Some advice please!

LegacyUser

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months now. He recently told me he thinks he needs a little bit of space because he feels he is getting closer to me. He wasn't long out of a relationship when we got together, is he normal to feel like this or should I be worried?

Slow Motion

Unregistered wrote: »

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months now. He recently told me he thinks he needs a little bit of space because he feels he is getting closer to me. He wasn't long out of a relationship when we got together, is he normal to feel like this or should I be worried?

I don't get this really, you are going out 3 months, what's the problem with getting close? Do you want to get close? If so then you need to say this, if not then you need to say this too, why be in a relationship if you don't want to get close? I don't think anyone looks for a long term relationship it just developes, if you or he conciously decides to stop it developing then you both need to be up front about it and decide where you should go from there!

LegacyUser

I suppose I'm just a bit confused about why he says he needs space if he feels he is getting closer to me. I am getting close to him so I think its just the whole "needs space" statements that is throwing me.

shellyboo

I'd be worried if I were you. Getting closer is natural, and it's a good thing. If he doesn't want to get closer, what's the point in going out at all?

Blue_Wolf

Nothing wrong with someone wanting to have space. Everyone needs it. Has he gone out with his mates recently, or does he spend everyday with you.
It's bit weird for him to say that he doesn't want to get close. That means he hasn't gotten over his last relationship which he must have been hurt.

The problem with being with someone who is just out of a relationship is that they may use you as a re-bound.

LegacyUser

Blue_Wolf wrote: »

Nothing wrong with someone wanting to have space. Everyone needs it. Has he gone out with his mates recently, or does he spend everyday with you.
It's bit weird for him to say that he doesn't want to get close. That means he hasn't gotten over his last relationship which he must have been hurt.

The problem with being with someone who is just out of a relationship is that they may use you as a re-bound.

He does spend plenty of time with his friends, I would never expect him to spend all his time with me, I suppose he might not be over his last relationship yet although he says he is.

cnocbui

Doesn't want to get close translates as wants sex but not much else. Find someone else.

Slow Motion

cnocbui wrote: »

Doesn't want to get close translates as wants sex but not much else. Find someone else.

Not the most diplomatic way of putting it put it may be true!

OP You need to sit down with your OH and have a straight talking session and make clear exactly what you both expect from this relationship, until you do you will remain confused, only the two of you can decide where it's going!

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months now. He recently told me he thinks he needs a little bit of space because he feels he is getting closer to me. He wasn't long out of a relationship when we got together, is he normal to feel like this or should I be worried?

I wonder how close you have been getting. Have you been spending a huge amount of time together ? Like almost every evening ? and weekends ? Also you don't mention if you are having sex with him.
Men are strange about feeling too involved sometimes. He may be feeling that it's all too similar to his previous relationship, that failed. He may be being told by his mates that he is getting in too deep.
There's no substitute for talking about it thoroughly and calmly when you get a chance to get him in a quiet setting. Not beating around the bush. Questions need to be asked straight out.

All the best.