I feel like a whore even though I didn't initiate it - this time

aloevera

ok this is feiced up, but i need to tell someone!!!

im in a realtionship - and my boyfriend and i have moved in together. we've had a lot of ups and downs in the past 4 years, but things are great since september. we stopped drinking as much etc.. but then one night in before xmas, we were at a party (a lot of alcohol was consumed) and he was VERY flirty with a girl there and even disappeared for a while with her. he cant remember if anything happened, and claims he wouldnt have done anything . i trust him ,but then again, you never know - as they say "trust no one". now i was hammered too and convinced he was with the girl in question and ended up kissing this guy he knows, who has a girfriend also, he ended up taking my number.

he text me a few times- i text back.. friendly stuff.. i made a decision not to talk to him anymore, and decided that if he text me again i wouldnt wrote back. i deleted his number.

(it gets worse)

so 2 months ago, i find out that the girl in question is pregnant. and it appears that she concieved two weeks after the night she could have possibly been with my bf.

i was out friday night and the man himself was there. he had no shame in being a compete bastard to me - quite viciously like! i was in the smoking area and he came out and was like 'why are you igoring me' and i said well its not right etc etc and i lost your number or something stupid..

i was after beeen told by someone else that the girl in question wont have a DNA test and the guy who is apparently the dad who's child it iss apparently wont have anythig to do with the child.

so we ended up going to a house party and the fella aka complete bastard, was there. he was following me round all night (i wasnt flirting or anything) and followed me upstairs where he came onto me AND I STUPIDLY kissed him back.

my boyfriend was downstairs. i feel like such a bitch.

WHY? i love my boyfriend. i love him so much, and am soooo happy with him, i want to marry him, and have children with him.

i feel like the biggest whore and bitch ever!

but at the back of my mind i keep thinking, what if the child is his?!

i cant believe i broke the promise to myself after last time?



im SO paranoid.

i cant tell him, itd break his heart.

what a mess !

Jules

moved from tLL.

Otis Driftwood

You were at a house party,a guy you had been with before was making advances on you all night and following you around so instead of sticking close to your fella(whose kids you want to have)or your friends you went upstairs alone.

Riiiight.


Stay away from the hooch for a while,ignore the other guy(bastard)and concentrate on your relationship.

And the only ones that say trust no one are in the x-files or are paranoid weirdos.

aloevera

nedtheshed wrote: »

You were at a house party,a guy you had been with before was making advances on you all night and following you around so instead of sticking close to your fella(whose kids you want to have)or your friends you went upstairs alone.

Riiiight.


i went to the loo, i came out he was there...

Nervous Wreck

Doesn't sound like you have the strongest relationship with your OH.... If you want to get your relationship back on track, you need to figure out whether you really love each other or not at all. If the answer to that is a yes each way, you need to start working on trusting each other. Sounds like a long road is ahead of you, which leads to question #3.... Is it worth it?

Otis Driftwood

aloevera wrote: »

i went to the loo, i came out he was there...

Thats fair enough,you did kiss him back though.I presume he kissed you first?

Obviuosly you have doubts about your fellas fidelity.Thats something you have to address ASAP.If you dont it will eventually destroy the relationship.

ManOfMystery

To cut a long story short, you suspect your boyfriend might have done something - yet have no proof at all - but you've snogged this other guy twice since then and also willingly gave him your phone number?

You're the one cheating, not your boyfriend. I suggest you stand back and take a long look at the situation. People who cheat are often the first to suspect others of doing it also.

themadchef

aloevera wrote: »

i love my boyfriend. i love him so much, and am soooo happy with him, i want to marry him, and have children with him.

If you truly believe that, after writing that post, then you have a very skewed understanding of what the word really means.

Where exactly is the love in your actions? Where is the love in the nagging mistrust? For Gods sake do not bring kids into this relationship, at least until you sort your relationship out. How can anyone who wonders if another woman is carrying their boyfriends child even consider marriage

You both need to ease up on the juice, and you need to sit and talk it out like adults.

ellie1

Some part of you must really believe that there is a possibliity that your bf is the father of this child. Why?
Ask him out straight... is there a possibility you are the childs father? or else ask her...

I think this is the reason why you kissed the other bloke.

As long as you have your doubts around your bf being the father of this child, you will continue to act in this manner.

Victor

What is a "wh**e"?

LegacyUser

Sounds like a bit of a palava alright, there's a bit of mistrust on both sides i'm thinking...

Why is it girls always end up kissing the f*ckers for want of a better description...

Chucky the tree

Victor wrote: »

What is a "wh**e"?

Serious? whore.

LegacyUser

aloevera wrote: »

ok this is feiced up, but i need to tell someone!!!

im in a realtionship - and my boyfriend and i have moved in together. we've had a lot of ups and downs in the past 4 years, but things are great since september. we stopped drinking as much etc.. but then one night in before xmas, we were at a party (a lot of alcohol was consumed) and he was VERY flirty with a girl there and even disappeared for a while with her. he cant remember if anything happened, and claims he wouldnt have done anything . i trust him ,but then again, you never know - as they say "trust no one". now i was hammered too and convinced he was with the girl in question and ended up kissing this guy he knows, who has a girfriend also, he ended up taking my number.

he text me a few times- i text back.. friendly stuff.. i made a decision not to talk to him anymore, and decided that if he text me again i wouldnt wrote back. i deleted his number.

(it gets worse)

so 2 months ago, i find out that the girl in question is pregnant. and it appears that she concieved two weeks after the night she could have possibly been with my bf.

i was out friday night and the man himself was there. he had no shame in being a compete bastard to me - quite viciously like! i was in the smoking area and he came out and was like 'why are you igoring me' and i said well its not right etc etc and i lost your number or something stupid..

i was after beeen told by someone else that the girl in question wont have a DNA test and the guy who is apparently the dad who's child it iss apparently wont have anythig to do with the child.

so we ended up going to a house party and the fella aka complete bastard, was there. he was following me round all night (i wasnt flirting or anything) and followed me upstairs where he came onto me AND I STUPIDLY kissed him back.

my boyfriend was downstairs. i feel like such a bitch.

WHY? i love my boyfriend. i love him so much, and am soooo happy with him, i want to marry him, and have children with him.

i feel like the biggest whore and bitch ever!

but at the back of my mind i keep thinking, what if the child is his?!

You're right, its very very messed up.

Firstly you are so insecure about you and the OH, that you think he might be fathering someone else's child.

Put it this way, your boyfriend should't be dissapearing with women at parties.

If you suspect that he is the father of someone else's child then I think you have your answer there.
You don't trust him, (you could be right, who knows?)

But this leads to my last point.

Why did you go off side with this other bloke?

Revenge? The attention, because he was so openly overly flirtatious with another girl?

if so I think you should either talk to the boyfriend and sort out your fears/suspicions to see where you are at in this, (because you are completely lost by the sounds of it),

Or leave the sorry lot including the people who's parties you go to who don't think twice about riding, kissing, whatever, your fella while you are present.

What sort of mess is this? And are you going to talk it out or hold it in and stick with it?

You are at fault in this because you have done nothing other than go offside rather than tackle the situation.
I mean if you knew he was wandering out and about with someone at that party, why didn't you make your excuses and get him to take you home.

Either way if he thinks he can get away with being "very very" flirtatious and wandering off, drink or not, then there are no boundaries in your relationship, and as it stands no trust or communication either...

lehcar

Don't be too hard on yourself. You were drunk, hurt and worried, and you screwed up. You know it's wrong, and you do need to change whatever makes it happen or likely to.

You've got an ugly situation with the BF, but you've got to tackle it head-on. Find out the 100% truth [paternity test] about the pregnancy--90% 'believed assurances' will eat away at you.

If he's not the father, forgive anything else if you can, and set some clear boundaries. Cut down the outside drinking, since clearly neither of you can handle it.