Want to take it further but can't?!??

LegacyUser

Well here it goes...

Been with a guy for 6mths, perfect relationship, connected on all areas, never a fight or even slight disagreement.

He broke up with me 2 weeks ago (totally out of the blue) saying something along the lines wanting to take the relationship further but can't. I was devasted. 2 weeks no contact but had so many questions that I asked him to meet me again which he did, talked for 45mins about general stuff (its was almost as we were still together) and then asked him to really tell me why he wants out of this. Getting the same answer he has hit a wall and can't move past it, is unable to merge our lives together and thinks its unfair to me. Said can't get himself to have me meeting his friends or parents/sibblings.

He cries, he hugs me, he tells me he terribly missed the last 2 weeks, checked his phone a lot waiting for txts or contact, had some good news about a new job and first thing he thought was to tell me...he seems just as bad as me since the break-up.

He says he had a bad relationship and was hurt badly, so wall seems a protection that he can't take down even though he wants to.

I know that I need to move on but I am secretly hoping he will eventually come around.

Any advice from guys that felt the same and broke it off with a girl...? Or any thoughts on this in general?

Nitxteha

I would stay friends with him until he makes up his mind (only friends, no physical contact...). Give him time and space.

Don't try to overanalyse the situation. If you meet him, be friendly but don't rise the subject of the break-up. Don't act like his girlfriend because you are not anymore, let him feel the difference.

How old is he? All that crying and "I want but I can't" sounds a bit childish (no offence).

He's taking the risk of you meeting someone else....

good luck

LegacyUser

Thanks Nitxteha...

He is 33, I am 32.

I know it sounds a lil' childish (no offence taken) but to me he seems genuinely torn/confused/upset about the situation.

Gone Fishin

Coming from a guy, this is a typical guy response. He's just not being honest. There is something behind this and he needs to face up to it. If he has been hurt in the past, then try and he get him to talk about it and explain it to you. Tell him you are not trying to over analyse him or his situation but you need to get a handle on whats wrong.

If you explain to him that you have feelings for him, maybe he will understand - try to do that without scaring him. Trust me, most guys are commitment phobic until things are explained to them in basic sort of format, then we tend to understand more.

The worrying part is the not wanting to introduce you to his parents or family, that suggests to me that he is hiding something but maybe I am reading into it too much. Its a natural part of the process I guess. If he did miss you over the two week period and got upset over everything, then he does feel something for you. Just explain to him that you are not trying to scare the bejaysus out of him but if he feels the same way as you (and I think he does), he just needs to express it.

Best of luck. I hope it works out for you.

ManOfMystery

Guys are usually simple and straightforward. If we like you, get on with you, and enjoy spending time with you, then we'll be with you.

I agree that this 'mysterious' reason he has for splitting up with you and ending a great relationship sounds very dubious, I'm inclined to think he's hiding something too.

LegacyUser

Guys thanks for the replies... I just had a notion...Who am I kidding here...he might like me but he doesn't like me enough to want me in his life...

You guys said he might be hiding something...maybe what he doesn't want to tell me is that he is just not feeling it? So he uses the good ol' I have been hurt I am not ready excuse?

What you think?

catratbat

I agree with the above. Blokes don't play games with girls they want to be with.

It takes guts to be mature as you were and ask him straight out.
On the other hand he isn't being gutsy with you.

Keep your distance, if he wants you, he knows where to find you...