Status important?

LegacyUser

some guys are really stuck up.....
i was out one night and was talking to this gorgeous guy
everything was going great and when i said im a cleaner, he seemed to lose interest and didn't bother with me.....

do you think career status is important in your partner or do you just love them for who they are?

Otis Driftwood

Well if a guy told a girl he was a bin man do you think he would get a similar reaction?

Unfortunatly its the way the world works.You could be the nicest person in the world but unless you have a high payed job/drive a nice car/own a nice house etc then some people wouldnt go near you.

Its the change that has come in Irish society in the advent of the Celtic Tiger but with country in the toilet as we currently are alot of these pretentious materialistic assholes are going to be found out.

Dont worry about it OP,people like that arent worth your time anyway.

Barracudaincork

What did he do for a living?

Yeah i think status is important to some people and its not to others, just like someones looks are or someones figure is etc there are always people who things are important too that arent to others, this guys' just happened to be career.

Im sure you have things that are important too, we all do. Dont think its a "you" issue its not it would be anyone that was a cleaner to this guy, dont think if Angelina Jolie was a cleaner he would be interested, he still wouldnt.

Go find yourself another hot guy who when he hears you are a cleaner he thinks "sexy french maid outfits" and not where you are in your career path.

Wibbs

I would say a woman's status is less important for a man in general and more important the other way around. It really varies between people and I can count among the best matches as a couple among the worst matches as far as "status" goes.

Xiney

"Status" is important to some people.

Personally, I don't hang around with some people.



A year ago I was scrubbing toilets. Some people looked down on me for it, passed comments.

What they think doesn't bother me, because I know I am an intelligent, capable woman. I know I was doing what I had to to survive. And I know that what I have to offer the world isn't always what I'm going to be paid to do.

Doesn't hurt that the hand holding that toilet brush was the hand that wrote all my exams through to the completion of my BSc from the 12th ranked University in the world, but hey. Just goes to show that what you do for a living sometimes has very little to do with who you are.

LegacyUser

i am an excellent figure and don't need to pay gym expences as exercise is guaranteed with this job!

still maybe i should change my job
surely job preference is a choice and all people are equal.....apparently not

Polleta

Some people just want a woman/man in a particular career range. I know I've had guys make excuses and walk away after finding out what I do. My job is a job that is I suppose typically male in fact I'm the only female there so maybe they find it intimidating. Either way the change in perception just based on your job can be pathetic!

Those guys aren't worth it at all!

TiwstaSista

Career is superficial. Superficial people are everywhere. Just ignore superficial ppl

nesbitt

Status is important to some people but remember status changes.


I have been a Finance Director, on Social Welfare, Stay at home Mam (so therefore would have been a cleaner and bum wiper no less) and now Mature (still youngish) Student....

So OP your a cleaner, tomorrow I'm guessing you will be whatever you want to be.

Cleopatra12

His reaction screams mountains about what he is like! would you really be interested in someone like thatwho reacts in such a way, as hot as he was????

prinz

Unregistered wrote: »

some guys are really stuck up.....
i was out one night and was talking to this gorgeous guy

some girls are really stuck up......
i was out one night and was talking to this gorgeous girl.....


actually no I wasn't, because frankly some girls wouldn't give a lad the time of day.

Some people are, some aren't. For some it's career, others looks, others cars etc. and members of both sexes are guilty.

Stheno

Wibbs wrote: »

I would say a woman's status is less important for a man in general and more important the other way around. It really varies between people and I can count among the best matches as a couple among the worst matches as far as "status" goes.

I'd agree with this.

Some studies have shown that high "status" i.e. high achieving women find it more difficult to attract a partner given their profession.

OP I'd not be too worried about him to be honest, if he's that hung up on it, then he's not worth it

Wagon

"Status" is important to people who are twats. It's as simple as that. gorgeous guy or not, he's an asshole.

That_Guy

I'm a guy and I hang around guys on a daily basis and this type of carry on is always going on.

My friends and I myself are pretty shallow at times when it comes to women. Personally I couldn't care less what they're like or what they work as, as long as they've a good heart and a good personality.

Disrespecting somebody's job is just crazy IMO and you should be thankful that you have a job in these tough times.

Guys like this should be pulled off their high horse. Not worth your time.

I can guarantee the guy you were talking to is probably on welfare.

Kirnsy

Unregistered wrote: »

some guys are really stuck up.....
i was out one night and was talking to this gorgeous guy
everything was going great and when i said im a cleaner, he seemed to lose interest and didn't bother with me.....

do you think career status is important in your partner or do you just love them for who they are?

bullet dodged TBH. at least you didn't become more involved with him before he found out.

Xiney wrote: »

"Status" is important to some people.

Personally, I don't hang around with some people.



A year ago I was scrubbing toilets. Some people looked down on me for it, passed comments.

What they think doesn't bother me, because I know I am an intelligent, capable woman. I know I was doing what I had to to survive. And I know that what I have to offer the world isn't always what I'm going to be paid to do.

Doesn't hurt that the hand holding that toilet brush was the hand that wrote all my exams through to the completion of my BSc from the 12th ranked University in the world, but hey. Just goes to show that what you do for a living sometimes has very little to do with who you are.

fair play to you Xiney

Rb

Xiney wrote: »

Doesn't hurt that the hand holding that toilet brush was the hand that wrote all my exams through to the completion of my BSc from the 12th ranked University in the world, but hey. Just goes to show that what you do for a living sometimes has very little to do with who you are.

Yeah but there's a big difference between someone who is cleaning toilets to pay their way through college and someone who is cleaning toilets with no other prospects in the near future.

I didn't think that needed to be said though.

Sometimes I tire of this website and the liberal ideals that are tallied about but never apply to the real world.

A company MD will not go out with a binman/binwoman, simple as that. Why? Because they seldom would have anything in common apart from physical attraction and we are all aware that physical attraction alone will not lead to a good, healthy relationship.

We, as a species, look for the best mate possible and we, again as a species, are aware that there is more to a partner than merely their looks.

surely job preference is a choice and all people are equal.....apparently not

No, all people are not equal, I'm sorry to say.

Do you have the choice to be the next CEO of AIB? Do you have the choice to be the next astronaut?You may have the choice to pursue these positions, but you do not have the choice to take them up in the near distant future.

It is not a choice. Your job is generally a result of the work you have applied previously, be it academically or in a previous position. Your "position" doesn't merely say where in a company you are, it says a lot about your work ethic, your choices and your possibilities in the future and referring back to my previous point, we as a species tend to look for the "best" people.

Why is it that good jobs usually require a degree? It's not so that you're educated in the relevant field, more often than not its to show that you can put your mind to something, work at it and get a good result at it which will translate well to the workplace.

At some point we have to stop blaming everyone else.

Different people work harder than others and go "higher" than others, you have to accept that and also accept when they seek people who work as hard or do their best to better themselves. It's human nature.

I'm not preaching from the ivory tower here by the way, I've worked "****" jobs in the past and have had people try to look down on me for it but I never blamed them.

I hate to be the only one pointing out the elephant in the room btw, but it has to be said. There's no point in being delusional in life.

LegacyUser

I agree with rb and i am surprised about the number of people that say status is unimportant in this thread. As rb said we all want to find the best mate so why would anyone go below their job level. I would not go out with someone who I believed had a worse job than me. That is life and I think alot of peple have that attitude. And if you are successful society expects you to be with someone else successful or damn good looking and thats why you are with them. To the op if it bothers you so much you could change job if thats possible or else just forget about people like that.

willy wonka

Rb wrote: »

It is not a choice. Your job is generally a result of the work you have applied previously, be it academically or in a previous position. Your "position" doesn't merely say where in a company you are, it says a lot about your work ethic, your choices and your possibilities in the future and referring back to my previous point, we as a species tend to look for the "best" people.

I have 2 degrees, my first was only a pass but my second was a 1st class honours and I have won prizes in college for my work. I got a job when I left college and it barely paid more than the minimum wage - I also had a cleaning job - the cleaning job paid more than my professional job.

I am an extremely hard working, intelligent individual but I've mostly gone from crap job to crap job because I had no idea what to do with my life.

So frankly I think your view is narrow to say the least.

Rb

willy wonka wrote: »

I am an extremely hard working, intelligent individual but I've mostly gone from crap job to crap job because I had no idea what to do with my life.

And therefore my view is narrow? Because of your circumstances?

You do realise it's extremely likely you're in a small minority of graduates?

Or, I should say, a small minority of those who graduated before the economic problems here.

willy wonka

Rb wrote: »

And therefore my view is narrow? Because of your circumstances?

There are many people in my or similar situations. There are many people who are not defined by their jobs. There are many people at different stages and circumstances of their lives.
Judging people by what they do is narrow

Rb

willy wonka wrote: »

There are many people in my or similar situations. There are many people who are not defined by their jobs. There are many people at different stages and circumstances of their lives.
Judging people by what they do is narrow

It's not judging people simply by what they do, it's what they're trying to do or trying to accomplish which refers back to me having to point out the difference between someone cleaning toilets to put themselves through college, and someone who is cleaning toilets without anything else planned for themselves.

To be quite honest, most "hardworking and intelligent" people I know who graduated before the collapse of the job market aren't working in crappy jobs now. The ones whos jobs have been lost thanks to the economy might be, which is understandable, but those who've come out of college and are still drifting are certainly a minority.

Some people might be in jobs they're not too happy with and are thinking of changing, but that doesn't come down under "drifting".

Regardless, this is of no help to the OP so I suggest we leave it at that.

eleven

I agree with rb mostly.

I've been a cleaner, worked in MacDonalds, retail etc... so I have been in the same position. This however is my view:

Status relates to beauty, wealth, career, attitude, morals etc.

Personally I am attracted to people with a creative bent, insatiable readers, adventurous types, someone likely to burn the candle at both ends... Someone with this personality is going to have a high 'status' in my eyes.

Your full time job is what you spend most of your time doing. This is what you by default are going to spend most of your waking hours engaged in and thinking about.

If someone told me they were a cleaner. Full stop, nothing else, no qualifying remark like, 'but I'm saving to go travelling/funding college/music/art/my family, or even I'm on hiatus from making a choice with my life AT THE MOMENT/I'm just working to live and have fun, AT the moment' I would be kinda suprised... I would probably think to myself, how come this person has no other life goals or interests beyond their menial job?

That's honestly how I feel, and I don't think that it's shallow.

Rb

eleven wrote: »

I agree with rb mostly.

I've been a cleaner, worked in MacDonalds, retail etc... so I have been in the same position. This however is my view:

Status relates to beauty, wealth, career, attitude, morals etc.

Personally I am attracted to people with a creative bent, insatiable readers, adventurous types, someone likely to burn the candle at both ends... Someone with this personality is going to have a high 'status' in my eyes.

Your full time job is what you spend most of your time doing. This is what you by default are going to spend most of your waking hours engaged in and thinking about.

If someone told me they were a cleaner. Full stop, nothing else, no qualifying remark like, 'but I'm saving to go travelling/funding college/music/art/my family, or even I'm on hiatus from making a choice with my life AT THE MOMENT/I'm just working to live and have fun, AT the moment' I would be kinda suprised... I would probably think to myself, how come this person has no other life goals or interests beyond their menial job?

That's honestly how I feel, and I don't think that it's shallow.

Spot on and I believe this to be a perfectly natural and reasonable point of view.

willy wonka

Rb wrote: »

Regardless, this is of no help to the OP so I suggest we leave it at that.

All I will say is that a high position in a company can mean jack sh*t

If someone told me they were a cleaner. Full stop, nothing else, no qualifying remark like, 'but I'm saving to go travelling/funding college/music/art/my family, or even I'm on hiatus from making a choice with my life AT THE MOMENT/I'm just working to live and have fun, AT the moment' I would be kinda suprised... I would probably think to myself, how come this person has no other life goals or interests beyond their menial job?

The person in question shouldnt have to explain themselves. Why should they have to defend their job to people who are going to judge them on it anyway.
A cleaner may not be the most glamourous of jobs but if we didn't have cleaners we would use filthy toilets and walk dirty streets. A cleaner is an honest job. Rather work as a cleaner than as a prostitute or a drug dealer.

Wibbs

I would tend to agree with Rb. That's how it works pretty much, but I would agree with eleven's additions that it's not the job so much as how you define yourself and your interests. But yep most will make a judgement, especially women about men. Women have it easier on that score in general, but of course they're judged on other things more than men. So a company MD will go out with a secretary. Happens a fair bit, but the reverse would be very rare.

Silverfish

Wibbs wrote: »

But yep most will make a judgement, especially women about men. Women have it easier on that score in general, but of course they're judged on other things more than men. So a company MD will go out with a secretary. Happens a fair bit, but the reverse would be very rare.

I could be reading you wrong, but does this not prove men judge by status, since they're more likely to go out with someone 'beneath' them, than someone more successful?

Some studies have shown that high "status" i.e. high achieving women find it more difficult to attract a partner given their profession.

I'm also failing to see how these generalisations help the OP in any way, while its great to get an insight and that, it was actually a male who looked down on her for her status, no matter how many men post that its us women who care about that

Wibbs

Silverfish wrote: »

I could be reading you wrong, but does this not prove men judge by status, since they're more likely to go out with someone 'beneath' them, than someone more successful?

I suppose. Well they have a wider range of status levels going on. So they will see the possible partner pool as bigger and I would say yes, fewer men would go for a woman much above them in status(ego thing too of course). Women's pool would be smaller in general and I've noted even successful women tend to look for a guy "above" them. I know exceptions on both sides too, but the exceptions bring more to the table beyond their job description. It's obviously in general and it is changing, compared to in the past.

TomMc

It's not what you do but how well you do it that counts. Women will always find men with a higher social value more attractive, than those who are not. Forgetting any attraction that is all physical and nothing else. The greater a mans achievements and passions, the more they will see them as go getters, interesting, good providers long term and so added security. On the other hand most men will be more interested in personality and looks, than career or status. Selfish / materialistic / vain or insecure men who define themselves by their career or status (lots have few other interests never mind a personality, total bores) will want a partner that (for want of a better word) complements them. Someone who will look good on their arm and have a high value within their own social circle. An affectation if you like.

The problem with social status or certain career types, is that some people get paid too much respect, often undeserved for what they do or who they are. We have seen all the pillars of society (mainly old Ireland) get put on pedestals, given a free reign to do what they liked (unquestioned) and so they abused this privileged position. Best to assess someone on their values, character and personality than their social status or career.

Oh The Humanity

Its important to some and not to others.

The key is to decide what type of person you are and then avoid the other type.

It matters to some who see life as a competition with rigid standards and timetables on when things need to be done.

Shape your own life and screw what society expects!

Sephiroth_dude

it would'nt bother me what job a woman did.............as long as she was'nt a hooker :pac:,I think you had an easy escape op your mans head was stuck up his own arse.

LegacyUser

Rb articulated most of what I wanted to say. Your 'career' is important to others because if you are to pursue a relationship you'd like to think you'd have many things in common. Now in a way he may have been narrow minded by not hanging around to find out what your other interests were....or maybe he had exhausted all of those questions and finally asked about your career in the hope that there was something which could connect you.

If you have nothing in common the relationship goes stale very quickly. Nothing worse than coming home from a stressful job and attempting to share your day with someone who has no interest in what you do, and this example could be the cleaner coming home to offload to the bank executive and him just sneering, or the bank executive offloading to a tracksuited couch potato who has more interest in watching Jerry Springer. How could you possibly hold an engaging conversation in that scenario.....or whatever

If you had told him you were a lesbian he would have walked away and there's nothing wrong with being a lesbian. There's nothing wrong with being a cleaner, but I'm afraid it didn't float his boat!

LegacyUser

thanks for all the comments...i dont agree with some off them.. ie. a relationship wouldn't work out between a bank executive and a cleaner because they wuld have nothing in common...there's a bigger picture...two people who are complete opposties can have a great relationship. they compliment each other...take a couple from different cultural backgrounds...would that be viewed as strange today?

i also think some of the responces that included descriptions such as "women who are more successful"....were totally narrow-minded because whats success judged upon?

should success not be judged on how
happy you are in life...not the position you hold or the earnings?
how you enjoy a healthy standard of living
how you treat other people

its what i love to do and i get great satisfaction out of it..
if you've seen a documentary on tv3 "Addicted to Cleaning" you will know what I mean..
im not addicted but i enjoy it...

This

personally, i wouldnt care what job someone had aslong as they had one.... or were trying to get one.....

the OH has a friend who at 29 still lives off his parents. I dunno how he manages to get girls.... it really just makes me think you still havnt worked a day in your life at 29 what are your prospects at life. there has been alot of 'if i could i would' but honestly, i find nothing sexier then a hard working man/women with goals and ambitions.

RacoonQueen

Things like that don't bother me, personally I'm very ambitious and love learning, want to push myself as far as possible etc, I can't understand how some people would be happy in a job with no prospects but it wouldn't stop me dating them.

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

some guys are really stuck up.....
i was out one night and was talking to this gorgeous guy
everything was going great and when i said im a cleaner, he seemed to lose interest and didn't bother with me.....

do you think career status is important in your partner or do you just love them for who they are?

Status is rarely important to a guy and I do wonder if this was the cause or you may just be overly sensitive to it.

Women are generally far far more status and income sensitive.