Would-be gangster shoots off own manhood

Tabnabs · 23-05-2009 4:11pm #1

Lukas Neuhardt, 27, had forgotten to put the safety catch on when he stuffed the gun into his trouser pocket to impress pals in Saarbruecken, Germany.

He told paramedics that a masked mugger had blasted him in the crutch in a bungled robbery.

But police found a hole in his statement when they saw that the gunshot had miraculously left his trousers intact.

"Instead there was a charred hole in his pocket so either it was the shot of the century or he did it himself," said a police source.

Now - after surgeons stitched his manhood back together - he's facing up to three years in jail for breaching Germany's tough new anti gun laws.

source

galwayrush · 23-05-2009 4:12pm

He shot off his shooter.:D

My name is URL · 23-05-2009 4:13pm

Is he eligible for a Darwin Award?

Sharpshooter · 23-05-2009 4:14pm

So he reversed Cock the Gun.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 23-05-2009 4:14pm

There probably wasn't much to shoot off tbh.

My name is URL wrote: »

Is he eligible for a Darwin Award?

Only if he died.

galwayrush · 23-05-2009 4:15pm

Braylen Pitiful Rubbish wrote: »

There probably wasn't much to shoot off tbh.

Only if he died.

Or he lost the ability to procreate.;)

4zn76tysfajdxp · 23-05-2009 4:19pm

galwayrush wrote: »

Or he lost the ability to procreate.;)

Oh yeah. Maybe he is then.

Sharpshooter · 23-05-2009 4:21pm

Dyflin wrote: »

source

He told paramedics that a masked mugger had blasted him in the crutch in a bungled robbery.

That was a lame thing to do all the same.

galwayrush · 23-05-2009 4:24pm

Sharpshooter wrote: »

He told paramedics that a masked mugger had blasted him in the crutch in a bungled robbery.

That was a lame thing to do all the same.

Guess he was no Sharpshooter.:D

4zn76tysfajdxp · 23-05-2009 4:25pm

Sharpshooter wrote: »

He told paramedics that a masked mugger had blasted him in the crutch in a bungled robbery.

That was a lame thing to do all the same.

He shouldn't have tried to lean on such an implausible story.

Sharpshooter · 23-05-2009 4:27pm

True, it's never going to stand up in court.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 23-05-2009 4:30pm

Shooting himself is one thing, but I didn't think he'd have the balls to lie to the police like that.

galwayrush · 23-05-2009 4:30pm

Sharpshooter wrote: »

True, it's never going to stand up in court.

Doubt if it'll ever stand to attention for anything again.:D

Sharpshooter · 23-05-2009 4:35pm

Dyflin wrote: »

source

But police found a hole in his statement when they saw that the gunshot had miraculously left his trousers intact.

Ffs did he shoot that too?

syklops · 23-05-2009 6:06pm

LOL at his name, Neuhardt!

Latchy · 23-05-2009 6:11pm

Some guys have all the fun .

All I manage to do now and again is catch it in my zipper

Ooch

Borneo Fnctn · 23-05-2009 6:13pm

I've dealt with firearms on many occasions and anybody who handles one like this guy is a dangerous moron. Just because you're a gangster doesn't mean you can be complacent with safety measures. It was himself he mutilated so this put a smile on my face. Big time

Banter Joe · 23-05-2009 6:23pm

[quote=Dyflin;60372978]Lukas Neuhardt, 27, had forgotten to put the safety catch on when he stuffed the gun into his trouser pocket to impress pals in Saarbruecken, Germany.[/quote]

Neuhardt is german for new heart.

As he shot himself in the balls, this is of no use to me in coming up with a witty reply.

If his name was Lukas Neuhosenschlange, then we'd be in business.

tech77 · 23-05-2009 7:00pm

My name is URL wrote: »

Is he eligible for a Darwin Award?

I would think so.
Don't think it HAS to be posthumous.
A living recipient of a Darwin award LOL

Thephantomsmask · 23-05-2009 7:11pm

Just shows you should never shoot from the hip. He's definitely a .22 calibre Colt intelligence in a .357 Magnum world

Podge2k7 · 23-05-2009 9:46pm

Dopey bastard!He was nuts to put a loaded gun down his pants.

easyeason3 · 23-05-2009 9:53pm

This is nearly as good as that Callopy fool in Limerick shooting himself.

'Zeh next lesson meine hoodiez iz how to shoot zeh enemy in zeh head'

Soulja boy · 23-05-2009 9:57pm

He'll be firing blanks from now on.

Capt'n Midnight · 23-05-2009 9:58pm

Braylen Pitiful Rubbish wrote: »

There probably wasn't much to shoot off tbh.

Only if he died.

no he'd be eligable for an award if he can't procreate naturally

ejmaztec · 23-05-2009 10:09pm

This thread is redickless.:P

Sharpshooter · 23-05-2009 10:14pm

Sperm me the obvious.

Captain-America · 23-05-2009 11:28pm

Dopey ballbag.

Saibh · 23-05-2009 11:32pm

Captain-America wrote: »

Dopey ballbag.

Good name for him if he goes to prison

or maybe jailbird?

randylonghorn · 23-05-2009 11:43pm

My name is URL wrote: »

Is he eligible for a Darwin Award?

Bobbit Award, tbh!

Podge2k7 wrote: »

Dopey bastard!He was nuts to put a loaded gun down his pants.

Meh, I keep a loaded gun in my pants all the time.

I've even been known to trigger it through my pockets on occasion when I was younger.

I'm still alive and in perfect working order! :pac:

Pete P Peterson · 24-05-2009 12:16am

A better headline might have been: "German Man Blows His Own Cock"

Saibh · 24-05-2009 12:25am

Pete P Peterson wrote: »

A better headline might have been: "German Man Blows His Own Cock"

A cock and bull story :pac:

tony1kenobi · 24-05-2009 12:38am

Now this lad is just a cnut.

Sharpshooter · 24-05-2009 12:39am

Wut Now?
Which Lad?

randylonghorn · 24-05-2009 12:54am

tony1kenobi wrote: »

Now this lad is just a cnut.

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Wut Now?
Which Lad?

His lower "lad", one presumes ...

Sharpshooter · 24-05-2009 1:00am

randylonghorn wrote: »

His lower "lad", one presumes ...

Cum on, I knew that much.
/don't you all have a name for it.
/ffs ruin it for me why don't you:D

randylonghorn · 24-05-2009 1:09am

Sharpshooter wrote: »

/ffs ruin it for me why don't you:D

OK.

/shrugs

Mr Benevolent · 24-05-2009 11:21am

Why do some people spell 'crotch' wrongly? A 'crutch' is something entirely different.

Capt'n Midnight · 24-05-2009 12:31pm

Confab wrote: »

A 'crutch' is something entirely different.

It's what Japanese drivers use to change gears.

randylonghorn · 24-05-2009 7:32pm

Confab wrote: »

A 'crutch' is something entirely different.

Something to lean on to take the weight off your feet?

Well, if you're lucky enough there's not that much difference ... >_>

ctrl-alt-delete · 24-05-2009 7:40pm

Saarbrucken, figured prominently in Deutsche Heute

always were funny looking people

galwayrush · 24-05-2009 7:40pm

Confab wrote: »

Why do some people spell 'crotch' wrongly? A 'crutch' is something entirely different.

Possibly interlinked here, the shooter possibly needed a crutch in his crotch area.;)

Sharpshooter · 24-05-2009 7:55pm

I'd say he's one crotchety individual now alright.

cps_goodbuy · 24-05-2009 8:11pm

Hmm, the image of that South Park Episode comes to mind

*where cartman and butters are anti-asian and butters shoots a number of people in the crotch, and cartmans like..."WTF, dude thats lame, you never shoot someone in the crotch"

johnnyskeleton · 24-05-2009 9:11pm

jackpalance wrote: »

I've dealt with firearms on many occasions and anybody who handles one like this guy is a dangerous moron. Just because you're a gangster doesn't mean you can be complacent with safety measures. It was himself he mutilated so this put a smile on my face. Big time

So are you suggesting that gangsters have health and safety training courses?

Borneo Fnctn · 24-05-2009 9:42pm

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

So are you suggesting that gangsters have health and safety training courses?

It doesn't bother me what they do to themselves or each other but I'm suggesting that they don't shoot their own cocks of.

pikachucheeks · 27-05-2009 10:54am

'Least he didn't break any bones ... Oh, wait!
:pac:

johnny_knoxvile · 27-05-2009 11:04am

Its said on the instructions "cock the glock" not "glock the cock".

GlasnevinRed · 27-05-2009 11:11am

Imagine showing your mates a scar like that.:p

Would-be gangster shoots off own manhood

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