Back in the dating game

LegacyUser

Hi guys as the title says, I'm trying to get back into the dating game..

I've recently become seperated to.. lets put it mildly.. the most evil, two timing b***h imaginable, sorry just venting a little steam there, anyway I don't want to say much more on the subject as thats a whole different story for another day, and at the moment I'm in a bit of a legal wrangle as regards property etc, etc.

OK, so I'm 40ish, male, a bit overweight - working on that now, not feeling sorry for myself in the slightest and a bit out of practice when it comes to the old dating game and I'm not too big into the old nightclubs anymore.

All my friends, male and female are all married/in relationships so going out with mates "on the pull" isn't really an option. I guess I'm lacking a bit of confidence in the "getting to know you" stage.

I've toyed with the idea of joining an internet dating site but don't fancy putting my pic up on the world wide web just yet!

Another problem I have at the moment which might be a bit off putting to some is that I'm back home with the folks until something gets sorted with house I've lived in for the past number of years.

So there it goes, thanks in advance for all your comments.

Dumb

Lose the weight. Go to a bar. Sit at the bar. Buy a woman a briffick orange. All (well most) women like them. <Snip> and take it from there. You'll do fine.

The Recliner

Dumb try to be a bit more helpful

Next time it wont be a warning

LegacyUser

Dumb wrote: »

Lose the weight. Go to a bar. Sit at the bar. Buy a woman a briffick orange. All (well most) women like them. <Snip> and take it from there. You'll do fine.

No offence taken, all comments welcome

tolteq

maybe try the internet dating like you said? there's less pressure there. ur probably from da old skool of dating. so you can try that too. there are a lot of 18/19 year old bimbos on the club scene though. i reckon with the net dating u might find somebody with a bit more maturity. well thats my thinking on the matter,

Beth1978

Hi OP. Are you sure you're ready to get back on the dating scene? No offense but you still sound a little sore at your ex...which you seem to have every right to be but maybe you should make sure you're 100% ready to get back onto the dating scene. Maybe take a bit of time out and work on getting your confidence back...you sound a little bit lacking in it at the moment.

But if you're going for the internet dating I would recommend putting your pic up, you'll get far more replies/responses that way...I know it may seem shallow but its not really, women just prefer to put the face to the guy. I tried the online dating sites but they just weren't for me, I was so shy that I found it hard to arrange to meet up with guys. My advice would be not to mail for too long, exchange a few with women but then meet up sooner rather than later.

As for living at home...everyone has baggage or a reason for their current situation. No one should be judgemental of anyone these days...so if you meet the right woman she shouldn't look down her nose at you.

Best of luck to you and I hope you meet someone soon.

Dumb

Unregistered wrote: »

No offence taken, all comments welcome

It is helpful. It works for me all the time especially the hand shandy. It's a good line to use.

Zaph

Dumb banned for a month for persistent trolling

PK2008

Dont worry about the house thing but consider doing a part time course, something you've always been interested in but maybe never got round to doing like "Beginners Spanish" or something (preferably something with a high perecentage of females)

It sounds a bit naff but it actually contains all the perfect ingredients for finding a partner:

Shared interest, a "safe" situation where you can get to know people without pressure, common goal (ie to learn something), potential for "helping each other out" thereby developing trust, the opportunity for group bonding (ie class night out), plus the most vital ingredient- frequency, that is- seeing someone once its unlikely that you or they will form an interest but if you see someone once every week for 12 weeks the interest grows and by week 7 or 8 it may be mutual attraction.

Best part about this method is that even if you dont meet a partner you'll at least learn something from the course and will probably make a few friends aswell. Win/Win

LegacyUser

I have heard very mixed reports from web dating. Some find the love of their life... others find nothing but stalkers and psychos.

So I guess it's like a pub, statistically! I have heard pubs arent great places to meet potential partners, though I met my lady there, albiet at a music gig (common interest etc etc)... but many who meet in pubs discover nothing in common once they can actually hear each other speak.

I have heard that salsa dancing or similar is a great spot for meeting lasses your age... I would definitely go down the course/society/lessons route rather than going out to the pub to try and pull, unless you are a very slick talker you could really depress and frustrate yourself, especially if you are planning on getting with hot 21YO's!

LegacyUser

Internet is the way to go...Ive had lots of success with it (just unfortunately have always blown it afterwards...).

Best of luck with it !!

redhead82

Definitley the internet, the minute a woman in a bar, club, learning course, whatever, hears that you're living at home, she'll go running! At least online you can be honest and won't have to have that conversation in person. And hey if the online ones go running, at least you can filter them out and move on to the next one! Simples

Tchaikovsky

Online dating is worth a go and there are a couple of decent free ones, but don't get disheartened if you find it's not for you.
Salsa classes are also great, there are so many beginners classes going on out there; it's great exercise and, having to dance with a lady, it's a fantastic way of meeting people.

redhead82

Tchaikovsky wrote: »

Online dating is worth a go and there are a couple of decent free ones, but don't get disheartened if you find it's not for you.
Salsa classes are also great, there are so many beginners classes going on out there; it's great exercise and, having to dance with a lady, it's a fantastic way of meeting people.

ok I agree with tchaikovsky wholeheartedly! You should try both :)

I_am_Jebus

Internet dating is a good option, but you know not the only.

I am a bit younger than you, mid 20s but most of my friends (like you, are married or in long term relationships) But they still like "lads" nights out and I meet them at least once a month for a night out on the town. You should be able to do the same.

Alternatively, join a local club, whatver your interest may be... movies, books, sports etc... that way you can meet like minded people and hit something off possible...


Mix all three together (pub/clubs, internet, local interest groups) you wont be too long about meeting potential partners irrespective of your age

suspectpackage

its pretty simple, if you want to meet women, approach them. They are everywhere.