problem with 13 year old girl

jmbkay

My 13 year old girl wants her tongue or lip pierced. I dont want her to have it done. Have no problem saying no. But she is being horribly aggressive about it. Dad grounded her, but she escaped. He is out looking for her as I type this. HELP!!!!!!!

dee_mc

is she home yet?
on reading your post all i could think of was what my mum used to say when i was out of line- that old chestnut, 'i'll start treating you like an adult when you start behaving like one' !
seriously though, the only thing i could recommend would be to bombard her with all the related complications (risk of scarring, infection, tearing, difficulty eating, the fact that facial jewelry is banned in most schools, etc) and explain that these are the reasons why it's illegal for her to have either of these piercings done without parental consent...
Then remind her she can feel free to deface her body once she's 18, but until then it's your decision
Good luck

January

It's not illegal here unfortunately and some of the scruffier shops in Dublin might actually do it for her, so be careful how you tread with this one.

I'd suggest you look up videos on youtube about tongue piercing infections and how bad they can get if you don't look after them properly. I'd also discuss with her that tongue and lip piercings can damage teeth if not properly done and in some cases if she plays with the piercing too much. Explain to her that you would not be willing to fork out money to fix a chipped tooth if that were to happen.

Tell her that while she might like the idea of a piercing now, in a couple of years she might not like it and may be scarred for life if it's a lip piercing. I had my eyebrow done and my tongue, took both out for different reasons. But I am now left with a visible scar above my eyebrow and if I stick my tongue out you can see where it was pierced although it is now closed.

Did your daughter climb out through a window or something? If I were you I wouldn't ground her, but just sit down and have an adult discussion with her. It's not like she's gone and got it done already. If she gets it done without your consent I would ground her then.

dee_mc

i didn't realise body piercing was legal for minors, the two places i have used must be particularly reputable as they would not pierce an under-18 without parental consent, or at least displayed signs to that effect.
i'm trying to imagine how i would deal with parenting dilemmas of this kind, maybe i will practise trying to keep plants and goldfish alive before progressing to children... :-/

January

dee_mc wrote: »

i didn't realise body piercing was legal for minors, the two places i have used must be particularly reputable as they would not pierce an under-18 without parental consent, or at least displayed signs to that effect.
i'm trying to imagine how i would deal with parenting dilemmas of this kind, maybe i will practise trying to keep plants and goldfish alive before progressing to children... :-/

Body piercing and tattooing is not regulated in Ireland at all. There are some places that are strict but I know of one place in particular that has no problem piercing 13/14/15 year olds.

jmbkay

Thanks to Dee Mc and Adrieanne for taking interest. She just ran out door and disappeared quick. Hung up when phoned. Then hubby rang her and she said she'd get killed if she came home. He told her nobody was going to kill her and went to pick her up. Was told in no uncertain terms that she wasn't having any piercings. Not the type you can reason with, as in medical explanations, doesn't want to hear them. She has type 1 diabetes and is not terribly interested in it. Issue has blown over for now after new runners were purchased! Yes, bribery and blackmail prevail! She said shops will do piercings for her age group if a parent goes and gives permission! God help us, kids get you every way.

glynngo

Yes, we have one too lol.. 14, wants tattoos, piercings.. unfortunately i have tats so cant really tell her not to..
All you can do is advise her to wait til she is a bit older so as not to make a hasty choice.. sometimes teenagers will pick fights about stuff like this jsut to get a rise out of you.. its a very angry emotional time for them.. i remember feeling out of sorts with the world and hating everyone when i was that age.. its hard.

StormWarrior

when I was 13 I wanted my nose peirced. My mum refused to allow it but I did it anyway. It got horribly infected. Anyway, just don't give her any money at all, then she won't be able to get it done. And tell her if she does get it done, she'll be grounded until she's 16!

*Page*

Hi
your lucky your daughter spoke to you about it 1st.

my parents found out about my piercings and tattoos the hard way .... after i had them done...

now i'm a mum myself and with a 9 year old who is very interested in following in my foot steps. i brought her to a salon sat her down with the peircer and he explained how the body and piercings work. she's now set on an age where it will be safe to be pierced and i'll be bringing her.


personally i think its the best way to treat kids that have strong opinions,