Relationship Problems

LegacyUser

Hi,

I am looking for advise good or bad all is welcomed.

A little back ground, I am a college student' living with partner and todler my baby. Me and my partner both work. I am in college well just started and my partner is almost finished.

The problem is that my love for her is dieing and am unhappy with her. I feel I can't leave her because we have a kid and I have no parent and no other income apart from the little wages I get. At the moment we live togther as a family so we manage to survive. I don't get grant so that is another problem.

There is another woman who I have been talking to lately, she makes me happy even though I don't know here. Nothing has ever happend and I don't believe in cheating. But I am unhyappy with my current situation. Without my current partner I won't have a way to get to work she helps me a lot.

The Question is should I continue to put on this mask of happiness because I wan't my baby to be with both parents. She can't survive finacially without me nor can I do it without her but I have no love for her. She talks about how much she loves me. She was my first ever woman and I was stupid enough to get her pregnant. She has more experiencce with men and stuff etc basically I am not her first. I am also scared of finding another woman scared of std and stuffs.

I love my son and I don't want to leave him, even if am in a happy relationship. This this bad? I am stressed and unhappy plus poor sex life. I know one of these days I am going to cheat on her.

Am I being childish am in my early 20s < 23 she is >23.

prinz

Flamed_GRill wrote: »

Hi,
The problem is that my love for her is dieing and am unhappy with her.

Any idea why? Sounds like a stressful time for both of you, work, college, child, financially........ is it that you're not in love anymore, or that you're stressed, worried, depressed, looking for a way out.. etc, and you're focusing all this on your partner rather than looking at the picture as a whole?

Flamed_GRill wrote: »

There is another woman who I have been talking to lately, she makes me happy even though I don't know here.

Chat to her online I suppose? More escapism and looking for a way out.

Nothing has ever happend and I don't believe in cheating. But I am unhyappy with my current situation. Without my current partner I won't have a way to get to work she helps me a lot.

Flamed_GRill wrote: »

r. She talks about how much she loves me. She was my first ever woman and I was stupid enough to get her pregnant. She has more experiencce with men and stuff etc basically I am not her first. I am also scared of finding another woman scared of std and stuffs.

All absolutely irrelevant, apart from the obvious that you're just going through a period of what if's...... especially after just starting college, looking at the young people with no kids, partners to look after, many with no financial worries. It's perfectly natural to wonder how you have ended up where you have, when life could have been so different. Obviously having a tough time lately so you are not going to be that happy with your situation, but look at it this way, you have a partner who loves you, you're both getting an education, you have a healthy (presumably) child.... that's a hell of a lot more than what others have. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

From

Flamed_GRill wrote: »

Nothing has ever happend and I don't believe in cheating.....

to

Flamed_GRill wrote: »

I am stressed and unhappy plus poor sex life. I know one of these days I am going to cheat on her.

Interesting turn around. If you don't believe in it, don't do it. It won't help you, her, or your child.

quote=Flamed_GRill;60315030]Am I being childish am in my early 20s < 23 she is >23.[/quote]

In a word yes. Stop thinking of yourself, and put the same effort into saving your relationship. Nothing is going to change unless you want it to, and put effort into it. Life isn't always greener on the other side.

This smacks of less about your partner and more about you personally and how you view your life.

LegacyUser

op here,

Thanks I just can't think straight anymore and now I just found out I lost 1 of 2 jobs. I don't know how am feeling I can't even think anymore.

achmairt

Keep it zipped this time, it got u where u are now - right?
I feel sorry for that poor girl. Why not take her out an odd time with your son - even for a walk in the park. It costs nothing and u might discover what you had before u started feeling sorry for yourself. U have a lot of heartache in store for u if u don't make some effort to make the relationship work. Your son wont think much of you in years to come if u abandon him now. Kids remember their early years growing up A LOT (do u?)
Stop feeling sorry for yourself - u got yourself into this situation.
You'll get another job - keep searching. Start chatting to people - sit on a park bench (when weather permits Ha) and you will be amazed at the information u can get - like a vacancy somewhere. Employers shy away from advertising for jobs now coz of the amount of people who apply.
Good luck - your life is only starting - u decide who u are going to be !!!

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

op here,

Thanks I just can't think straight anymore and now I just found out I lost 1 of 2 jobs. I don't know how am feeling I can't even think anymore.

Op that says it all. Don't do anything.You don't know what you're feeling, you're life has been through a lot of changes recently. Stay put, and put your worries about your partner on the back burner.Deal with your other problems first, and try to stop talking to whoever it is you're talking to.She's someone new and different, and not going through the minutiae of life with you - of course she's going to be more interesting for you.

astra2000

In some ways you come across as mature wanting the best for your child and wanting him to have his parents together. But for the most part of your post you sound childish/selfish.
Stop talking to this other woman put the effort into your relationship with your gf, all relationships need time and attention, it can be easy to forget this if ye are caught up i college, work and caring for a small child. Relationships go through bad patches and if you bail at the first sign of trouble you will never have a longterm happy relationship. Forget about your gfs past and that she is more experienced than you the only relevance that has on your relationship is what YOU allow it to have.

Playboy

I really dont understand some of the responses so far .. how is the fact that he is fallen out of love with his partner make him childish, selfish, immature etc. This is a young guy here .. Just because you got someone pregnent doesnt mean you have have commited the rest of your life to her .. to your child yes but not to her.

Advice I would give is break up for the right reasons and not the wrong reasons. You might not have fallen out of love .. maybe you are just bored with your life and your relationship at the moment? When people get bored the easy way to get excitement is to start seeing someone new. But beware .. in time unless you pick the right partner and put a lot of effort into the relationship then you will get bored of any new realtionship in time too. what you dont want is to be chasing that feel good exciting honeymoon period from realtionship to relationship.

astra2000

Playboy wrote: »

I really dont understand some of the responses so far .. how is the fact that he is fallen out of love with his partner make him childish, selfish, immature etc. This is a young guy here .. Just because you got someone pregnent doesnt mean you have have commited the rest of your life to her .. to your child yes but not to her.

Advice I would give is break up for the right reasons and not the wrong reasons. You might not have fallen out of love .. maybe you are just bored with your life and your relationship at the moment? When people get bored the easy way to get excitement is to start seeing someone new. But beware .. in time unless you pick the right partner and put a lot of effort into the relationship then you will get bored of any new realtionship in time too. what you dont want is to be chasing that feel good exciting honeymoon period from realtionship to relationship.

I think what you have said in your last paragraph is what most of us mean. Relationships take work and he needs to realise this and put some effort in rather than walking away at the first sign of problems.

S23

I'd say all advice to the OP is rendered irrelevant now due to the fact the original (and last) post by the OP were made a year and a half ago. Whatever decision he made is long done now

astra2000

S23 wrote: »

I'd say all advice to the OP is rendered irrelevant now due to the fact the original (and last) post by the OP were made a year and a half ago. Whatever decision he made is long done now

ooh I missed that! wonder did he keep it zipped?:D

achmairt

He probably walked away from the problem and left the girl with holding the baby and the bills. Maybe he made another baby with the second girl - here we go again sigh !:eek:

The Recliner

achmairt wrote: »

He probably walked away from the problem and left the girl with holding the baby and the bills. Maybe he made another baby with the second girl - here we go again sigh !:eek:

Please don't resurrect old threads and please refrain from making assumptions and generalisations, it helps no one