Advice on BI relationship

LegacyUser

Hi I'm a BI girl in my twentys and i have been seeing a girl for a couple of months.I'm in the closet and i'm not ready (dont think i will) to come out. The thing is i dont want a relationship with her and as the days and weeks go on i find it harder to get rid of her.All i want is to fool around as i am not the commitment time person. I have tried to break it off with her before but each time she starts crying and i then feel sorry for her.I was attracted to her at the start but now there is just no spark there anymore.PLEASE HELP! What should i do?

Gamer69

First things first, in my opinion that girl is a clinger. I have a friend who has tried on numerous occassions to break up with his girlfriend, but he comes back to me with the same excuse everytime "She cried at me so I felt bad."
This is RIDICULOUS! (sorry for the caps, had to get my point across)

By no means am I a relationship expert, but you shouldn't feel bad if she starts crying, she has obviously invested more feelings in this than you have. That being said, you yourself should not be without blame, you should have made your feelings clear at the start saying you didnt want anything serious and just to fool around a bit for a while.

So final word, you need to talk to her, if she cries (which she probably will since she now know it works to her advantage) you just have to work through and try not to feel bad. If she harrasses you with texts or phone calls then block her number so she cant get through to your phone. That is if you dont want to remain friends.

Good luck, and be gentle.

Boston

Link her to this post. Its extremely harsh, but at least there's no ambiguity in your comments here.

LegacyUser

The man I am drawn to is bisexual and I don't know anything about that lifestyle, just the rumours one hears, and from recently reading some excellent posts on the web.

I would like to hear from genuine, decent bi people what to expect, what it is reasonable for me to ask of him, what to be careful of - assuming it's any different from a "usual" type relationship. I want to learn, so that this has a chance to work out, so we can both find peace and happiness.

In particular I want to know how to ask him about his HIV status, because he has been in some high risk relationships. I will find the right way to ask if he's "healthy", but I guess I will always be scared unless I have proof that he actually IS healthy. I feel bad for my lack of trust but neither of us is babies (I'm 41 and he's 50). We have been seeing each other for 6 months with no physical contact yet - I think I'm projecting some fears and he's holding off as a result. We need to have the "chat" and soon, but how do I ask him for proof, or even know if he really actually knows his HIV status... I don't want to insult him or hurt his feelings by not taking him at his word if he just says he's healthy. We both need to know for sure for this work out, either way.

Aurora Borealis

She may be upset at first or even for some time but ultimately no one wants to be in a one-sided relationship so hold your ground and do yourself and her a favour and maybe you'll both find someone more suitable.