Pictures of the ex....

Supercell

I have quite a lot of pictures of my ex, we spent some good times together and had a couple of great holidays abroad. I really like the holiday pictures in particular as they remind me of some genuinely fun times.

I really care about my current girlfriend and I wonder how she would respond if she found these photos on my computer?
Am I wrong to keep the old photos?, is it unfair on the new g/f ?
She's a bit paranoid about her looks, she thinks everyone else is better looking than her even though that's far from true. I know if she sees them she'll automatically think the ex is better looking than her and that's why I have them...agghh

What do the wise boardsies out there think?

helimachoptor

No I don't think so, I mean they are your photos too so you shouldnt have to delete them, just dont go setting them as your wallpaper/screensaver!

I'm sure she has pics of her ex's etc.

LegacyUser

Well I have photos of my ex on my pc & in boxes - we have a child so they are family photos only on pc and I wouldn't remove them.

My bf 'showed' me pics of his ex on his pc which I thought was a bit wierd. Your girlfriend might feel same if she found them. At least my bf wasn't trying to hide them. Perhaps keep them in a folder where they won't be obvious if you are worried.

Silverfish

Do you have pics of your current gf on there as well, of similar fun times or holidays or anything?

Cos if you have pictures of the ex and none of your gf, thats going to get on the nerves a bit I'd say.

Maybe just tactfully put them fairly well embedded in a couple of folders or something.

yellowstar

yea to be honest id agree. Your wit her now so she shouldnt be pissed about finding pics of your ex. Your ex is an ex for a reason and everyone has a history.

Supercell

Thanks guys, yes they are buried deep in my er..pictures folder..thate a bajillions of picture folders in there so I will hide them a little deeper inside there.

I have loads of pics of the new one too and one of us together on my desktop so there is some kind of balance there.
I'll keep them so, and not look at them when she is around.

star-pants

No issue with having pictures of the ex, as others said, once they're not on wallpaper view or something. I still have albums on my bebo n facebook that have ex's in, because I like the pictures. Obviously once you have some of her too!!

SamuelFox

Of course you should keep them - ex or not they are a record of part of your life, of experiences you had. As long as you aren't gazing at them on a daily basis I'd say keep them. I wouldn't have much time for my ex but it still dosen't change the fact that while I was with her I had some amazing experiences and I want to have a memento of those times.

LegacyUser

TBH I think it's a bit odd, that you feel important to keep and hide them...kinda suggests to me that you have something to feel guilty about!!

Maybe it's just me but I live in the present. I'm not going to be going in looking and reminiscing about a chapter of my life that's over with. Personally I'd deleted all photos of my ex (apart from a couple of group photos of events that I want to look back on)long before I met current bf. I wouldnh't hbe interested in keeping pictures of someone that I din't want to keep in my life

Silverfish

Unregistered wrote: »

TBH I think it's a bit odd, that you feel important to keep and hide them...kinda suggests to me that you have something to feel guilty about!!

Maybe it's just me but I live in the present. I'm not going to be going in looking and reminiscing about a chapter of my life that's over with. Personally I'd deleted all photos of my ex (apart from a couple of group photos of events that I want to look back on)long before I met current bf. I wouldnh't hbe interested in keeping pictures of someone that I din't want to keep in my life

I have to admit, I'd be the same. I'd just feel uncomfortable looking at pics of me in a relationship with someone when I'd be in a relationship with someone else. Just something a little 'Ah, if only!' about the whole thing.

But, at the end of the day, everyone's different, everyone's relationships are different, so if they want to keep the pictures, while it'd be weird to you and me, it'd be grand to most people I'd say.

Gyalist

Supercell wrote: »

Thanks guys, yes they are buried deep in my er..pictures folder..thate a bajillions of picture folders in there so I will hide them a little deeper inside there.

I have loads of pics of the new one too and one of us together on my desktop so there is some kind of balance there.
I'll keep them so, and not look at them when she is around.

That would be entirely the wrong thing to do. Why haven't you showed them to her in the first place. There's no reason to feel that you have to hide them.

More importantly, it is a good idea to sub-communicate to her that other women find you attractive.

LegacyUser

Having a pic of you and another woman on your pc is hardly an indication that women find you attractive Gyalist !! Maybe that's what Hugh Heffner keeps telling himself lol

nice_guy80

burn them onto cds. delete off pc. if you need them they will be available.

RHunce

put them on a memory key and keep them at work then delete the from the pc

Gyalist

nice_guy80 wrote: »

burn them onto cds. delete off pc. if you need them they will be available.

RHunce wrote: »

put them on a memory key and keep them at work then delete the from the pc

Huh?!? Why would anyone want to do that? It isn't like he's flaunting the photos in her face. Everyone has a past and reminders of their past. To hide the photos or delete them form the PC would be the wrong thing to do.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

b12mearse

i have pictures of my ex at home on the dart board

Victor

b12mearse wrote: »

i have pictures of my ex at home on the dart board

Can we stick to more constructive posts?

LegacyUser

in my opinion i have seen this a few times and every time the gf was devastated when they were found, memories or not i believe if they are an ex for a reason why keep around photos, you have the memories and there will be photos around without her in. I woud be hurt if i seen photos even tho she is my hubbys ex and they have kids i can ignore the feelings as i know they are silly but they are still there.

spinandscribble

what i plan on doing is printing my exs photos an keeping them in a shoe box along with all the little presents. that way when i'm old and wrinkly i can remember their faces and laugh at what i was wearing. maybe do something similar?

iguana

I'd actually suggest getting an external hardrive and storing them on it. Not just those photos, but pretty much everything on your computer that you don't want immediate access to. And keep copies of everything you keep on your computer too.

That way your gf is unlikely to ever find them, nor would she be likely to be upset if she did. But your computer would be better taken care of and run faster. And all your important stuff would be backed up. It's win, win, win.:)

Davaeo09

Well, I think the best solution is sit her down for dinner one day, and tell her you've been thinking " I have all these pictures of ********** and I think there really funny and remind me of some genuinely good times, but I was worried you'd be upset if you found them. So if its ok with you can I keep them?"

legend365

nice_guy80 wrote: »

burn them onto cds. delete off pc. if you need them they will be available.

RHunce wrote: »

put them on a memory key and keep them at work then delete the from the pc

Yea that sounds like your hiding somthing and if she did find them.

Uh oh!

LegacyUser

I was using my boyfs comp and found a file full of pics of him and his ex looking veryhappy and in love. Hurt to see them, but I wasn't angry, as she in the past and he is with me. I personally dont keep any pics of exes, and sort of wish he didnt, but everyone is different, so get over it was what i told myself! and never mentioned it to him, whats the point

Mr. Frost

If it bothers her why not just print them out and put them away where you can look at them if you want - I mean is she using your computer too? I just don't see why you want them around, especially as you've obviously moved on. I just don't see why people make such a big deal over photos...

...My two cents on this:
I just prefer to keep that stuff in my head.
I'm not much of a photo person anyway, I just don't care for them and only have some from one of my ex's as they were actually printed and I didn't just say 'ah fcuk it' and delete them or accidentally delete them*.

*Backup, delete the backup, then delete from camera and restore from back up without said photo's backed up!

lehcar

You could ask over in the tech forum about some options:
1. creating hidden folders on your PC;
2. Backing up online to sites like Mozy.com

I have photos of all my exes, not hidden but not flaunted either. Important parts of my life, which I won't delete for anyone. But I would keep them hidden until I was sure my woman wouldn't be upset by them.

LegacyUser

I agree with others why all the need to hide them so deep in the mists of some unnavigable subfolder. Just label them normally and keep them in a normal place.. ie. 'spain '04' or 'interrailing 05' not 'sexysarah' or anything stupid.. that is unless you do have a reason to feel guilty and need to hide something? are you over her? keep them with photos of other friends from the past

i wouldnt worry about yourgirlfriend making a looks comparison; it's just an opportunity for you to tell her how wonderful she is and list all the reasons why you chose her