What to do?!

LegacyUser

Here it goes anyway. Met a guy, got on better with him than with any guy I've ever met. Even looking back at my past relationships I've never clicked with someone so immediately. He has a girlfriend. So I'm having completely irrational thoughts of breaking them up. Cringe! I could never actually try and do it though, I could never be that kind of person.
It's hard to believe that we're not meant to be together though. How the heck do I move past this?! I feel like someone has removed my logical brain and replaced it with the brain of a crazy b*tch.

I assume there are people that have experienced this. How did you deal?

Firetrap

The main thing to do is not to do anything. Try to avoid meeting him as much as you can. Keep busy and try not to think about him. Other than that, I don't know. Hopefully with a bit of time your crush will fade and you will find it easier to be attracted to other men.

LegacyUser

Its happened to me a few times, most recently reminded of it last weekend.

Its horrible cos you do become irrational and generally hold nothing against the girl in question.

Step back and do not waste any more time on it. You will not break them up. Leave them in peace. In time the crazy feelings will dim.

LegacyUser

Thank you for the replies. Deep down I know I need to avoid him like the plague, and I know I'll get over it. It helps to hear that from other people though!

Wurly

Unregistered wrote: »

Thank you for the replies. Deep down I know I need to avoid him like the plague, and I know I'll get over it. It helps to hear that from other people though!

Exactly. You do know what to do!

If he's happy, then he' stay with his girl and you both were not meant to be.

And if you were meant to be, then he'l break up with his girlfriend and you's will get together.

Either way - do nothing. You wouldn't like it done on you. And if it's you he wants - its all the better letting him realise this himself.

Sit tight. Keep busy and go out with your friends. You'll move past it when you allow yourself to stop thinking about it. Replace the thoughts of him with other thoughts. It's that simple. Takes a bit of time though.

Good luck.

PK2008

Hmmm, loads of people will tell you to leave it alone cos thats the "right" thing to do, and being a bit idealistic myself i want to agree with that but in reality i know loads of people who have broken up with their other half to be with someone new and it didnt affect their new relationship at all- some of them even went on to marry.

Im not saying its right but then "right and wrong" can be very subjective

LegacyUser

PK2008 wrote: »

Hmmm, loads of people will tell you to leave it alone cos thats the "right" thing to do, and being a bit idealistic myself i want to agree with that but in reality i know loads of people who have broken up with their other half to be with someone new and it didnt affect their new relationship at all- some of them even went on to marry.

Im not saying its right but then "right and wrong" can be very subjective

people have broken up with their partners and gotten together with other people but it might be differend if someone sets out with the purpose of breaking them up

my advice would be to stay friends with him, dont make a move and try and not show you are attracted to him, maybe check out his girlfriend if you see them together you might have a better indication of how they are as a couple? but i know that if im meeting my boyfriends work friends there have been some girls really chilly towards me (like evil daggers and condescending looks that get me reeally paranoid and has made me think is there something going on? do they fancy him? does he fancy them?) be nice be friendly start to slightly distance but you can always keep in contact in case they break up

alternatively you can tell him how you feel some drunken night and not make a move but do the whole "i wish you were single cos ild be all over you like a pair of cycling shorts on a hot summers day" and make a joke then he knows how you feel and you have stayed classy by not making a move

just be careful of the lash back, if you broke them up and ye got together straight away it might be awkward if his parents loved his girlfriend, awkward!

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

Here it goes anyway. Met a guy, got on better with him than with any guy I've ever met. Even looking back at my past relationships I've never clicked with someone so immediately. He has a girlfriend. So I'm having completely irrational thoughts of breaking them up. Cringe! I could never actually try and do it though, I could never be that kind of person.
It's hard to believe that we're not meant to be together though. How the heck do I move past this?! I feel like someone has removed my logical brain and replaced it with the brain of a crazy b*tch.

I assume there are people that have experienced this. How did you deal?

Sorry but I don't buy into any of the previous advice.

Whether a guy or girl breaks up with the current is THEIR issue and THEIR responsibility - not any third party's.

You didn't mention how long he has been dating or whether he has shown any interest in you ?

If he has shown an interest then I see no problem with telling him you are interested, but not while he is dating someone else. Then leave the decision with him, for a reasonable period. That is a perfectly honorable situation.

If he has not shown an interest then it's not really an issue.

All the best.

MIN2511

hmm... Same situation as the OP now... Minding my own business now, remaining friends. Time will tell

rantyface

Happened to me. They didn't get along that well, although it was a very long relationship. They broke up. A few months later I made a move. He wants to marry me now and we're completely happy!

There's always hope, but don't interfere.

LegacyUser

OP here. I think he was acting inappropriately when we met ie just being way too flirty. As a friend of mine pointed out he would hook up with me but would not leave his girlfriend, which is what I was thinking too. I don't think so little of myself that I would allow that to happen. Needless to say he's gone down in my estimation.:)

MIN2511

Glad you found that out....

Live and learn!