Am I freak or is this normal?

LegacyUser · 22-05-2009 9:31pm #1

This is kind of embarassing to admit but I'm 17 and I've never been kissed. Never even come close to it infact. I realize that this probably pales in comparisson to most of the stuff posted on here, but lately it's been getting me really down.

Most of the people I know had theirs years ago, and they've even progressed way further and I feel like some kind of unkissable freak. I didn't pay it much attention 'til recently when my 12 year old cousin (!) started telling me that she kissed someone from school at some birthday party. The humilation was unbelieveable. She's not even finished primary school and she's got more experience than me!

Relatives are always asking me "So have you got a fella then?" which is embarassing enough but it's even worse when girls from school start up discussions about who got off with who while I try and slink down further in my chair so as not to be noticed. I've managed to avoid it so far by changing the subject or evading but I know sooner or later they're all gonna figure it out for themselves and that terrifies me. I don't want to be seen as a freak.

I guess what I'm asking is am I freak or is this normal?

LegacyUser · 22-05-2009 9:50pm

Firstly, you're not a freak. Don't put yourself down like this.

I was 18 when I had my first kiss.

I'm sure plenty of people on here weren't kissing when they were 12 either

star-pants · 22-05-2009 9:51pm

Firstly you're far from a freak hun.
It's normal for you. I didn't kiss a guy until i was 18, and didn't go further until I was 23 or so. It's whenever things happen for you, or are right. My sister's 16 and I know she kissed a boy when she was 14/15 and I was like :eek: but it's all different times and different people.

I wouldn't fret at all, go with your own balance and it'll happen when it's suppposed to. Don't worry about others doing things before you, you're FAR from a freak

Pherekydes · 22-05-2009 10:04pm

I was also 18 when I had my first kiss. (And in retrospect I would have happily passed on it)

Opportunity will present itself sooner or later; don't worry about it.

LegacyUser · 22-05-2009 10:06pm

I didn't kiss any boy until I was 17, it just didn't happen for me, when I was 13 or 14, there were no teenager discos in my area to go to and I only had afew girls as friends, went to an all girls school etc, only when I started to go out after my leaving cert did I get my first kiss and my other friend was the same and the boy i kissed ,it was his first kiss as well, so don't worry it will happen.
I know it can seem embarassing but theres lots of other people in the same boat as you, but they don't let on.

Hman09 · 22-05-2009 10:20pm

i had my first kiss at 12 and i regret it. i was sorta forced into it. Your not a freak at all, dont worry...your time will come;)

smelltheglove · 22-05-2009 10:23pm

Hman09 wrote: »

i had my first kiss at 12 and i regret it. i was sorta forced into it. Your not a freak at all, dont worry...your time will come;)

Same here! You sound very grown up also for your age, I bet when it is right you will seize the day. I reckon I could have passed on the first, second, third fourth probably actually most of them:D

zeslim · 24-05-2009 10:18pm

You're certainly not a freak

I had my first kiss when I was 17 and was always (and still am) the quiet and reserved type. Like you, I'd overhear girls chatting about their experiences and when I was about 16 it really started to get me down. My advice is not to let other people's experiences make you feel like you're not 'keeping up' - it's really about being comfortable and making the right choices for you, and not doubting yourself if you happen to be going at a different pace.

Trust me, it will happen for you - so don't worry too much, it's absolutely normal!

Nervous Wreck · 24-05-2009 10:38pm

I think I was 12 or so when I had my first kiss. Far too young in retrospect....

Wouldn't be embarrassed OP, I have friends who never kissed girls until they were 21. I even know one guy who, when last I spoke to him, said he'd never kissed a girl. He was 24 at the time. You're far from freaky!

LittleEve · 24-05-2009 10:56pm

Hey OP plenty of people are similiar to you, there's no set time or right age for this to happen, you have to let it happen naturally. my friend is 23 and has never kissed anyone, she is just very shy but very likeable and im sure it'll happen when the time is ready for her. i never told my first kiss that he was and still see him around the odd time and always smile for the memory, (he spent the whole night chatting to me and i was petrified because i knew it was coming, but it was grand in the end

)

LegacyUser · 24-05-2009 11:16pm

I think it's a lot more common than you'd expect! I was 20 and I know about 5 friends were in the 17-19 range. Definitely nothing to worry about

LegacyUser · 25-05-2009 6:33pm

Don't worry! It's all about who the person is.

I had my first kiss at 16, but I met him at 14 and I'm still dating him, being 18.

A lot of girls you'll hear about who got off with x and made out with y, it's all just a self ego-boosting technique for them. I can assure you when the person's right, you're going to feel like they're the pathetic ones, because they didn't take the time to find someone they really wanted, they wasted their first kiss on some guy they don't even remember the name of!

So be proud of it - seriously, you're not an "easy" girl, and that's more attractive and more respect-inducing than a girl that's kissed all the guys on the rugby team.

lehcar · 26-05-2009 8:49am

Hey, I was on the rugby team--and didn't have my first kiss until almost 18

Different speeds, it's all good.

conzy · 28-05-2009 11:25am

I was 18 and so were loads of people that I know and soon you will realise that lots and lots and lots of people that you assumed have kissed people are in the same boat as you

jessicaxox · 28-05-2009 12:47pm

no course your not i have loads of friend that are 18 and they still havn't had der first kiss.......im sure it'll happen soon enough ders no rush:)xx

Dudess · 28-05-2009 4:45pm

You're probably more interested in an enjoyable experience with someone you really like, rather than getting your face worn off by someone you're not that bothered with (i.e. what my first snog was). That might seem unusual as so many people are sheep (including me when I was a teenager) but making you a "freak"? Definitely not.

As for your relatives' comments - they might be well-meaning, just small talk (more than likely the case) but if they're actually concerned about a 17-year-old's love life well then they're fairly sad and not worth paying heed to...

Taltos · 28-05-2009 4:51pm

It's all about the story.

Instead of calling yourself a "freak"
Call yourself "Someone with Taste" - you just have not seen anything on the menu you want to wrap your lips around

mrDerek · 28-05-2009 4:53pm

ill kiss ya haha

jus messin but i will say nothing to be ashamed of if you havent kissed anybody yet.now if your in your late 20's ye maybe a nun convent is the place you should be at haha.

KieranKennedy · 28-05-2009 4:57pm

Well in my opinion it is unusual, but it doesn't mean you are a freak, it could mean that you are of course, but there are any number of alternative explanations, you might be more reserved, you might not be the kind of person who expresses their affection in this manner, you might not be attractive to the opposite sex. Jumping to the conclusion that you are a freak is not really a clever course of action.

LegacyUser · 28-05-2009 9:37pm

Thank's so much for the replies. Had managed to convince myself I was the only 17 year old in the history of the world who hadn't kissed a boy. Seems really silly now and yet just last week I was having visions of me ending up a lonely old lady surrounded by cats. Have decided to embrace it not hide from it. (love the Someone With Taste idea :P)

Thank you for your help!

entropi · 29-05-2009 2:08am

Unregistered wrote: »

visions of me ending up a lonely old lady surrounded by cats.

I just laughed out pretty loudly at that (now 3:05am) i always do when i hear "crazy cat lady":D. Seriously though, i didnt have my first kiss until i was 23 so maybe its unusual yeah, but i really didnt pay any attention to the fact either, it just happened:) I'm sure the same will happen for you, it will surprise you at some time and there ya go, all done and dusted!

LegacyUser · 03-06-2009 10:10pm

You're not a freak! My first kiss was when I was 18 and my boyfriend kissed me when he was 18 and I was his first. My best friend also kissed someone for the first time when she was 18 and she is gorgeous! We're all a little quiet but still sociable and attractive and not freaks,don't worry,it'll happen

Am I freak or is this normal?

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