Sick of being single

LegacyUser

i know this has been said a million times in here, wanna just get this out of my system, here seems like a good place to do it. broke up with ex of 5 years 9 months ago. and now im sick of being single. i want a relationship but im not even close. not many single girls in work, all my mates are in long term relationships, so not out meeting new people, no-one im particularly chasing and the ex is in a new relationship so has moved on. if i am out with mates, i end up in a night club where im cr@p at chatting women up. any previous gf's have been work colleagues or friends of friends.

have the money and the holidays to take, really want to go away for a holiday but cant even find anyone to go with. talk about depressing. im trying to stay positive about it all but its really starting to get to me. i want to share my life with someone, i want to do coupley things, sick of getting locked in the local cause i have nothing else to do, but also love going out and the local is my only option.

i know everyone is gonna suggest join a club, new hobby etc...but dont know the first place to start. how can i get out of this rut

sunnyside

The holiday--tour companies like Kamuka and Contiki are used mostly by solo travellers and have an upper age of limit of 30-35. They go almost everywhere except Lanzarotte type sun holidays. Highly recommended.

Wibbs

thee glitz this isn't a place for picking up or social stuff, so please reel it back in and keep on topic.

LegacyUser

OP I'm in exactly the same position as you. I'm out of a 4 year relationship nearly a year now and have found the single life to be monotonous and at times extremley boring and unsatisfying. I miss hanging out with a girlfriend and going on little weekend breaks or romantic walks etc. My ex is now in a new relationship and most of my friends are in long term relationships and it's all starting to eating away at me. Like you, the vast majority of girls at work are not single and I have done all the usual 'join a club, gym, night class' stuff but alas, to no avail. I have actually approached a number of girls and have gotten phone numbers etc but it usually just fizzles out faster then it starts and I am left back at square one which is starting to erode my confidence.

I don't know if this post was helpful or not? I guess I'm just trying to say that you are not alone!

thee glitz

Wibbs wrote: »

thee glitz this isn't a place for picking up or social stuff, so please reel it back in and keep on topic.

oops, my bad. I'm not picking up! deleted

LegacyUser

neither of you are very long out of long term relationships, of course theres lonliness when your suddenly the only single person in your group. Easier said than done, I know but you need to start feeling comfortable with yourself before anyone else comes along. Your better off than me, try being single for nearly 5 years and loosing hope that theres even anyone out there worth meeting!

LegacyUser

same here, tho I don't get locked in the local, but I broke up about a year ago and now... nothing, the best thing that happened lately was that a guy walked me home and gave me his coat , cause I was cold I thought he was cute but then he didn't ask for my number or anything... I dont know i must be weird or i the friendly type

some friends recomended online dating, i went to some sites and it jsut kinda depresses me, i m not gonna get all excited about some dude god know where...

I guess this is not terribly helpful but yes, you are not alone we are all alone in this place

zeslim

Try online dating. Really, try online dating.

Find a website where you can look at profiles of people in your area and start chatting to them. I know several people (myself included) who have successfully used the internet as a way to expand their social circle. Personally I know okcupid to be quite good, but there are loads out there. There's a bit of a stigma attached to the whole thing, but when you've exhausted your local haunts it can be a great way to come across new people.

CaptainSkidmark

Stay away from online dating!!!!!

Im in the same boat as OP only im not out of a relationship.

Just sick of going out with trollops and being played for a mug by my x.

lehcar

Hiya! wrote: »

the local is my only option.
...
how can i get out of this rut

By realizing there are other options. Figure them out in your local environment.

Work on improving yourself, stop looking and wishing so hard. A better you will have more to offer in your next relationship.

Online is good, but of course [just like clubs and pubs] you have to get used to it and learn how to weed out the time-wasters. After that learning curve though, it can beat offline hands down.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

OP I'm in exactly the same position as you. I'm out of a 4 year relationship nearly a year now and have found the single life to be monotonous and at times extremley boring and unsatisfying. I miss hanging out with a girlfriend and going on little weekend breaks or romantic walks etc. My ex is now in a new relationship and most of my friends are in long term relationships and it's all starting to eating away at me. Like you, the vast majority of girls at work are not single and I have done all the usual 'join a club, gym, night class' stuff but alas, to no avail. I have actually approached a number of girls and have gotten phone numbers etc but it usually just fizzles out faster then it starts and I am left back at square one which is starting to erode my confidence.

I don't know if this post was helpful or not? I guess I'm just trying to say that you are not alone!

Hi again, I'm the guy who posted the message above.

For the posters who mentioned on-line dating, I actually met the ex before my last on-line (not a dating site as such) so that avenue certainly does work. But the vast majority of the people on these sites are extremely superficial and will only talk to people who they find physically attractive or are in a certain age bracket. So in that regard, it is easier to approach people on-line then say in a bar but harder to get a response, if that makes sense?

Could be worth a try OP!

LegacyUser

DO try on-line dating. I was in the same situation as you a year ago, sick of being single and meeting the same ol faces every wkend in the local. So I joined maybefriends.com and am now engaged and getting married next year! What have you got to lose?

AARRRGH

Do a language course, or an acting course. Full of single women who won't be feeling defensive.

MadgeBadge

I can testify, I do both a language course and a dance class. Full of lovely single ladies (who'd love a male dance partner).

Now, as for the single men, they're a little sneakier, I don't know where they are :rolleyes:.