What's the stupidest question you've ever been asked in work?

homerun_homer

I just got one this morning from a UK Account Manager. Someone who gets paid an absolute mint to do feic all the work that is done in our Irish office, and then get loads of commission on top of it.

I'm looking through the queries and there is this question from him basically asking if today's date is within the 90 day expiry period of March 4th.

I had to bite my tongue in response, how can you not work this stuff out for yourself??

Anyone heard anything as dumb?

Endaaaagh

I work in a warehouse and I once had someone come up to me and ask me for "one of those....square (makes square gesture with hands)....wooden...things"


The correct answer was or course...A Pallet!

Professey Chin

Claims supervisor: "Could you come take a look at my PC? The message said the update would only take 5 minutes but its been almost an hour"
so I take a wander down to have a look.
Me: " Did you OK where it says "Click OK to being installation"?
CS: "No? Was I supposed to?" :rolleyes:

I wish I was lying about that and the stupid bint earns over double what I do

mathie

homerun_homer wrote: »

I just got one this morning from a UK Account Manager. Someone who gets paid an absolute mint to do feic all the work that is done in our Irish office, and then get loads of commission on top of it.

I'm looking through the queries and there is this question from him basically asking if today's date is within the 90 day expiry period of March 4th.

I had to bite my tongue in response, how can you not work this stuff out for yourself??

Anyone heard anything as dumb?

Eh all you had to do was answer my question?

Now get back to work I've web surfing to do!

Jet Black

Working in a supermarket packing the dog food, some guy walks up to me and says 'wheres your dog food' I did not say anything just pointed at the shelf, he said 'aright'

Sleipnir

During an office move, the question of where Bloomberg was going to go came up and was discussed.
Until one of the Directors (100K+) says;
"Why all the talk about where this Mr. Bloomberg is going to sit? Who is he anyway?"

Vain

How much is this?

Me: 2euro, everything is 2euro thats why its called the 2euro store:pac:

petes

Do you work here?

Jet Black

I was working in a currency exchance a couple of years ago and the amount of people that came in saying they were going to spain and need spanish euros.

blackbox

Sleipnir wrote: »

During an office move, the question of where Bloomberg was going to go came up and was discussed.
Until one of the Directors (100K+) says;
"Why all the talk about where this Mr. Bloomberg is going to sit? Who is he anyway?"

...well - don't keep us waiting....

...Who is Bloomberg?

abouttobebanned

when i worked in waterford crystal a few years ago I was asked on more than one occasion "If I drop the crystal...will ir break?"

LouOB

Sleipnir wrote: »

During an office move, the question of where Bloomberg was going to go came up and was discussed.
Until one of the Directors (100K+) says;
"Why all the talk about where this Mr. Bloomberg is going to sit? Who is he anyway?"

Alot of people dont need to work with Bloomberg terminal - hence you needed to explain it more (Bloomberg terminal - used for pricing shares).

But a person in a directorial position not knowing who Bloomberg is?
Well, they are obviously a non-exec director (probably food science backround):P

CreepingDeath

Many, many years ago this middle aged manager guy called me because his PC kept shutting down when he tried starting it.

He was hitting the "on" button twice quickly (once for on, twice for off ) :rolleyes:

Sleipnir

LouOB wrote: »

Alot of people dont need to work with Bloomberg terminal - hence you needed to explain it more (Bloomberg terminal - used for pricing shares).

But a person in a directorial position not knowing who Bloomberg is?
Well, they are obviously a non-exec director (probably food science backround):P

You're right, sorry. He was the financial director.

When we were discussing the costs of out Disaster Recovery site, the same guy suggested we keep our DR server next to our live servers. In the same room I mean.

AnonoBoy

Worked in a coffee shop once and had this woman come in most days, use the toilet and leave. I didn't really care enough to say anything to her as she sometimes bought a coffee too.

One day she wanders in, goes to the bathrooms and comes back immediately, marches up to the counter and says "There's somebody in the toilet."

I just looked blankly at her and replied "Yes?"

In her most indignant tone she comes back with "Well.... what am I supposed to do?"


Also back in 2,000 direction I worked in a web server place and one day a woman whose computer training company had their site hosted with us rang up and said her friend in Limerick had tried to look at their site and couldn't see it. She wanted to know whether this was because they were on a different internet down in Limerick.

Two weeks later this same woman had expanded her company to include web design. What with her knowing everything about the internet and all that. :rolleyes:

homerun_homer

AnonoBoy wrote: »

In her most indignant tone she comes back with "Well.... what am I supposed to do?"

Give her a coffee cup and point her to the nearest alley.

Pyr0

"How do I left click with my mouse ?" or "How do I right click with my mouse ?"

A guy I work with got a guy on call saying he couldn't see his house on google maps and is there anything we can do to help. He was so close to saying "Sure, walk outside and wave at the sky I'll check google maps and see if I spot you"

TequilaMockingBird

Not work related, but...

I was once standing outside a shopping centre. A bloke came up and asked us "Is this the shopping centre?"

I replied "er...yes."

He asked "How big is it?"

I still wonder what he expected. The square footage of the entire shopping centre? The exact number of shops?

I said "um.. big enough?"

Slow Motion

Used to work on a team that generated reports for the business, they put in the paramaters and the report pulls the info from the database, A manager rang my mate and insisted he create a report that would tell her all the appointments she would get next week, in between fits of laughter our manager suggested that she try the psychics hotline instead!

bottletops

I've had "Do you know who I am?" a few times.

(In fairness once it was the minister for children in Oz who said this, and I refused to allow her access to a file on a network share cause she had to fill in the form and get her manager to sign it!)

... Well if she'd actually told me who she was instead of asking.... :rolleyes:

omb0wyn5ehpij9

While working in a very small shopping centre, a lady comes up to me and asks "How do you get out of this shopping centre?". The direction she had come from to ask the question she had had a perfect view of the large 8 exit doors :rolleyes:

anniehoo

Overheard this in work one day
Student: how can i measure a litre (holding a graduated cylinder that went up to 900ml)

Principal tech of 30 years: ummm...i dont know you'll have to go get a litre of water and measure it that way

Student: oh right k thanks

I nearly banged my head off the wall when i heard this. The principal lab tech gets paid €65k!!!:eek::eek:

Quint

A guy asked me "how does this work?". It was a stapler

mercuroman

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Also back in 2,000 direction I worked in a web server place and one day a woman whose computer training company had their site hosted with us rang up and said her friend in Limerick had tried to look at their site and couldn't see it.

I like this - I'm going to start doing this with dates, I think it'll give me an edge. What's the date? 28th May 2,009

FionaC

I got asked if you use upper or lower case for typing in the number 6?

Hmmmmmm

Nothing to do with me or work but this is so stupid I need say it.

I was watching an old ep of who wants to be a millionare, it was a father and daughter episode. One of the low 000's question was: what percentage is 4/5; 20%, 40%, 80% or 90%. Between the two of them they had to ask the audience :eek:!!

homerun_homer

FionaC wrote: »

I got asked if you use upper or lower case for typing in the number 6?

Hmmmmmm

Duh - Upper case!! Sheesh :rolleyes:

*adopts Cletus voice*
Clearly this person has never used a 'puter letter board before.

AnonoBoy

mercuroman wrote: »

I like this - I'm going to start doing this with dates, I think it'll give me an edge. What's the date? 28th May 2,009

Oh yeah, all the cool kids are writing the year like that now. Haven't you heard?

mercuroman

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Oh yeah, all the cool kids are writing the year like that now. Haven't you heard?

Must be doing it on a different internet to me:(

LightningBolt

Working in a restaurant I was asked what was the difference between a chicken burger and a chicken salad by a 50yr old woman.:rolleyes:

Turd Ferguson

Me: Are you at your computer?
Them: I dont have a computer, I dont like them things. Do i need to have a computer for the broadband?

t-ha

Visiting colleague from South Africa (has hired help etc. at home in SA), while holding two slices of bread: "Do you know how to make these into toast?"

He's about 40yr old btw.

ejmaztec

I asked a stupid question after I started working for some provincial newspaper.

One important factor had been puzzling me. During two interviews, "holidays" weren't mentioned, and I didn't mention them either, in case they found out that I was more interested in them than doing any work.

I discovered within about half an hour of starting that everybody there hated the owners with a vengeance, mainly because they were all treated like sh1t; the atmosphere was concrete.

I said to one guy "What holidays do they give you in this feckin place?"

"I don't know" he replied, "I don't think anybody's been here long enough to find out."

I never found out either, because I fecked off out of that hell-hole two weeks later.:D

battser

On numerous occasions I have to go up to people and they tell me I cant get my keyboard to work. They are wireless. Everytime I just go this switch here has to be in the on position!

GlindaGale

I was working at the premiere for the movie Australia when a woman approached me and asked, "Is that a film about Africa or something?"

Paparazzo

Worked in a deli in america and a customer asked what size is a medium coffee and what is a large. I held up the 2 cups and he asked which one is the large

admiralofthefleet

Vain wrote: »

How much is this?

Me: 2euro, everything is 2euro thats why its called the 2euro store:pac:

what about the 2 for €3 stuff, like the large bottles of lucozade

allabouteve

From a person with a science degree:

''How do you spell 'off' ? One f or two?''

Nervous Wreck

The most irritating question I'm constantly asked in work is "Do you know where the toilet is?" ..........?! What am I gonna say? "Nope, I'm as stumped as you mate."

connundrum

*Ring Ring*

Reception: Hi Dave, I just wanted to check what extension you're on.

Me: Really...?

Rec: Yeah, I just have to double check everyone on the 1st floor.

Me: I'd say it'd be similar to the number you just rang me on.

Rec: ... and what was that again?

Me: Facepalm

Hauk

I used to do broadband support for a certain ISP, and I've heard loads.

One particular one that this thread reminded me of was:

Woman rings up all panicked.

Woman: "Hello?? Hello??"
Me: "Yes?"
Woman: "There's a hacker in my computer!!"
Me: "Oh right ok. Well, we'll switch off your router and turn off your computer and then he won't be there anymore. Then when the routers off we'll do a virus scan and see if we can pick up anything."

*Woman goes off and turns off computer. Router is switched off.*

Me: "Okay, he's not in the computer anymore."
Woman: "Yes he is!" Woman getting aggressive now.
Me: "No he isn't in the computer, the router is off."
Woman: "That doesn't matter he's still there."
Me: "He can't be there because there is no signal to the router, so there is no internet connection in."
Woman: "He's coming down the phone line to the computer."
Me: *facepalm*
Me: "Look he can't be there, we've unplugged everything so there's no power to the computer."
Woman: "That's not true, he's accessing my files."
Me: <A few minutes of me arguing with her>
Me: "Look he's not there, there's no power, there is no way he is there."
Woman: "You don't seem to have a clue, I think he's bugged the phones."
Me: ... .... ...
Me: "Eh yeah. I'd get your computer checked, we didn't supply it. KTHXBAI."

That went on for an hour.

I'm glad I quit that job.

Lollipops23

this happened to my mate,we work in the same shop.
*woman wanders out of the lift*
"Excuse me love, where's the lift?"

also,
"Is this E2.99?"]
said while pointing at a price tag that said E2.99

connemara man

my boss walked into my office less then a week after i started and asked the simple little question of "what do you do"

Kai

Several years ago i worked in tech support for an internet company. Heres a few that stood out above the usual stupid ones:
[1] Me: Ok sir i think we can fix your connection problem. Can you close all your open windows and return to your desktop.
Customer: {long pause} Ok ive closed all the ones downstairs do i need to close the upstairs windows too.

[2] Spent 40 minutes trying to install the application on a customers computer over the phone. The CD wouldnt work but all her other cds would work. I had a sudden bad feeling:
Me: Sir are you putting the disc in shiny side down?
User: No.
Me: OK and do you put all your other discs in shiny side down?
User: Yes.
Me: ............ And why do you put our disc in the opposite way?
User: I dunno i thought they went in differently.
Me: {headbuts the desk, and it hurts}

[3]
Customer : I have a CD but i dont know if my computer has a cd drive.
Me: {spends 15 ****ing minutes trying to explain what a cd drive looks like}.... ok can you just turn your machine on and then press all the buttons at the front and see if anything looks like what i described.
Customer: No the only thing i can see is the floppy drive and the Cup holder.
Me: Cup holder?
Customer: Yea this slidy out cup holder thing i put my coffee on.
Me: ..............{head buts the desk, and it hurts}

RHunce

AnonoBoy wrote: »

She wanted to know whether this was because they were on a different internet down in Limerick.

mercuroman wrote: »

I like this - I'm going to start doing this with dates, I think it'll give me an edge. What's the date? 28th May 2,009

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Oh yeah, all the cool kids are writing the year like that now. Haven't you heard?

mercuroman wrote: »

Must be doing it on a different internet to me:(

well at least we know now that maybe they are doing it on a different internet haha

Hauk

@Kai: Number [3] in your list is an old one.

Squiggle

LightningBolt wrote: »

Working in a restaurant I was asked what was the difference between a chicken burger and a chicken salad by a 50yr old woman.:rolleyes:

lol Over heard a guy ordering the John Johns of chicken in a restaurant - on my menu it said Goujons :pac:

Dennis the Stone

Squiggle wrote: »

lol Over heard a guy ordering the John Johns of chicken in a restaurant - on my menu it said Goujons :pac:

:pac:

Tigger

its a tie

when i'm sweeping the floor / driving the forklift in the store and people as "do you work here?"

or when i was porking a workmate once and the supervisor asked me what i was doing

goldieladee

When I was in sixth year, the girl I had to sit beside asked me how to spell
'G.A.A' because she was writing an essay on sport....

I don't think she went to college!