Can't cut contact

LegacyUser

My ex broke up with me 3 months ago and seems to have completely gotten over me which is ok. We were only together for 1 year but it was fairly serious, always together, practically living together. I know this question has been asked before but.... it has come to the stage when I can get through 3, 4 or 5 days without contacting him but thats about it. We talk through skype. Well I say 'we talk' but its more I talk, he says short answers or comments and yes or no a few times and then says something like- I gotta go. Sometimes we argue, more frequent recently as he's naturally getting really fed up.

He is at the point of telling me to fu*k off and I'm still not doing that. He actually has I think. He's certainly told me to leave him alone before. I so want to stop and I really want to get him out of my head. Is anyone else in the same boat ...??? Why are we doing this to ourselves? Or am I the only person prolonging my own agony?

I know its self control - of which I seem to have none. I know It's prolonging the heartbreak - this is still not stopping me. He is going to end up hating me - if he doesnt already. The strange thing is - I don't really want to get back - I want to get over him. I think its the fact that I want him to regret his decision, i can't accept it's over or something and I hate the fact that he dumped me.

I sound a combination of psychotic, obsessive, pathetic and desperate here but really, I'm a normal, got it together girl - thats why this is so bad for me. What the hell am I at?

star-pants

It's not crazy, people crave the familiar, and it's hard to let go sometimes.

but for your own sake, cut contact completely, block/delete/etc everything you have connecting to him. It really will do you good in the long run. You want to get over him, you can't and won't do that whilst you have a thread hanging onto him.

catratbat

Delete all numbers and e-mails and Skype contact details. Don't think about it.. don't hum and haw, just go for it.

Ye can see for yourself that it's damaging his perception of you and worse still, your own perception of yourself.

Everyone gets dumped at some point in their lives, it's nothing to be ashamed of and sure hey! It clears they way for someone more suitable and more into you. Chalk it down to life experience (nauseating term yes, but that's what it is)... Hold your head up and move on... You're gonna be a stronger person for it.

Delete those numbers and don't go looking for them, go for a walk instead.:)

Ciara2008

I relate to this a lot. It sounds like your clinging on to him is making it easier for him to move on. It's like a push pull thing. The more you push to talk to him on skype etc the more your "There" the easier it is for him to move on because he knows your there.

If you were the one giving the short responses and appearing "over it" i imagine there would be a quick change in dynamic. Unfortunately, when you feel like your in a place where your going mad (and you're not by the way) it's very hard to switch up the roles. Plus, all you would be doing is playing games.

If you really want to get over this guy and move on then no contact is the only way. There's nothing easy about it, but dragging things out never helps anyone.

Hope this helps

x

Abi

As the others have said here, you have to cut all contact with him. Any contact at all is just going to keep upsetting you, and he seems to be getting pretty pissed off now. He has moved on, and I think he has done his best to part as friends. But I think you've made that pretty difficult to do. What you are doing is pretty much harassing the guy.

Why want what doesnt want you? Its the routine that you had together as a couple that is left you on unfamiliar ground. You have to create a new routine, set things up with your friends to look forward to. Nights out, concerts, plan holidays, get a new hair cut / colour / new clothes or whatever will give you a fresh outlook. Put on a brave face, and end this agony now.

LegacyUser

I've uninstalled Skype completely from my computer. Da daaa! Thanks to all of you I have a new found determination to not contact him. I uninstalled it yesterday and although installing it again is just a mere click away I'm not going to do it. At least not today. One day at a time! The hardest thing about it was and it was quite unexpected - in the middle of the uninstalling process it asked me 'do you wish do delete all call and chat history?' Now, we talked on skype from the day we met, when we weren't together. So effectively our whole relationship, and break up, was written out - a whole 16 months worth - the book of our relationship I suppose! There for me to re read whenever I missed him or felt sad or down. That will never help me of course. So I clicked 'yes' and now the history is deleted. It's sad and it was difficult to click yes and god knows I could have published it and it would have made very entertaining reading - a whole relationships comings and goings on, good, bad and ugly.

You are all right, I am harassing the poor guy. I'm not crazy and the more I push to talk to him the more he pulls away. It's a tangled web we lovers weave and it is, sadly, a game at times. Why pursue someone who doesn't want me? I deserve much more. This is the second time I've gone through heart break, the last time after a 4yr relationship. I won't let this take up any more of my time. I'll let it go now. It was great while it lasted. Thanks again x

Alz®

The way i look at it, if your loved one (ex) wants you let them contact you !!

Whats meant for you wont pass you by