Strange One!

LegacyUser

Hi there,

This is kind of trivial compared to a lot of other posters issues but I'd appreciate some ideas and feedback on this one.
I'm a average 24 year old south Dublin lad, clean cut, good background etc that's been studying over in Florida U.S.A. for the past year.
Last March I met a very pretty American Waitress age 21 working in a local diner I frequent. She flirted a lot with me and I decide to ask her out but before I did she asked me out on a date, gave me her number etc. She's into wildlife and things so she suggested going to a gator park - interesting place for a first date!
Anyway she picked me up and looked a lot different than she did in the diner uniform - body tatoos, piercings etc, rap music blaring from the radio - not really my type but I figured give it a chance and try something different. All during the drive there we chatted, had a laugh and so on but when we got to the park she seemed to totally clam up. So I kept the conversation going as best I could and tried to keep it fun and light but she seemed distracted and shy the whole time. During the drive back she said next to nothing which was even more awkward. when She dropped me off I gave her a kiss on the cheek and thanked her not really expecting to see her outside of work again and not particularly wanting to either.
By complete chance we cross paths again in a bar that night and actually have a good time chatting again. She drops me home and I give her a wildlife book I got her a few days before but had forgotten to give her after the date. She's really pleased with it and I'm happy that I got her something she liked. At this stage I just see her as a friend.
So a few days later I'm in the restaurant again, she's there comes over and is flirty again, says she had a dream about me and asks if I want to go to dinner later - I've no plans so I accept.
We go to dinner, lots of chat and laughter, really good time and we kind of click. At the end of the night we have a romantic moment and I lean over and kiss her on the mouth - very nice kiss. She seems really happy.
Get a goodnight, sweet dreams text later from her. So I'm seeing her in a different light now.
After that she did a complete 180 and ignored me if I saw her, texted her or called her. This went on for about a week before I took the hint. Turns out she wanted some married friend of hers to be her boyfriend I eventually found out. So I was kinda bummed - probably more so because she just acted ignorant and blanked me instead of just telling me straight out. So I decide to go home for a month because I was kind of homesick at the time anyway. She doesn't even bother to see, call or even text me to say goodbye before I went which really hurt for some reason.
I go home and meet my family and friends, have a great time, meet other girls etc and go back to the U.S.A. refreshed and the american girl is out of my system. I see her again last week and feel completely indifferent to her and treat her kind of cooly given how she went on before I left. She's trying to be flirty etc but see's I'm not interested and looks dejected. She calls a few times asking to go out and I refuse but eventually I cave figuring maybe she's changed a bit or something. Go for dinner , we both have a great time and at the end of the night I stupidly lean in for a kiss and get the cheek treatment.
After this she goes back to her old ways blanking me etc if I see her so I 've basically given up and don't care anymore tbh at this stage - life's too short and there are other fish in the sea.
I'm just confused in so far as what exactly her game is....when I'm not interested - not trying to be big headed - she is all over me and when I am interested she blanks me. Weird...any ideas and sorry for the length!

Dord

Forget about her, she's just playing stupid childish games.

beks101

Yeah some girls are just like this. Some guys are, too. 'Want what they can't have,' so to speak and when something seemingly becomes unavailable they want it even more. I used to be like this, when I was fifteen.

But most people grow out of those games....she obviously hasn't. As you said, plenty of fish in the sea. You're in Florida, live it up OP!!

ManOfMystery

Sounds like she is pining after this other married guy but wants to keep her options open so occasionally flirts & goes on dates with you when it suits her. Very childish indeed, but luckily for you there are a few other billion women on this planet so my advice is MOVE ON! Just be cool with her as you were doing before, but don't cave in this time.

iHeartRyanAdams

you sound far too considerate and nice for that sort of treatment, that was so nice about the wildlife book.
i'd just ignore her!!
perhaps avoid that diner?

RossFixxxed

You sound like you've been a total gent in all this (the wildlife book is a really nice touch), but she seems to be messing around. Maybe it's the American's attitude to dating, but she sounds like she's just playing games.

I'd move on tbh. You don't seem to have (and this is only from your one post) a big spark for her!

r

Taltos

Hi OP


sounds like you are just being played here.
Forget her and move on. Don't react to her flirts etc - all about control.
She might flirt more etc short-term - but ignore now to avoid the long term pain.

Things happen for a reason, next time will hopefully be different.
Just remember - everyone is different, hopefully the next girl you meet will be a decent one.

Oh The Humanity

she just acted ignorant and blanked me instead of just telling me straight out

She is not interested in you at all, which is seriously HER LOSS as you sound really bang on!

She is only interested in someone to play with to boost her ego/try to make the married guy jealous etc

She is selfish and immature, you are way better than that so blank her and let some much more worthy girl be thet lucky recipient of your thoughtfulness and all round bang on-ness!

tbh

ask her this question:

"what do you want from me? Just so as I know how to act".

legend365

If she was trying to boost her ego by doing this...


..I'd drop her a few pegs by jst refusing to flirt or be interested. Jst treat her like a mate and ignore her flirting blatenly. She'll feel like a tool hopefully

catratbat

Too many fish in the sea for you to be wasting time on a twat like that.

Ye seem lovely and there are plenty of girls who won't use you for a backup plan/ego boost/past time...

Ignore her...

wasper

Unregistered24 wrote: »

Hi there,

This is kind of trivial compared to a lot of other posters issues but I'd appreciate some ideas and feedback on this one.
I'm a average 24 year old south Dublin lad, clean cut, good background etc that's been studying over in Florida U.S.A. for the past year.
Last March I met a very pretty American Waitress age 21 working in a local diner I frequent. She flirted a lot with me and I decide to ask her out but before I did she asked me out on a date, gave me her number etc. She's into wildlife and things so she suggested going to a gator park - interesting place for a first date!
Anyway she picked me up and looked a lot different than she did in the diner uniform - body tatoos, piercings etc, rap music blaring from the radio - not really my type but I figured give it a chance and try something different. All during the drive there we chatted, had a laugh and so on but when we got to the park she seemed to totally clam up. So I kept the conversation going as best I could and tried to keep it fun and light but she seemed distracted and shy the whole time. During the drive back she said next to nothing which was even more awkward. when She dropped me off I gave her a kiss on the cheek and thanked her not really expecting to see her outside of work again and not particularly wanting to either.
By complete chance we cross paths again in a bar that night and actually have a good time chatting again. She drops me home and I give her a wildlife book I got her a few days before but had forgotten to give her after the date. She's really pleased with it and I'm happy that I got her something she liked. At this stage I just see her as a friend.
So a few days later I'm in the restaurant again, she's there comes over and is flirty again, says she had a dream about me and asks if I want to go to dinner later - I've no plans so I accept.
We go to dinner, lots of chat and laughter, really good time and we kind of click. At the end of the night we have a romantic moment and I lean over and kiss her on the mouth - very nice kiss. She seems really happy.
Get a goodnight, sweet dreams text later from her. So I'm seeing her in a different light now.
After that she did a complete 180 and ignored me if I saw her, texted her or called her. This went on for about a week before I took the hint. Turns out she wanted some married friend of hers to be her boyfriend I eventually found out. So I was kinda bummed - probably more so because she just acted ignorant and blanked me instead of just telling me straight out. So I decide to go home for a month because I was kind of homesick at the time anyway. She doesn't even bother to see, call or even text me to say goodbye before I went which really hurt for some reason.
I go home and meet my family and friends, have a great time, meet other girls etc and go back to the U.S.A. refreshed and the american girl is out of my system. I see her again last week and feel completely indifferent to her and treat her kind of cooly given how she went on before I left. She's trying to be flirty etc but see's I'm not interested and looks dejected. She calls a few times asking to go out and I refuse but eventually I cave figuring maybe she's changed a bit or something. Go for dinner , we both have a great time and at the end of the night I stupidly lean in for a kiss and get the cheek treatment.
After this she goes back to her old ways blanking me etc if I see her so I 've basically given up and don't care anymore tbh at this stage - life's too short and there are other fish in the sea.
I'm just confused in so far as what exactly her game is....when I'm not interested - not trying to be big headed - she is all over me and when I am interested she blanks me. Weird...any ideas and sorry for the length!

Why do you keep going back to the same restaurant. Delete her number & move on.

RuailleBuaille

She wants you to want her.

The reply to this question might interest you.

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/aunt_sally/article6273478.ece

I think you should move on and don't waste yourself on her.