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GF advice

  • 01-06-2009 5:30pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    ok here goes...just really wanna get a feel for what you guys think about this...prob not a huge problem in relation to lots of the stuff in here but its bugging me

    anyways ive been going out with my GF for 2 months..im 20 and shes just going 18. we are both in the same class in college (just finished 1st year) and shes going away in a few days for the whole summer...but thats not the problem

    basically it seems to me at times that she dusnt wanna spend her time with me when were out with all our friends...she says that she just doesnt want to spend all her time with me cause we hang out on our own loads...but like theres been times when we've barely even spoke when we've been out with all our mates (not for my lack of trying)!! she just seems disinterested...and the one thing we said when we started going out was that we were always gonna be friends ahead of BF and GF because we were becoming best friends before we went out...

    things were great and only seemed to be starting to change about 2 weeks ago...just wondering do you think its a case of her thinking the honeymoon period is over and were not spending loadsa time together anymore, or could it be that shes just still a little bit immature when it comes to relationships...cause i know that when i was 17 my friends always played a bigger part than my GF did...

    any input/ideas on topic are very welcome


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    sunflower27 wrote: »
    barely talking all night is really extreme and rude!

    I'd be really hurt if a partner did that to me.

    So she knows how you feel and she doesnt care?

    see in a way i kinda get where shes coming from...were gonna be hanging out loads on our own in the few days before she goes away and she wants to get as much time in with friends...and i know shes not ignoring me on purpose...i know a few of my other friends have suggested that it is just a simple case of immaturity...

    and yes she knows how i feel and yes she does care and she knows shes upsetting me but she doesnt see that shes doing anything wrong....


  • #3
    dirtydress
    Closed Accounts Posts: 356 ✭✭dirtydress


    Do you think maybe she's bothered that you spend time alone and then you also go out with the same friends? Maybe she would like to have some time with her friends alone and is just going about telling you the wrong way?


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    dirtydress wrote: »
    Do you think maybe she's bothered that you spend time alone and then you also go out with the same friends? Maybe she would like to have some time with her friends alone and is just going about telling you the wrong way?

    see the thing is were all just one big group of friends...so thats really not possible...our whole class just hang out so all my college friends are her college friends...she doesnt seem to hang out much with her own friends and im the same with mine


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'd say this could be your issue more than hers. Me and my OH both like the space to enjoy our nights on a night out - we'll link up and talk and so on but we're not attached at the hands the whole night. Some people (like me) find that kind of constant attention suffocating and my guess is she's the same. If so, that's the way she is and if you insist on clinging on to her at all times you'll probably just piss her off and might risk ruining the whole relationship.


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Unregistered wrote: »
    I'd say this could be your issue more than hers. Me and my OH both like the space to enjoy our nights on a night out - we'll link up and talk and so on but we're not attached at the hands the whole night. Some people (like me) find that kind of constant attention suffocating and my guess is she's the same. If so, that's the way she is and if you insist on clinging on to her at all times you'll probably just piss her off and might risk ruining the whole relationship.

    ok firstly nights out have nothing to do with it cause she doesnt come out with us normally on nights out....secondly i am not at all suffocating or clingy...im happy to give her space...but surely theres only a certain amount i can give her before she realises that is upsets me??? (she hasnt realised this yet though)


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