Scared of rushing things!

LegacyUser

ok bit of background first - I am almost a year out of a pretty bad relationship, I gave myself that time to rebuild my self confidence and make sure I was totally over my ex.

Anyway I met a really lovely man at the weekend. He is a friend of a friend and we seemed to just hit it off. We all headed back to a party at his house (few of the lads live together) and I spent the night in his room with him just kissing and chatting (no sex - just wanted to be alone so we could kiss and chat in peace and not be scoring like a bunch of teenagers with our friends all around). Stayed chatting and hung out for most of sunday.

Soon as I left paranoia kicked in a little - I was worried he wouldnt get in touch after spending the night together, even though we did not have sex ( I am not into one night stands) I just don't make a habit of spending a night with a lad first time i meet him, and I was paranoid that he would think I did or something, I don't know!

He text monday morning and we chatted via text for a bit and he asked if I would like to meet up again so we have arranged to do something at the weekend. Am looking forward to meeting up with him - scared and exited, something i have not felt in a long time. Although I am afraid to let myself relax and just be happy

so I suppose I am just looking for some pointers. I have been a long while off the dating scene and my self esteem really took a knocking with my ex. I think I could really like this guy and so far I get the impression he likes me too. I don't want to rush things coz I would like to see if something could happen between us. There is part of me that wud jump into bed with him in a heartbeat because he is so nice and we seem to click but I don't want to mess things up by sleeping together too soon. I suppose I want to avoid having to be all serious and making an issue of asking him to wait , I want things to happen naturally but at the same time i just want to enjoy getting to know each other without making it all about sex. At same time I don't want him to think I am being a prick tease.

sorry i know it's a bit ranty and i am completely over-thinking the situation it's just that it has been a while and even though I am now completely over my ex and in a position where I can be with someone new, I suppose I am just a bit afraid of messing things up!

labradoodlelady

First up congrats OP, you sound like you like this guy which is great!

Dates can be great fun or they can be awful! Just relax, have fun and enjoy yourself! You already spent a lot of time on Sunday together so you know that ye get on together. Be friendly, and chatty. Avoid talking about the ex and don't say something like I shouldn't have stayed over on Sat, there's no need to!

Now, if you go on a date with him it doesn't mean that you have to stay over at his (vice versa) or if you stay over at his it doesn't mean you have to sleep with him.

Just go on the date at the weekend and see how you get on. If all is good, which hopefully it will be, then go on another date!

If things are getting hot and heavy be it after one date or be it after 8 , and you don't feel ready just say I think we should wait a while or I'm not ready yet or something. Truthfully, if he's a nice guy he won't make an issue out of it. You'll know when it feels right to sleep with him.

Good luck and enjoy it!!