OH putting you on speaker phone.

LegacyUser

What do people feel about their OH putting them on speaker phone.

I can't see bf during weekends & we sometimes have very long conversations 1-2 hours which is really a way of spending time together, we could be watching a programme together or checking out things online or pottering about.
Occasionally you have the other on speaker to do something hands free. I always is this ok before I do.

However, occassionally my bf calls and within a few minutes I realise he's put me on speaker without asking & hear the pc going on.
I find this rude and I've asked him on occassion to take me off speaker as it is hard to hear anyway which he has no problem with. He's also prone to logging on pc while we are together which I think is rude too as your basically ignoring the person beside & you're off doing something for yourself. If is work that has to be done or a quick check fine.

Are we all addicted to our pcs ?

Stheno

If I'm in work in my office (i sit on my own in an office) and am on the phone to almost anyone I will often put them on speaker, and will usually ask them.

I tend not to at home though. I don't really see what you problem is as you say if you ask him to take you off speaker he does?

As for being on the pc when you are together, well it depends imo how much time you are spending together. If you are spending lots of nights together during the week, and are going out and doing coupley things during that time, and he takes some "me" time by doing stuff on his pc then I'd not have a problem with it.

Personally I'd be similiar if I spend a lot of time with my bf and will often log onto my pc/read a book/go out on my own, just to get some time to myself, no offence is intended to him, I just like my personal time, and he knows this, and is fine with it, much as he goes out with his mates several times a week on his own, spends time on his pc, or chats to his mates on the phone, just because I am around I don't really expect him to put his life on hold tbh

Maybe you should chat to your bf about both of these issues?

LegacyUser

No sure I do mention it and it's not a big issue. We could spend 3 full days together and you can't expect him not to have to do certain things. However I myself tend to leave my emails and things I might check at home until I get home even though he always asks me if I want to use his pc - maybe I should be more like him. I do think it is rude not to ask before you put someone on speaker though, we are different I guess.

Nervous Wreck

True story:

A friend of mine last year rang her fiancee on his mobile and thought she'd have a laugh. "I can't f*cking believe you," she said. He hadn't a clue what she was talking about so she elaborated. "I can't believe you wouldn't have sex with me before you left this morning!" The response she got? "Eh honey, I'm in the car with my boss and you're on speaker phone...." "........ I have to go."

Always. Ask. First.

Africa

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

True story:

A friend of mine last year rang her fiancee on his mobile and thought she'd have a laugh. "I can't f*cking believe you," she said. He hadn't a clue what she was talking about so she elaborated. "I can't believe you wouldn't have sex with me before you left this morning!" The response she got? "Eh honey, I'm in the car with my boss and you're on speaker phone...." "........ I have to go."

Always. Ask. First.

That just made my day!

Always ask. I often use the hands free but the person at the other end should always ask!

But yeah when i am in front of the pc or something i often do two things at one.

cafecolour

Tell him to get a hands-free headset.

If you go online or watch telly together while talking, he's probably just used to doing other things while talking to you - thus logging on to his computer. I'd only worry about if it appears his attention has clearly drifted in the conversation, and then just slip in a non-sequiter to tease him about it (ie 'And I'm getting the sex change operation next Sunday', see if he notices).

LegacyUser

LOL... very good cafecolour, must try that !

IanCurtis

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

True story:

A friend of mine last year rang her fiancee on his mobile and thought she'd have a laugh. "I can't f*cking believe you," she said. He hadn't a clue what she was talking about so she elaborated. "I can't believe you wouldn't have sex with me before you left this morning!" The response she got? "Eh honey, I'm in the car with my boss and you're on speaker phone...." "........ I have to go."

Always. Ask. First.

I find this story dubious to say the least. In what way would that be funny to her, turning her down sexually? Why did he ask her what she was talking about instead of telling her straight away she was on speaker phone? Why would he answer a call from his fiancee on the speaker, with his boss in the car in the first place?

I think that's from a TV show Embarrassing.

t-ha

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

True story:

A friend of mine last year rang her fiancee on his mobile and thought she'd have a laugh. "I can't f*cking believe you," she said. He hadn't a clue what she was talking about so she elaborated. "I can't believe you wouldn't have sex with me before you left this morning!" The response she got? "Eh honey, I'm in the car with my boss and you're on speaker phone...." "........ I have to go."

Always. Ask. First.

You shouldn't have to, it's pretty standard etiquette that you tell people when they're going on speaker phone and who's in the room/car that can hear them.

I always thought anyway? I'd get pretty pissed if someone put me on speaker without telling me.

nice1franko

Yeah, he should tell you when putting you on speakerphone. Not sure about the pc thing though... like, you say "we could be watching a programme together or checking out things online or pottering about"

There's the pc mentioned right there... but then you say "He's also prone to logging on pc while we are together which I think is rude..." but you just said thats one of the things you do together during your long calls! Would you think it fair if he said 'stop pottering around it's rude'?!

I think you have to accept that you can't have his undivided attention for the duration of all these long calls, especially when you say he doesn't exactly have yours either.

There's nothing wrong with that though. Even if you were there in real person you can't have/give undivided attention like that.

BraziliaNZ

jesus christ i can't believe you're making an issue over something so bloody trivial, have you anything better to moan about?

Lorrs33

My boyfriend puts me on speaker phone sometimes and it doesn't bother me, as long as he's within speaking distance. He plays his guitar or PS3. While this may seem rude to you, I don't think it is.

Oh The Humanity

Maybe your BF is just not a phone person and is finding these long calls an endurance test! Just guessing of course! I am not a phone person and I find it difficult to stay alert for protracted calls!

But I have two friends who are and who will actually take offence if you try to end the call due to for example being just about to eat your dinner or drive etc therefore I just feel trapped when they ring.

For that reason I end up avoiding their calls as much as possible, if thats not possible I am forced to put them on speakerphone as I need to eat, work, move about etc I am NOT going to sit still and remain rapt by their witterings.

Its their own fault in my opinion, I view phone calls as someething which should be the brief exchange of information not an endless stream of consciousness!

Maybe your boyfriend feels trapped and bored by these overly long phone calls, not trying to be rude but he may be trying to make them less pleasant for you so that they end or at least truncate....because I know I do things like that to try to drop the hint I want to get off the line!