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GF eating habits

  • 05-06-2009 8:00pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been with my gf for 6+ years but in the last year or so something has been bothering me. She will come home for work to a reasonably healthy dinner - I cook as I home first but she will then proceed to gourge her way through junk food for the night! I too am guilty of these but only once in a while. With her it is every night and she gives out then about a weight and gets upset... Obviously, I support her in all her efforts to loose weight but at this stage I really dont know how to help. I truly love her for the way she is but she doesn't love herself and constantly gets upset about her weight and consoles by eating more junk.


Comments

  • #2
    Beth1978
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭Beth1978


    Unregistered wrote: »
    I've been with my gf for 6+ years but in the last year or so something has been bothering me. She will come home for work to a reasonably healthy dinner - I cook as I home first but she will then proceed to gourge her way through junk food for the night! I too am guilty of these but only once in a while. With her it is every night and she gives out then about a weight and gets upset... Obviously, I support her in all her efforts to loose weight but at this stage I really dont know how to help. I truly love her for the way she is but she doesn't love herself and constantly gets upset about her weight and consoles by eating more junk.

    Maybe something is bothering her - I know I eat like that when I'm upset or just when I'm bored. Its a vicious circle to get caught up in. My advice would be to get active...its the best thing I've done. But go about it in a nice way, perhaps say to her that you're starting to feel a little sluggish so you're going to try and go for a walk a few times a week in the evening time. Ask her the odd time if she wants to go along and I'm sure she'll start to join you. Or perhaps take up something like tag rugby together, something that keeps your minds occupied, something fun!


  • #3
    tolteq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 495 ✭✭tolteq


    Unregistered wrote: »
    I've been with my gf for 6+ years but in the last year or so something has been bothering me. She will come home for work to a reasonably healthy dinner - I cook as I home first but she will then proceed to gourge her way through junk food for the night! I too am guilty of these but only once in a while. With her it is every night and she gives out then about a weight and gets upset... Obviously, I support her in all her efforts to loose weight but at this stage I really dont know how to help. I truly love her for the way she is but she doesn't love herself and constantly gets upset about her weight and consoles by eating more junk.

    u need to havve a candid discussion with her about it. if it was me i think i would constantly nag her about junk food being bad for you.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the replies.

    I am going to try the getting out more often option first and if that fails it will have to be a serious heart to heart. I cannot sit back and watch her make herself so unhappy by eating so much junk...


  • #5
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    tolteq wrote: »
    u need to havve a candid discussion with her about it. if it was me i think i would constantly nag her about junk food being bad for you.
    OP, don't do that - nagging is not attractive.

    Maybe she's just bored - why not suggest getting involved in activities together in the evening, such as simply going for walks/cycles together, or something like playing tennis. I know you're wrecked when you come in from work but you'll feel better, especially in this weather, if you spend your evenings actually getting out there and doing something.


  • #6
    Runner Bean
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11 ✭Runner Bean


    tolteq wrote: »
    u need to havve a candid discussion with her about it. if it was me i think i would constantly nag her about junk food being bad for you.

    Under no circumstances nag her about her food! Girls in general do not have a straight forward relationship with food - hence the fact that they can stress massively about desperately wanting to lose weight and end up eating more because eating is an emotional issue.


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  • #7
    legend365
    Closed Accounts Posts: 460 ✭✭legend365


    Maybe if you exercise and get fit yourself you can be an inspiration or example or..eh.....cant think of the word right now.

    Oh and maybe prepare salads and stuff in advance. I find it hard to make up somthing after work but if theres a big bowl of salad in the fridge all week, it gets eaten!


  • #8
    tolteq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 495 ✭✭tolteq


    Dudess wrote: »
    OP, don't do that - nagging is not attractive.

    if his gf keeps goin the way she go,, she wont be either. he has to do it. nobody says he has to be nasty about it. she need someone to help her obviously. she wont change her own behaviour by herself.


  • #9
    tolteq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 495 ✭✭tolteq


    Runner Bean wrote: »
    Under no circumstances nag her about her food! Girls in general do not have a straight forward relationship with food - hence the fact that they can stress massively about desperately wanting to lose weight and end up eating more because eating is an emotional issue.

    eating is not an emotional issue.

    BSc in Psychology


  • #10
    Xiney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,085 ✭✭✭Xiney


    nagging isn't going to help, though.

    Perhaps suggest that you both stop bringing junk food into the house and start snacking on fruit and air popped popcorn in the evenings. The weather has also been really great, maybe suggest going for walks or bike rides after dinner (try to avoid going straight to the ice cream shop...)


  • #11
    Xiney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,085 ✭✭✭Xiney


    Food is an emotional issue for many women.

    And she does need to change her behaviour for herself - someone else changing it for her isn't going to work.


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  • #12
    tolteq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 495 ✭✭tolteq


    Xiney wrote: »
    Food is an emotional issue for many women.

    And she does need to change her behaviour for herself - someone else changing it for her isn't going to work.

    from reading the situation, it seems like the original posters gf, isnt able to help herself.

    addiction, overeating, gambling is all the result of something else. underlying.


  • #13
    Xiney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,085 ✭✭✭Xiney


    yes, an underlying emotional issue.


  • #14
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    #1 - dont have junk in the house, its that simple - if she wants to then go out and buy some, then that requires her to go out the door, and sure she might as well go walking then..
    #2 - eat your own junk on your own (ie not around her, if you dont feel you should deprive yourself).. i don't mean this in a smart way, but you need to show her some support with healthier eating and that is harder for her to do, if you are in front of her eating what you like, but suggesting that she watches what she eats
    #3 - activity - any of the suggestions by other posters here, or how about the Bootcamps that are run around the city in different parks? That would be a great couple-thing to do!

    best of luck!


  • #15
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I don't think you should say anything directly, I know when I get in a rut and am eating because I feel fat (yes I know that makes no sense) and my boyfriend comes out with pearls of wisdom such as "Do you have enough points for that?" (weightwatchers) or "maybe you should have an apple instead" it makes me feel even worse. If she's already feeling down about her weight then you mentioning it is going to make her even more conscious and make her worried about her attractiveness & about losing you etc etc, possibly leading to more over eating

    I think the activity plan is a great suggestion. You could do a day activity some Saturday to kick start it and make it fun rather than dragging yourselves out after work, then when your gf starts getting fit she'll be more inclined to want to exercise coz it makes you feel good. Something I was looking at for my bf & i recently was an introductory kayaking course, i think it's one Saturday or maybe 2 http://www.canoe.ie/ , though i was looking at that before it got cold again...

    Anyhow, good luck


  • #16
    tannytantans
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 302 ✭✭tannytantans


    OP I used to be exactly like your girlfriend!

    I just want to say - definitely don't nag!!!It will either upset your girlfriend more or else make her angry.

    I used to find myself eating loads of junk in the evenings mostly out of boredom. There would be nothing else to do so I'd eat 2 or 3 bars of chocolate and feel so bad afterwards.

    My boyfriend and I have started playing badminton in the evenings. It occupies an hour or so and I've really cut down on the junk and now if I do pig out it's not quite so bad cos I'm burning some of it off. I'd definitely suggest that the pair of you take up an activity in the evenings and both of you will benefit.


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