Friends - Relationship - Friends

LegacyUser

Hi All,

A girl who I am dating (in the early stages) is still very close friends with her ex-boyfriend. They were best friends for ages, and he was her first love, first time and all that jazz. Now the relationship has ended, but I get the vibes that she still has 'special' feelings for him. They are still best friends? And they are going away to Spain for two weeks in three weeks time....
The cynic in me tells me that they shouldnt really be best friends after a relationship, or else that they still harbour feelings for each other.

Thats okay with me, but I just dont want to be dragged along on a wild goose chase ya know?

Do you think that it is possible to get back to 'best friends' status? Or like me, do you think that that there are still some residual feelings?

Wibbs

Yes it's possible. I can think of one example, but they wouldn't be as close as your GF appears to be. They defo wouldn't be going on holidays together. They weren't first loves either.

Hard to say. Personally I would be more concerned at the level of bonding, not so much that they may rekindle anything, but that a large part of her emotional landscape is taken up with him. It may leave you with little by comparison.

legend365

OP i would try not to invest too much in this girl.

Especially if there going away together(and your not going :O). I know exactly what me and the ex would be getting up too.

My ex wants to stay friends....but she still wants more.

ManOfMystery

I personally would find it kinda weird going away with an ex on holiday full stop. On most holidays drink is involved, feelings come out, etc. Not really a good idea to start with.

Is she aware of how it looks to you? Has she said anything to reassure you? If I was dating someone new and went on holidays with an ex whilst doing that, I'd be very conscious that it's going to look strange to the new person.

Wibbs

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Is she aware of how it looks to you? Has she said anything to reassure you? If I was dating someone new and went on holidays with an ex whilst doing that, I'd be very conscious that it's going to look strange to the new person.

That's one of the biggest parts of it for me. Her awareness. I mean anyone with half a brain should realise that it's an unusual situation at least and act accordingly with a new partner. You really don't want to get into a situation with a person of low awareness. It's either a symptom of self centered personality, or plain daft. Usually the former. If you ask her about it and you hear the justifications flow thick and fast, be very cautious.