Not going to see her for 3 months :(

LegacyUser

Hello guys. Ill cut to the chase. Ive come to San Francisco for the summer and left behind this girl Ive been seeing since the end of February. In the last couple of weeks we were together, we became really close, and just as I was starting to fall for her, summer comes.

I told her that if I wasnt coming to America for the summer and if she wasnt going to France (for 9 weeks as an au pair) that Id have asked her out. She said she'd have said yes. So now Im here in San Fran, not home until middle of August, at which stage she'll still be in France. She was the one that suggested that I get a flight out to see her for 2 days (shes get 2 days off a week) once I get home from America and of course I agreed. I really miss her

The question I have, is what advice can you guys offer me in terms of keeping this flame alive. We've already decided that we'll both have Skype to talk to each other and have sexytime, we've both agreed so send each other little presents from America and France etc etc.

This girl never cried over a guy leaving until she met me. I really got through to her like no other guy. Im doing my best to remain positive and attract the outcome that I desire (that the flame will keep going, and that we'll pick things up where we left off in August).

Ive a letter written but not sent and Im going to throw a bracelet into the package aswell, saying that Ill wear mine and you wear yours and everytime I look at mine, Ill think of you and vice versa.

I really like this girl and want to be with her. Ive promised myself that if we make it to August, Ill ask her out in France.

So ya, tips and advice on how much to correspond with her, how to act, what not to say (stuff thatd drive her away).
Anyone been in this position before?
Thanks guys
__________________

tolteq

yep. but more of a long dist r/ship. didnt last. though am friends with the girl

kev_s88

im in a kinda similar situation...but not really

been going out with my GF for 2 months and shes going off to Italy next tuesday for 2 1/2 months...im gonna miss her like crazy and i know shes the same...i really like your ideas bout staying together and how to keep the relationship going...unfortunately i dont have any help but i really hope it works out for you

muboop1

sadboy wrote: »

Hello guys. Ill cut to the chase. Ive come to San Francisco for the summer and left behind this girl Ive been seeing since the end of February. In the last couple of weeks we were together, we became really close, and just as I was starting to fall for her, summer comes.

I told her that if I wasnt coming to America for the summer and if she wasnt going to France (for 9 weeks as an au pair) that Id have asked her out. She said she'd have said yes. So now Im here in San Fran, not home until middle of August, at which stage she'll still be in France. She was the one that suggested that I get a flight out to see her for 2 days (shes get 2 days off a week) once I get home from America and of course I agreed. I really miss her

The question I have, is what advice can you guys offer me in terms of keeping this flame alive. We've already decided that we'll both have Skype to talk to each other and have sexytime, we've both agreed so send each other little presents from America and France etc etc.

This girl never cried over a guy leaving until she met me. I really got through to her like no other guy. Im doing my best to remain positive and attract the outcome that I desire (that the flame will keep going, and that we'll pick things up where we left off in August).

Ive a letter written but not sent and Im going to throw a bracelet into the package aswell, saying that Ill wear mine and you wear yours and everytime I look at mine, Ill think of you and vice versa.

I really like this girl and want to be with her. Ive promised myself that if we make it to August, Ill ask her out in France.

So ya, tips and advice on how much to correspond with her, how to act, what not to say (stuff thatd drive her away).
Anyone been in this position before?
Thanks guys
__________________

hey dude.
This is one i have done, although slightly different to you when it came to the actual summer.

I'll explain my situation!
i started seeing a girl in early Feb, and it was all just fun, like you i was heading to California for summer. similarly she was going to Chicago for 2 months.

in total we werent to see eachother for 14 weeks.

We decided not to go out.
It was clear the reason.
I even had the whole convo about how i would go out with you but i can't due to the summer etc...
Anyway the closer it got to the time, the more i fell for her.
By the end we were essentially going out, yet not. We were free for the summer etc...

Summer came and i headed off. She wrote me off, I decided i liked her to much to not give it a go sometime.

So i just kept myself in the game! i text her or MSN'ed her every couple of weeks, just when i felt i wanted to. Never obsessively. I was a busy boy enjoying my summer and all that.

Yet i was myself when i talked to her, and she tells me it kept me on her mind! And also unburdened. She could score other people and so could I, and so we did. For we had no commitment to each other nor a promise of one.

The closest we had was me telling her one evening that i hope we have a chance when we get back some time in may before we had gone on holidays.

We arrived back in Ireland and i asked her on a date...
Shes my GF since.

Now, the main thing here is you have to accept she will of scored other lads etc while away. You have to be able to realise you have no commitment(if iv read that post correctly anyway).

I dont know if that speal is of any help to you.
I guess im trying to say you are young, if you have no committment enjoy ur summer! You can do both, enjoy it and keep her in the game.

Dont sleep with people if you dont want to, but still kiss ppl and live it up. Don't spend it wishing she was there, just hope things will be nice when u get back!
The summer will change you and her to.
Hopefully you will still click!

But dont spend all holiday pining because she isnt there. As i said its a long time and you might regret it. Keep yourself in the game by a text now and then or a phone call every week or 2. Dont go overboard.

Then try pick it up when u go home/over to visit her.

If you try to hard, you will kill it.
It should never be a requirement to contact her, it should be what u want to do.(bar emergencies or special occasions or whatever)

So do what you want.
If you want to contact her do. If you dont, dont!
Nothing will keep it alive like you just being yourself and letting her see that.

Same situation, but my boyfriend is away for a whole year. We were seeing each other and trying not to let things get too serious as he was going away (other side of the world), we thought we'd just pick up where we left off etc etc. Well about a week after he left, he said he really wanted to try a long distance thing, he had no interest in anyone but me and I felt the same. It's far from ideal but I knew I had to give it a go. He's been away nearly 6 months now and I've seen him once, for 10 days. It actually isn't as bad as I thought it would be - we can Skype loads, e-mail every day and we still have our own space and lives so we're not stuck to each other. I honestly don't think 2-3 months is long at all, and I think it's worth giving it a go. It doesn't mean your summer will be ruined, you don't need to score randomers to have fun! I go out all the time and have loads of friends here, and my bf does the same over there. It isn't THAT much of a sacrifice.

As for how to act, just be yourself, be open and honest about what you want and your intentions. No huge declarations of love or anything like that, but make it clear you're really into her and are looking forward to seeing her in France.

LegacyUser

Well the logic behind my reasoning for not asking her out was that trying to maintain a proper relationship of 3 months would be very trying and difficult in my opinion. But now Im thinking maybe she wants to score other lads etc, Im not really sure if I could without feeling bad. Like we were going out in all but name if you get me. Holding hands, seeing each other every day. Im thinking maybe I should have had this convo with her before I left, what you guys think?



Thanks alot for the replys btw, they instill hope in me!

LegacyUser

Nope. If she didn't bring it up, then it's not an issue with her.
My boyfriend asked me out 2 wks before we went away for the summer - him to San Fran, me to New York - for 3 months. It was difficult, and when I think back now I wonder how on earth we managed! But we did and 6 years later are still going strong. It will pass, just keep in contact as much as possible. It's only 3 months (and enjoy SF, I absolutely love that city. You'll have a fantastic summer!). Show her you're interested, that you don't want to break up, that you'll be there when she's back. Contact is essential; good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine

muboop1

Unregistered wrote: »

Well the logic behind my reasoning for not asking her out was that trying to maintain a proper relationship of 3 months would be very trying and difficult in my opinion. But now Im thinking maybe she wants to score other lads etc, Im not really sure if I could without feeling bad. Like we were going out in all but name if you get me. Holding hands, seeing each other every day. Im thinking maybe I should have had this convo with her before I left, what you guys think?



Thanks alot for the replys btw, they instill hope in me!

tbh, i dont think you should be trying to maintain a particular type of relationship!
Just do what comes naturally to you.

She didnt not get with you so she could score, but at same time she likely isnt going to not score someone due to a potential guy she might never get with or hear from again in 3 months.

You just need to remember if she scores someone
It prob wont mean anything.

My gf was actually scoring a lad for a while... bothered me a touch if we are honest, not cos she scored someone, random i could deal with bt cos she liked him a bit!
But in end, she is with me, she likes me more!

Look, if your sit i'd just limit what you do. I didnt sleep with people, she didnt either. I can get past all the rest...

How i looked at it!

Its not to easy but u have to realise it now so you can start to accept it.

And you may not want to now, i didnt at first either, i even remember first girl i kissed not being impressed cos she wasnt the girl i waned to be kissing... but i got over it.

In the end you have to realise that in 3 months you will be a different person and so will she. You may never be something, although it feels right now, in 3 months it could be you saying no to her, could be someone else u met on holidays or just dont click again. So im not saying get over her. But dont be to expectant. Do what is right for you. I'f you find someone you want to kiss, do. If you don't, don't!

Its a very good guide for life in general tbh... dont do what you dont want to.

Play it by ear, give her a text ever couple of weeks. or call if you are there.

Its to late now to ask if you can both kiss eachother etc... boat has sailed.

Just enjoy your holiday!
The rest will fall into place!

kev_s88

look i think its as simple as this...if its meant to be, you will last the 3 months no matter what you're situation is...if you feel like you want to be able to spend the summer saying your in a relationship and be comfortable with that then say that to her and ask her out...if you feel it would be easier to be friends then say that...if you wanna stay friends for the time being but dont want her scoring other people then tell her that....all you have to do is tell her how you feel about it all and see what she wants and work from there...do what feels the most comfortable and the most natural to you and everything will be fine!!

my GF asked me out 2 months ago knowing that she would be spending the whole summer in Italy and we are so happy together and we know the summer will be no object to us going out...we know that we will be happier than ever when she comes back.....as they say "absence makes the heart grow fonder"