confused over guardianship issuses

tweethpie

i am wondering if someone can help me.
My ex was awarded guardianship about a month ago.He has access to the child every tuesday between 3 and 7.This is all he wanted to take child due to work commentments.He was due to take child every second weekend but the judge changed it to tuesday each week.So far he has not turned up twice not giving notice once.The judge already said if he can not take child tues he must take child wed but this is not an every week thing.he is always late which i than be late for work and i could lose my job over it.He was due to pay back dated maitance in which he still owes E25. It may not seem much but the child due it and wen i question him bout it he justs laughs and says ill get it when he has it.In court everything when his way and i seemed to just have to sit there and take it.

if i go back to court is there anything i can do over him missing visits and the money....what way can i get sole quardianship back or is there any way.The child in question is 7 and i have made all choices for her since she was born.he is not interested in her life just wants to boast to his friends that he is perfect dad while i must struggle between 2 jobs and paying sitters.

please can some one help i tried lokking at sites but i not understand any it

McCrack

I'm giving specific advice here but yes Applicants can go back into court to have Orders varied and maintenance enforced.

Citizen's Information website is good for explaining the issues, also contact your local community law centre/legal aid board and generally the family courts office are helpful to people unrepresented (no lawyer).

tweethpie

i work so i do not get legal aid. rang dolphin house but they said that i have to wait till he is in arrears by double the maitance order. all school fees due now so explained if he could pay it as its really needed.All my money goes on children. This fella has just brought a house so the money due to my child is an issue to him in paying it.

can i get sole guardianship back and if i can what would he have to so this could happen. he is unreliable and does not care for child

McCrack

Legal Aid is means tested and community law centres are free for professional advice regardless of income.

An application can be made to court under the Guardianship of Infants Act to remove a guardian so failing getting advices from the above contact the family court office.

Klingon Hamlet

tweethpie wrote: »

i work so i do not get legal aid. rang dolphin house but they said that i have to wait till he is in arrears by double the maitance order. all school fees due now so explained if he could pay it as its really needed.All my money goes on children. This fella has just brought a house so the money due to my child is an issue to him in paying it.

can i get sole guardianship back and if i can what would he have to so this could happen. he is unreliable and does not care for child

Dolphin House, IMHO, is a circus run by clowns. The staff are unfriendly, unhelpful, uninterested and frankly, half the time, inhuman. Do not rely on them for help. They see an endless litany of bitter cases daily---they do. Not. Care. I cannot emphasise this enough.

Maintenance is a court ordered obligation. I don't know where they're getting this wait for the double-the-amount-in-debt garbage. (They, not you:o You're an innocent in all of this)

Go to Ray Kelly of the USFI group in Talaght (it used to focus on fathers oly as a huge bias has and does still exist, but mums are looked after there too trust me---Ray hates, as much as I do, a philandering waste of a father---your ex makes my blood boil!)

Ray can be contacted at 01-4514295. He really knows his stuff. He'll help you, trust me. I wish you all the best of luck. If it's any consolation, my son's been taken away from me (I'm a daddy) and because I didn't have guardianship, the mom wasn't stopped. I cannot fathom why mums and dads can be so selfish...:(

tweethpie

the dad pays it into my account by 365 banking. he told me he will not que up in any bank or any were to lodge the money and ill receive it each week when i get it. i thank you so much for that number and will ring and see how i get on.
I think it so unfair that many kids have to suffer due to an ex partner been selfish and only think of them selves. only hope in the coming years the children realise this and realise themselves about the other parent and what they really like

servicecharge

Tweetie: As somebody said, you don't have to wait. If he is delaying paymnets or not paying you can apply to court and ask for payments to be made through the Court itself. That way if he does not pay the court chases him. Works for most people in such a situation.

If you need some help you can mail me servicecharged@gmail.com

servicecharge

Also you have to remember that Guardianship and access are two different matters and in turn they are different to maintenance. You can't use one against the other. Guardianship will almost always be granted, nothing to do with maintenance.

You need to go back to court, he is in breach of access and maintenance. Ask for access to be curtailed to every 2 weeks due to his missing (keep a diary, judges love diaries!) days.

Then ask for maintenance to be paid to the court mentioning how much he has failed to pay. Bring bank statement with the days hightlighted to show his inconsistent payments.

Remember to deal with each area seperately. the biggest mistake made by people is thinking guardianship or access have something to do with maintenance. Treat them like seperate court cases, don't lump everything together.

bonzodog2

I don't have any particular experience of this stuff other than several daughters who don't live with their children's fathers anymore, but I'd suggest you get him to set up a standing order from his bank to yours, also get ineternet banking for your own account so you can check it happens.Good luck!

jayo245

I agree that you need to keep issues of payment of maintenance absolutely separate from issues of access to the child. I myself was the child in such a situation. In fact my father never paid anything towards our maintenance and had little to no interest in visitation. My mother however did not seek to limit visitation and he eventually stopped turning up. However my mother became friends with other separated women and I likewise became friends with their children. I've seen from the child's perspective when a parent uses visitation as a pawn to punish. I remember being 9 years old and trying to comfort my best friend because her parents were taking chunks out of each other in court. Her father was being denied access because he fell behind in payments. She didn't really care about the money. She just wanted to see her dad.

Parents can become too caught up in their 'war' with each other. Yes, payment of maintenance is very, very important. But punishment for failure to do so, or punishment for simply being an arrogant prat should not be the limiting or removal of access to the child. When you do that its your child who is ultimately being punished. Absolutely take him back to court re the payments but for your childs sake don't remove your child's access.

bonzodog2

++1 to that. Irrespective of how parent A feels about parent B, the child deserves to have the opportunity to see the one they don't live with, preferably without the "your dad's just a ****" type of comments

Ab roller plus

First off, get somebody to represent you. Apply for legal Aid. Waiting list can be up to 2/3 months. Basically if you earn less then 18 thousand a year your entitled to it.

In relation to maintenance, you should make an application for something called an Attachement of Eanring order. If a judge makes this order against the father of the child, the money can be taken directly from his wages with him even seeing it.

You should also look for a "lump sum" payment.

As mentioned above, access, gaurdianship and maintenance are all seperate issues.

You definitely need representation, (a solicitor or a barrister prefably) because if you dont nip this in the budd now things will only get worse.

Womens Refuge might be willing to help you with the form filling and attending court with you. I know they do in Meath.

You can get free legal advice from your local citizens information centre. www.flac.ie