Getting back to work after mental illness

LegacyUser

hi,


I've been off work for the last 3 months due to depression, i was really bad and ended up in st ita's of portrane for a stay (worst time ever). I'm due to go back to work next week and am really happy as I'm ready and able, it's a very well know company in Ireland.

the only thing that's freaking me out is what do i say to people..... would simply i was ill keep people at bay and stop nonsense office gossip?

I'm learning to control my paranoia with cognitive behavioural therapy but the thoughts of the first day back are daunting

thank you

JMULL

Tell them whatever you are comfortable with. Most people wont even be nosey enough to ask what was wrong with you, they would prob just ask if you are feeling better. You should not feel any shame though in telling them what was wrong with you, not your fault you were sick. If you were off with your back you would have no problem telling people. If stats you here are anything to go by then there is probably a few more people there that are suffering with the same thing is silence.

Abi

Unregistered wrote: »

hi,


I've been off work for the last 3 months due to depression, i was really bad and ended up in st ita's of portrane for a stay (worst time ever). I'm due to go back to work next week and am really happy as I'm ready and able, it's a very well know company in Ireland.

the only thing that's freaking me out is what do i say to people..... would simply i was ill keep people at bay and stop nonsense office gossip?

I'm learning to control my paranoia with cognitive behavioural therapy but the thoughts of the first day back are daunting

thank you

Firstly, well done. I've been in a similar situation, although there was no hurry for me to return to work. There was a time when I was so over-whelmed by what people thought of me, that I had begun to stay away from friends and family, day-to-day stuff like doing a little shopping became a horror. But I stuck with medication and counselling, and I feel a lot better off for it. The way I've handled it was; I owed nobody an explanation as to where I've been or what I'd gone through. But if somebody asked how I was feeling, I put it quite simply "Im fine, thanks for asking. If you don't mind so much, I'd rather not talk about it, I just want to get back on track", and smile. You spend enough time talking to your counsellor about this (and it is painful) without having to summarise for everyone who asks. Short and simple for work.

You will be fine, once you get past this first day you begin to feel more settled again

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

People in office situations never really pry into the in's and out's of your illness. If you don't want to tell them what was actually wrong, simply just shrug it off with "I'd a bad virus and it took an awful lot out of me..." and then moan about daytime tv or something. It worked for me when I was in a similar situation

People rarely ask you what was wrong to actually find out, it's more their way of showing their concern and that you were missed.

You'll be fine!!

cock robin

Sorry to hear you had some issues and great to hear your getting there. Tell the truth from day one. Telling porkies (lies) is not getting off to a good start. Mental health issues have been swept under the carpet for so long. You were brave enough to deal with your problem and have overcome it and are recovering. Thats something you should be proud of and it might in fact inspire others who may also have problems to follow your example. If my experience of large organisations is anything to go by most of them will be bonkers anyway

havana

I was off work for a while with anxiety and mile depression. More on and off than a long stint like you but i know it was obvious i was missing a good bit of work. While i didn't tell everyone the reasons i did tell a few people. I decided i had nothing to be ashamed of - if we have an issue with our physical health we rarely are embarrassed to tell people and i felt it should be the same with my mental health. In saying that i'm lucky in that i work in a very supportive environment where that kind of thing is not a taboo. Those i didn't tell really didn't question me, just asked how i was and hoped i was feeling better.

best of luck

The_Joker

Unregistered wrote: »

hi,I've been off work for the last 3 months ......

You sound like you have a good outlook on your situation which is the best possible thing you can have.
Along with your therapy you need positive reinforcment and that is best coming mostly from inside, if you have close understanding friends at work and they know your situation they will be a big stepping stone to help you get smoothly and comfortably back into the swing of things.
Always remember the therapy is there to help you and when you think you don't need it anymore be sure your therapist agrees with you.
In some respects it might feel like your first day at school or your first day in a new job, but at least you know the people there already, that part might be adding to your fearful expectation or anticipation this may of course add to any delusions of persecution but don't worry about what people might think these are very brave steps you are taking.
The stigma that used to follow any mental health issues is long gone, over the next few days before going back to work don't let your anxiety take over remember the good times you have had there and if you feel like talking about what you have been through do.
If someone genuine asks how you are, tell them, don't just bottle it up and leave it roll around in your mind. You will find people are more understanding than you think. And of course when you get through the first day smile about the fact that you have got over that hurdle, give yourself a pat on the back and reinforce the positive parts, after a while the negative feelings will fade and you will be back on top better than you ever were before.
I'd say 'best of luck' but luck doesn't come into it, keep as strong and as positive as you have been, look how far you have come!
Keep in touch with this thread and update your progress, it's good to read back and smile at how hard you thought it would be at the time.

Daithio

In a perfect world it would be nice to be able to be entirely open about mental health issues, but the fact of the matter is that the majority of people are still pretty ignorant about depression etc.

Tell them you had a really bad virus, the doctors weren't sure what it was, and that it totally knocked it out of you for the three months. They won't ask any further questions. I really don't see the point in being honest just for the sake of it. The last thing you want is to be getting paranoid about people walking on eggshells around you (even if they're not) etc.

Daithio

The_Joker wrote: »

You sound like you have a good outlook on your situation which is the best possible thing you can have.
Along with your therapy you need positive reinforcment and that is best coming mostly from inside, if you have close understanding friends at work and they know your situation they will be a big stepping stone to help you get smoothly and comfortably back into the swing of things.
Always remember the therapy is there to help you and when you think you don't need it anymore be sure your therapist agrees with you.
In some respects it might feel like your first day at school or your first day in a new job, but at least you know the people there already, that part might be adding to your fearful expectation or anticipation this may of course add to any delusions of persecution but don't worry about what people might think these are very brave steps you are taking.
The stigma that used to follow any mental health issues is long gone, over the next few days before going back to work don't let your anxiety take over remember the good times you have had there and if you feel like talking about what you have been through do.
If someone genuine asks how you are, tell them, don't just bottle it up and leave it roll around in your mind. You will find people are more understanding than you think. And of course when you get through the first day smile about the fact that you have got over that hurdle, give yourself a pat on the back and reinforce the positive parts, after a while the negative feelings will fade and you will be back on top better than you ever were before.
I'd say 'best of luck' but luck doesn't come into it, keep as strong and as positive as you have been, look how far you have come!
Keep in touch with this thread and update your progress, it's good to read back and smile at how hard you thought it would be at the time.

I know your response is well intentioned and all, but it is these sort of responses from workmates that would be horrible in a situation like this. All the soft talk and cliches will just make the OP paranoid that he/she is being treated differently.

The_Joker

Daithio wrote: »

I know your response is well intentioned and all, but it is these sort of responses from workmates that would be horrible in a situation like this. All the soft talk and cliches will just make the OP paranoid that he/she is being treated differently.

I don't know the OPs full personal or work background Daithio, I was giving a generalisation on other cases from a professional view.
The OP already has a fear of being treated differently.
Not all the approaches mentioned above are suited to every case.
By mentioning the possible negativity that may occur at work the OP will be walking on eggshells him/herself, highlighting every possible bad scenario is the worst thing that can be done.

CDfm

People are kinder than you think. I would think most people have an idea and will respect what happened and after a few days you will be part of the furniture again.

Miss_Moneypenny

Hi OP
Sorry to hear you were having mental health problems and glad to hear you are feeling up to work. This is my 2 cents: I can't imagine anyone coming out and asking you "Why were you out of work". I'd say that your workmates would just want to show their concern by asking you if you are better or how you are. In that case I would just say "I'm much better, thanks for asking" and leave it at that. If they ask what was wrong with you, you could always say "It's a bit sensitive / personal". I know we are all supposed to treat mental illness as any other illness, but in fairness, you shouldnt have to explain to anyone at work what precisely your ailment is - be that physical or mental / psychological. For example, lets say you were a woman and you were having gyne problems. You would probably not be comfortable discussing that with people you work with. You don't owe these people justifications or explanations for your absence.
All the best with your return to work.

zxcvbnm1

You could say you had back trouble.

That can keep people out of work for a long time i think.

BAsically you have to decide if you are going to lie about it or not.
Or else try to fob people off with vague half-truths. You could find yourslef under pressure if one work colleague does innocently ask more questions than you'd prefer thugh.

aidan24326

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

You could say you had back trouble.

That can keep people out of work for a long time i think.

BAsically you have to decide if you are going to lie about it or not.
Or else try to fob people off with vague half-truths. You could find yourslef under pressure if one work colleague does innocently ask more questions than you'd prefer thugh.

There's no need to invent illnesses, back problems, viruses or anything else.

What Miss_Moneypenny said is quite correct, you don't owe people a specific explanation. You were ill, simple as, it's a personal medical problem and not something you're obliged to share with people unless you really want to.

CDfm

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

You could say you had back trouble.

That can keep people out of work for a long time i think.

BAsically you have to decide if you are going to lie about it or not.
Or else try to fob people off with vague half-truths. You could find yourslef under pressure if one work colleague does innocently ask more questions than you'd prefer thugh.

I dont think anyone will ask and those who know will be too discreet to ask.

After a few days people will get used to you being around and in a short time it will be natural.

If pressed just say -its private and I would prefer not to talk about it & leave it at that. Anyone who asks further just say again - as I told you etc.

Ghost Girl

I see some comments there about just being open and honest and telling the truth.

Firstly you don't need to tell any one any thing, say what you like.

Secondly, unfortunately in this day and age you are judged when you have a mental illness. Some people can pretend to be open about the subject but they are not. And while there are employment laws in place to protect employees, believe it or not, depending on the type of boss you have, it may be a problem in the workplace.

Its absolutely disgracefull I know, but i know people who've told their boss the truth, and eventually it went against them. I've seen people being treated differently because of it.

Yes many employers are good about this kind of thing, some don't even bat an eyelid, but some do!! If you work place is open to this kind of thing then off you go, say what you like. Personally I wouldnt lie, Id just say I was sick - end of story.

After your first day you will be fine, and I know worrying about your first day back isn't helpful, so stop worrying, just make up your mind on what you are going to say and stick to it. Just remember, we're not all as open as we like to think we are.