Chasing vs stalking

LegacyUser

We all know that the man is expected to do the chasing, like it or not that is generally how it works.

I met a woman on match two weeks ago and after a few emails got her mobile number , but that was only because she isin't to using email (hard to believe these days for someone who is 23) we exchanged texts, I suggested I'd call her so she could "hear what I sounded like", but she said no lets do texts for a few weeks first. Well I left her a voice message, by calling voicemail directly, and have heard nothing since (48hours), should I call her? what can I say?

You see its difficult to know if she is playing a game and wants me to chase, or if she is not interested, the classic problem.

To summarise I've never seen her, apart from the profile photo, and never heard her, apart from the "hi this is x, please leave a message" recording on voicemail

Nervous Wreck

Probably should have respected her wishes and not called, even if it was indirect. She could find that a bit strange...

Do not call again. If you feel the need to get in contact, stick with the texts but just send one and leave it at that. If she replies, gold. If not, chalk it up to experience and don't repeat your mistakes.

hepcat

Unregistered wrote: »

We all know that the man is expected to do the chasing, like it or not that is generally how it works.

I met a woman on match two weeks ago and after a few emails got her mobile number , but that was only because she isin't to using email (hard to believe these days for someone who is 23) we exchanged texts, I suggested I'd call her so she could "hear what I sounded like", but she said no lets do texts for a few weeks first. Well I left her a voice message, by calling voicemail directly, and have heard nothing since (48hours), should I call her? what can I say?

You see its difficult to know if she is playing a game and wants me to chase, or if she is not interested, the classic problem.

To summarise I've never seen her, apart from the profile photo, and never heard her, apart from the "hi this is x, please leave a message" recording on voicemail[/QUOTE

There is also the possibilty that she is not a 23yo female? Text her and if she doesn't reply leave it at that.

StormWarrior

Why are you trying so hard and why do you care so much? It's not like you even know her. She probably thinks you're desperate. Even if that's not the case, if you don't respect her wishes not to call her, she probably thinks you won't respect her wishes in other areas. I think you should just leave it.

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

I suggested I'd call her so she could "hear what I sounded like"

Good suggestion - you took the initiative....

Unregistered wrote: »

....but she said no lets do texts for a few weeks first.

Fair enough - she was straight re what she wanted.

Unregistered wrote: »

Well I left her a voice message, by calling voicemail directly

So basically you ignored her wishes ?

Unregistered wrote: »

....and have heard nothing since (48hours), should I call her?

No. You shouldn't have called the first time, and calling again will make matters even worse.

Forget about it COMPLETELY, and if you're lucky she might get in touch. But don't expect that, because I doubt it.

Learn from it for next time - i.e. don't act on impulse if it means ignoring or disrespecting someone's wishes.

Oryx

You may have got a man pretending, or a woman who is attached but getting her jollies on the side, by flirting with guys like you.

If she is playing a game and wants you to chase, youre better off not catching her tbh. She may be a fox, but youre not on horseback.

My vote is Move On.

vector

To the OP: I like your loophole of calling her voicemail directly, as that doesn't invoice calling her, however if she isin't interested in technology (doesn't email much) then she probably doesn't realise its possible to call voice mail directly (i.e. prefix a 5) so she will think that you called her, and her mobile was out of range.

on the one hand this was a bold, manly move, but on the other it went against her wishes... hmmm... well hold on, what about YOUR wishes? its a two way street, if you take into account YOUR wishes and think of the manly chasing requirement then its ok

but don't call her again, hopefully you'll get a text, and you can text back, if you hear nothing at all, then send a text asking if she liked you silky smooth voice or something, but I'm afraid I see this going nowhere.

I was in a similiar position myself, texting a woman, who always took 2 days to reply, I thought that meant disinterest, but it turned out she was just one of those people that doesn't care about mobiles, once we met in real life all was well

mother_rucker

I think the problem may be that texting is too forward when you've never seen the object of your affection.
Why not take the time to outline your intentions in a romantic letter to her. This way if she wants a chase she'll be satisfied and if not, send it to all her friends so she doesn't feel unique

I'lllearnye

It's daunting enough communicating with someone from a dating website. I was on a dating website, and I was very watchful of any slip-ups the man might make. Any indiscretion meant that I would never meet up with them. I was looking out for my own safety.
This girl might be the same, and she might have seen you phoning as a total disregard for what she wanted, again from a safety perspective. Leave her be and if she contacts you, that'd be great. If she doesn't, start emailing/meeting up with other people.

Salome

To me, texts only = I'm not single so can't talk.

Don't waste your time.

Rb

I agree with Liam Byrne, walk away from this immediately.

The damage is done, if she contacts you again so be it but do not expect it as you've probably freaked her out. She doesn't know you, she asked not to call and yet you did.

I'd also advise you to respect these peoples wishes as such behaviour is not only a bad reflection of yourself but also of the site and others on it.