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Nail your ridiculous NOTW/the sun/the star/the mirror/the people gossip to the mast

  • 22-05-2009 5:13pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,347 ✭✭✭


    Its silly season again....

    WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!

    MOYES QUITS AFTER STORMING ROW WITH KENWRIGHT!!


    Bill Pickleton, Liverpool


    Everton's David Moyes has quit the club after an astonishing day in Merseyside.

    A routine meeting with Bill Kenwright culminated with the Scots man storming out at approximately 4pm after being handed a paltry £3000 for summer signings.

    He went straight to the Finch Farm training complex ready to deliver a killer blow to his squad only to be shocked to see a 30 foot limo from executives of Manchester City outside the ground.

    Moye's looked on bewildered as a war chest said to contain 70 Million pounds was put on the grass as the shell shocked players looked on.

    Tony Hibbert, Andy Van Der Meyde and Nuno Valente could be seen consoling themselves as Moye's own starlets Jagielka, Arteta, Yakubu, Cahill, Piennear, Rodwell and Fellaini were whisked into the limousine and are expected to sign extended contracts at the city of Manchester stadium.

    A furious David Moye's promptly drove straight to Old Trafford to assume managerial duties to replace Sir Alex Ferguson, who spontaneously combusted after the much maligned 1.5Billion Pounds transfer of Ronaldo to Real Madrid.

    One player who wont be under his eyes at Carrington is Rooney, who was personally slated in Moye's new autobiography, 'Mr Dignity'.

    Rooney is expected to join his ex team mate Ronaldo at Real in the close season. And meet his English team mates in a whole new look Galactio side including, Steven Gerrard, Gareth Barry, Frank Lampard and Jermain Defoe.

    Rafa Benitez, when questioned on these developments said Liverpool will for sure win the title this season.

    Amazingly, Kenwright has already instilled Mike Walker and Ms.Clough as the new gaffers in charge of Everton with immediate effect.

    Walker has not read a newspaper or kicked a ball since the traumatic last day victory against Wimbledon in May1994, but now declares he is ready to return to the big time.

    Ms.Clough revealed she had a burning desire to manage a top side ever since Brian passed away.

    When questioned by this reporter if Everton could finish 4th this season Ms.Clough interrupted and said -

    'no sir, the top one'.


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