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How can I get this out of my head?

  • 28-05-2009 1:04pm
    #1
    jessicaxox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭


    right basicly i dont want to get into the whole story but a few months back i had a miscarrige..me and my boyfriend both really wanted the baby and obvious were both very upset to be fair i did start to push him away i just a wanted to be in my own little bubble protected from everyone in the fear that i would get even more hurt in doing that my bf began to seek comfort from a friend who had never liked me..and she began to try nd get close to him anyway on a few weeks on and he brought me underwear for xams and got her to try it on...i knw he loves me and it was a mistake but i just cant get him nd her outa my head what do i do?? i love im to bits and dnt want to lose him but its jst so hard..!


Comments

  • #2
    Barracudaincork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Barracudaincork


    First of all Im so sorry to hear of your loss. There are no words of comfort i can offer that will help as you will of heard them a million times at this stage, but i am truly sorry to hear of your sad loss.

    When you say "seek comfort" did he cheat on you or did he just chat with this friend?

    How did you find out she tried the stuff on and why did she try it on? Did he see it on her?

    To be honest we need more info if we can help you.


  • #3
    Wurly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    jessicaxox wrote: »
    right basicly i dont want to get into the whole story but a few months back i had a miscarrige..me and my boyfriend both really wanted the baby and obvious were both very upset to be fair i did start to push him away i just a wanted to be in my own little bubble protected from everyone in the fear that i would get even more hurt in doing that my bf began to seek comfort from a friend who had never liked me..and she began to try nd get close to him anyway on a few weeks on and he brought me underwear for xams and got her to try it on...i knw he loves me and it was a mistake but i just cant get him nd her outa my head what do i do?? i love im to bits and dnt want to lose him but its jst so hard..!

    When you say that he started to seek comfort in this other girl - did anything happen between them both?

    How did you find out that he got the other girl to try on the underwear? Besides how you found out - that's is unforgivable in my book.

    Miscarraiges are tricky... Firstly, i'm sorry it happened to you and I hope you're alright... He might not have known how to deal with it and how to be there for you. When it happened to me, my boyfriend at the time kept denying it happened at all. Which of course, was less than helpful.

    If he sook comfort in a friend, in an innocent way, then there is really nothing wrong with that.

    The underwear thing though... I would not be happy about that and I can understand why its now playing on your mind.

    Can you answer my two questions above so I can get a better understanding of what happened? Thanks.


  • #4
    jessicaxox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭jessicaxox


    no nothingphysical actully happened as far as i knw they just spoke about it..my bf told me himself what had happened a few weeks later well i had to it draged it outa him but i nearly wish that he hada just went with her and that was it rather than all the things that was said between them...i know that he was just confussed and hurting to i don't blame him...its just hard to forget about it


  • #5
    Barracudaincork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Barracudaincork


    I really think you have nothing to worry about regarding your boyfriend and this girl.

    IMHO i think you are seeing or thinking something that isnt there, the reason why i think you are doing this is because you have suffered a big loss and it hurt you. I bet you never thought losing your baby would happen to you but it did and it hurts. You then start thinking the same regarding your boyfriend, you doubt everything and you think everything will hurt you. What your feeling is normal but not realistic.

    The only person who can get these images out of your head is you, once you realise that they are only there because you are thinking worst case scenario in a bid to protect your heart again, then you can start erasing those images from your head and get back to being you before your loss.

    I wish you nothing but the best!


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