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Met a guy who is bi-sexual.

  • 07-06-2009 7:49pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hey,
    I am away traveling at the minute and basically this guy who I thought was gay, started expressing interest in me. Well after a few drinks and some talk I find out he was actually bi-sexual. I have no problems with homosexuality, bisexuality etc but the actual thought that I may see someone who may be bi-sexual never really ocurred to me. I often thought of how I would cope with finding out a partner of mine had been with another man.

    Anyway I ended up in bed with this man and while it was nice, it wasn't mind-blowing. However we have since spent some time together and gotten on really well.
    He is tender, romantic, caring, considerate, and easy to talk to.
    I still can't help thinking that he may like men more than women although he has told me the reverse is true. He wants us to meet up again.

    I know it really shouldn't bother me that he is bi-sexual or hetero but it was something I had never envisaged in my life.

    I am a bit confused as to what I am asking.
    Maybe other girls experiences, feelings, doubts, advice. Don't judge, I am usually quite liberal.. This is prob an irrational concern..


Comments

  • #2
    Wagon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    saffodil wrote: »
    I am a bit confused as to what I am asking.
    Maybe other girls experiences, feelings, doubts, advice. Don't judge, I am usually quite liberal.. This is prob an irrational concern..
    I'm guessing you're worried that he might be more liable to cheat on you? Put it this way, his attraction to men is the same as a straight bloke being attracted to women. however, it doesn't mean that he's going to run around and sleep with everything that moves.

    Bi-sexuality just means that someone is attracted to both sexes, it doesn't mean that they aren't incapable of staying with one person. Whether they'll cheat on you or not isn't something to do with their sexual preferences. It's their character that influnces that.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I think a peoples big problem with going out with a bi-sexual person is down to jealousy...even if you're not a jealous person.

    Like if you date a straight guy, technically 50% of the population (females) are the competition. You date a bi-sexual guy and 100% of the population is the competition


  • #4
    Wurly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    Unregistered wrote: »
    I think a peoples big problem with going out with a bi-sexual person is down to jealousy...even if you're not a jealous person.

    Like if you date a straight guy, technically 50% of the population (females) are the competition. You date a bi-sexual guy and 100% of the population is the competition
    They're not competition in a loving and committed relationship though.

    If a man is going to cheat, he's gonna cheat. Hetero, gay or bi-sexual.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    competition is probably the wrong word but if you're in a loving relationship and you see what you think is your OH checking out the opposite sex, you might get a bit miffed. With a bi-sexual partner, you could feel that about every person they look at...where they could be just admiring someones clothes etc.

    It's not the only reason someone might feel strange about sating a bi-sexual but it's something they're not used to.


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the advice..

    Hm, it's not that I am jealous. I know he is off traveling, he is bound to have more sexual experiences as am I. His last male encounter was a few years ago now.

    I still can't help being perturbed by him having had relations with men, thinking about it is a turn-off. I don't find the homosexual act repulsive in the least, have gay friends who are quite open with me.
    He was quite adamant that we meet again, I am quite interested in this too but just have a niggling doubt. when he's there I forget these feelings..Quite confused as to how I feel I guess.


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  • #7
    VaioCruiser
    Closed Accounts Posts: 750 ✭✭✭VaioCruiser


    Bi is twice the temptation.... so trust is the big thing here in my opinion. He has to face up to this even more than you. Being bi requires him to be more self aware and conscious of his needs, his temptations and his priorities.
    It's not just prejudice that causes people to think twice before dating a bi.

    All the best.


  • #8
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Actually I have found that people who are bisexual tend to be a more more particular or fussy in their tastes and there for have an even smaller pool of people they are attracted to.

    Just because you are attracted to some men and some women it doesn't mean at every and any man or woman is going to float your both or even spark your interest and even if you meet such a person bisexual people are well capable of being able to say no and be true to their partners.


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