What does it mean??

barbie princess

can anyone tell me there take on what it means when ur bf likes doin things wit out you rather then wit u? because as i see it its not a great sign

Gyalist

barbie princess wrote: »

can anyone tell me there take on what it means when ur bf likes doin things wit out you rather then wit u? because as i see it its not a great sign

It's probably a sign to you that you should develop interests other than the relationship. Your relationship is an important part of your life but not your whole life.

Barracudaincork

It means he has his own life and his relationship with you is part of that life, but its not all of his life, you too should feel the same.

Its more healthy to do some things without your partner than to do everything only with your partner.

Surely you want time to yourself and to do things by yourself too????

RossFixxxed

It depends on what the things are firstly. But mainly it means he has his own life too!

barbie princess

but here's the thing we share friends and it was a organised trip but the bf put me off going sayin be waste and all and next thing he's basically sayin he's going and mite stay over??

RossFixxxed

Maybe the friends don't want you there? Maybe they don't like you really?

Are they all male? Is it a blokes trip?

Maybe he wants time with mates with out the missus in tow?

It's hard to judge on 1 or two lines in a post, it's like an episode of bloody Lost, all questions no answers!

Barracudaincork

Are you thinking he said he didnt want to go so that you would say you arent going either and then he changed his mind, once he knew the coast was clear and you werent going?

It very well maybe that he just changed his mind after hearing your friends all talk about it. Can you not do the same and go if you want to?

An ex of mine said he couldnt get time off work to go somewhere i wanted for an event. Then low and behold when the "boys" all wanted to go, he could get the time off work. In fairness i was pi$$ed at first, but i also knew that he would have a blast on this break with the boys and that i couldnt take that away from him. Relationships are about give and take and what makes sense or is fair at times, its not necessarily about what we want ourselves.

barbie princess

ye it was kinda lik put me off going so he could go wit the lads even though there all my friends too... no problem in me going but im sure he'll change his mind then say he's not stayin ya know

i realise a realtionship doesn last without a bit of give and take but he usually goes training on saturdays and he's taken it off this weekend to do somethin wit his brother and somethin wit his club that nite and then wants to piss off for the day next saturday wit all my friends while i sit at home.... and wait for the expected text to say hes gonna stay in wit one the lads

ah relationships are exhausting

RossFixxxed

Have you talked to him about this?

irlirishkev

barbie princess wrote: »

ah relationships are exhausting

Shouldn't be really.. Do you like to do anything that doesn't involve him, or do you try to involve him in everything?

I've been with the gf for nearly 4 years, and we still do plenty of things separately, from going running, cinema,(she hates gore, I hate romcoms), seeing different friends in the pub, even going away separately sometimes.. But all the above, we also do together sometimes too. It's good for the soul I think, and makes together-time all the better.

I'd go nuts without my own space, I think most people would be the same. But as previously suggested, talk to him if it's really getting you down. As I said, relationships *shouldn't* be exhausting!

StormWarrior

barbie princess wrote: »

ye it was kinda lik put me off going so he could go wit the lads even though there all my friends too... no problem in me going but im sure he'll change his mind then say he's not stayin ya know

i realise a realtionship doesn last without a bit of give and take but he usually goes training on saturdays and he's taken it off this weekend to do somethin wit his brother and somethin wit his club that nite and then wants to piss off for the day next saturday wit all my friends while i sit at home.... and wait for the expected text to say hes gonna stay in wit one the lads

ah relationships are exhausting

Sounds like an ex of mine.... he also spent alot more time doing his own thing than with me.... eventually I came to the realisation that he just wasn't that into me!

btw the more you put up with it, the more you're letting him do it. Of course he can have his own friends and interests but it sounds like you come way down on his list of priorities.

Liam Byrne

StormWarrior wrote: »

Sounds like an ex of mine.... he also spent alot more time doing his own thing than with me.... eventually I came to the realisation that he just wasn't that into me!

btw the more you put up with it, the more you're letting him do it. Of course he can have his own friends and interests but it sounds like you come way down on his list of priorities.

Sorry, but unless there's extremes of that behaviour (and ALL extremes are bad), then having a lot of time to yourself is not a bad thing (and it's also no reason to trot out that unbelieveably irritating Americanism!)

I for one could be mad about someone but go mental if we were in constant contact and didn't do our own things at least half of the time.

StormWarrior

No-one is saying that they should have constant contact but the signs here are not looking good. He devotes every Saturday to training, I'm guessing they either work or study during weekdays so you'd think he'd want to spend time with her in the evening but he's going on the piss with his mates instead, going on holiday without her AND won't take time off from training to spend with her but will take the time off to spend with his brother. If it was just one or two of these things he was doing, it would be one thing, but he doesn't really seem that keen to spend much time with her at all. OP, what's he like when you are together?

barbie princess

we do see each other during the week though... suppose im jus bit of freak when comes weekend because i believe you should spend time together as durin the week you only get few hours

theres problem in doing seperate things as we were friends before we got together so my friends our his friends ya know... i do though step aside and allow the lads down pub or lads poker nites

sometimes it is good spend time apart but come on every saturday??

Barracudaincork

barbie princess wrote: »

we do see each other during the week though... suppose im jus bit of freak when comes weekend because i believe you should spend time together as durin the week you only get few hours

theres problem in doing seperate things as we were friends before we got together so my friends our his friends ya know... i do though step aside and allow the lads down pub or lads poker nites

sometimes it is good spend time apart but come on every saturday??

Judging by the fact you say "allow" him to go out with the lads and poker nights, you sound possessive and controlling (whether you are or not, that is the way it comes accross) I wouldnt like that or tolerate that in a partner, maybe he is begining to feel that way too?? Just a thought OP.

barbie princess

i dont think its controlling just think that fair is fair .. ok if he's spending nite in with me no prob going pub for few drinks in evening

anyway i love him to death and i really think he's the man i wanna marry so i suppose i could learn to be bit more relaxed 'sometimes'

but one saturdays fine but 2 in a row wow so not fair on me

Barracudaincork

barbie princess wrote: »

i dont think its controlling just think that fair is fair .. ok if he's spending nite in with me no prob going pub for few drinks in evening

anyway i love him to death and i really think he's the man i wanna marry so i suppose i could learn to be bit more relaxed 'sometimes'

but one saturdays fine but 2 in a row wow so not fair on me

Its lovely to hear you feel that strongly for him, congrats on that!

I agree i think it would do you both the world of good if you relaxed a little more...........easier said than done, but at least you're gonna try!

Re spending two saturdays in a row without you, just let it go for this instance and if the issues happens to arise again and it upsets you the same then deal with it and tell him in a calm manner your not happy about it. In the meantime, its summer go out and have some fun yourself these saturdays and make some new friends in the process:)

StormWarrior

Have you spoken to him about how you feel? Maybe you can work out an arrangement that you're both happy with.