Online Counselling? Is there such a thing?

LegacyUser

Is there such a thing as counselling online?

Briefly, I need to see someone and talk about my 'issues'. It's been a long time coming, and I'm half way there by even admitting I have a problem. So I've finally decided to see a counsellor.

My problem is money (firstly), of which I have little. My second issue is that I've recently been lucky enough to get a new job, which is great and I love it, but I can't possibly take time off to attend counselling sessions (not at the moment anyhow). I've looked into counselling in the evenings locally, but apart from the fact that my hubby works evenings and I'd have to get a sitter, they are very expensive - €80ph.

I spend most of my day on the net (I'm a researcher) and I did e-mail the samaratians recently, but they replied saying I should ring them. I can't use the phones in work for personal issues however and I never have time or enough credit when I get home in the evenings (3 kids under 6).

So I thought if I could find a service where I could email someone..not sure it'd work tbh but I seriously need to get help for stuff...I know it appears that I'm making excuses to actually go and see someone. I'd say in 6 months I'll be in a better position in the new job to take time off, and financially, I'll have more money, so honestly, it's not an excuse. And in the interim, I need to discuss my problems with someone.
Thanks

LegacyUser

Hi,
a lot of colleges offer low-cost counselling (some even free) with their student counsellors. worth getting in touch with them, or even try gumtree.ie for low cost counselling and you might find something that suits you.

Victor

The Samaritans do provide a service where you can e-mail them - jo@smaritans.org

Can I suggest that you don't do your e-mailing from work, they can do without knowing your personal problems.

I imagine person-to-person counselling is more useful. Perhaps get in touch with the likes of AWARE www.aware.ie and attend some group sessions - actually, you don't explain what your problem is, but AWARE mostly deal with mental health issues.

Nevyn

Counselling has to be face to face and the most important reason is so that the counsellor can see you reactions, a lot of communication is lost when it is just verbal or text.

There are counsellors which are willing to work weekends and tbh your health is important
if you need to get a sitter then look at getting one.

LegacyUser

OP again.

My 'problems' are in relation to my mother and our relationship (or lack of) and now that I have kids myself, I realise how dysfunctional it was. She's deceased over 5yrs now, so there's no closure persay and I'm having a difficult time with it...

I did email the samaritans at that address but like I said, they emailed me back and suggested I ring them....

Nevyn

You can't under go a counselling process while in work and having to focus on work.

http://www.aimfamilyservices.ie/services.html
http://www.fsa.ie/search/search.php?e=10&q=counselling&s=0
http://dundalkonline.ie/index.php?id=88
http://marleyparkmedicalcentre.com/

There are weekend and evening option and most clinics have a means tested sliding scale for fees.

LegacyUser

OP again.

What do you mean thaedyl? That I'd have to take time off work to go through the process? I wouldn't be emailiing from work...I'd be using the online service in the mornings or for an hour the odd evening..I can't take time off work as it's a relatively new job and time off isn't an option at the moment unfortunately.

Nevyn

Counseling needs to be face to face.
There are services which you can avail of at weekend and in the evenings some even do call outs to your home.

LegacyUser

But why does it need to be face to face?

I use many online forums that offer advice/support (this one for example!) and I was hoping I could just write it all down and someone would be at the other end, helping me out...

Seriously, money is an issue, time is an issue and I can't commit to attending an actual counsellor at the moment. Like I said, in about 6 months, things will change

I have also moved to a new area and have no sitter. And please don't say there must be someone, because if there was, I'd have asked them to mind the three kids while I go and do this for my sanity. There is no one I can ask to mind the kids for a couple of hours once a week. No one. I have fallen out with my family recently and my hubby is an only child and both parents are deceased. We have no one to help us out with the kids.

My name is URL

Can I just butt in and say that it might be a better idea to start the process with your GP, who will have a better understanding of your circumstances and will know exactly what route you should go down. They'll also know if a means-tested counsilling session would be available for you.

If work is the only thing stopping you from seeking help then you should talk to your boss, or if that's not an option, just call in sick after you've seen your doctor and gotten an appointment with a therapist.

btw, some therapists provide a creche service for the time you're there. It wouldn't be free however

aare

Thaedydal wrote: »

Counseling needs to be face to face.
There are services which you can avail of at weekend and in the evenings some even do call outs to your home.

I am going to underline what Thaedydal has said here, because it happens to be an area I know a great deal about, and everything I know about online counselling and support screams "bad news".

It is actually at the stage where I would suggest that a shortcut to evaluating a counsellor is to see if they offer "online counselling" and if they do, STAY AWAY...

Lots of counsellors offer a sliding scale. But regardless, if you cannot afford the right kind of face to face help, for now...the wrong kind of help would NOT be the "next best thing"...truly.

Stay away from online counselling...there are some exceptionally unscrupulous "practitioners" out there.

LegacyUser

god now I'm afraid!

Seriously though, society has moved on so much and we now all use the internet in our everyday lives (well, I do anyway!). I am genuinely surprised that you'd tell me to stay away from online counselling.

In hindsight, I guess it could be open to all sorts of abuse though...how would I know the practioner was indeed, a practioner..?

I dunno what I'm gonna do...I just got this job and would not be in a position to talk to my boss about somethingg so personal. We're all under major scrutiny and having performance appraisals every month, and any issue is cause for dismissal so I don't really want to ring in sick...I'm just stuck in an awful rut at the moment. I'm finaly admitting to myself that I have 'issues' but finding it incredibly difficult to get them sorted.

ellie1

aare wrote: »

I am going to underline what Thaedydal has said here, because it happens to be an area I know a great deal about, and everything I know about online counselling and support screams "bad news".

It is actually at the stage where I would suggest that a shortcut to evaluating a counsellor is to see if they offer "online counselling" and if they do, STAY AWAY...

Lots of counsellors offer a sliding scale. But regardless, if you cannot afford the right kind of face to face help, for now...the wrong kind of help would NOT be the "next best thing"...truly.

Stay away from online counselling...there are some exceptionally unscrupulous "practitioners" out there.

I think that is also shocking. Who are them counsellors who provide that service? Are they not trained? Thats just like boards personal issues charging people for advice given. You really would not know what your getting into or who is on the end of the computer. Can that service not be reported?

Op, where are you located? You really could find low cost to no cost counselling in a number of places in Dublin. There is evening and weekend counselling as well.

Nevyn

Someone trying to cousell via pc is not aware of all your reactions and when to push and ask and hard questions and when to stop and give you a chance to collect yourself or time to cry and comfort you if needed.

All of the above are why it is has to be face to face.

Seriously congratulations on geting to the stage where you know there are issues and wanting to sort them out, you just have to find away to make it happen in your life.
IS there a family member or someone who can mind the children?

Why is the weekend not an option?

LegacyUser

Really, I'm not exaggerating when I say that there is no one to mind the kids. Hubby works weekends too - lost his job a while back and is now working 2 (menial) jobs to get us through..

aare

Unregistered wrote: »

In hindsight, I guess it could be open to all sorts of abuse though...how would I know the practioner was indeed, a practioner..?

Bottom line:

You wouldn't...

...and you wouldn't even have as many instincts to guide you online.

Unregistered wrote: »

I dunno what I'm gonna do...I just got this job and would not be in a position to talk to my boss about somethingg so personal. We're all under major scrutiny and having performance appraisals every month, and any issue is cause for dismissal so I don't really want to ring in sick...I'm just stuck in an awful rut at the moment. I'm finaly admitting to myself that I have 'issues' but finding it incredibly difficult to get them sorted.

I wonder if you could get early morning appointments? Before work?

I get the impression they do that a LOT in the states.

Another thing that occurs to me, counselling can be very destabilising, in the sense of things getting worse before they get better...and that can be unpredictable.

Though you are obviously ready emotionally, I think you need to ask yourself if you are in the right material position to handle that right now?

It could cause a lot of internal upheaval that your life doesn't need at present...and your problems will still be there AFTER you are more settled in your new job and your life...trust me, they don't just "go away"...

My name is URL

Unregistered wrote: »

Really, I'm not exaggerating when I say that there is no one to mind the kids. Hubby works weekends too - lost his job a while back and is now working 2 (menial) jobs to get us through..

I don't really see what other advice people can give you tbh.

It's up to you to find someone to watch the kids if you're serious about seeking help. Lots of people are in the same boat when it comes to child-minding. Do yourself and your kids a favor and seek the help you say you need, because it seems that you're hiding behind your kids atm, at least to me.

Tell your husband to take a day off to mind the kids... Your health is more valuable than a day's lost pay

Nevyn

Unregistered wrote: »

Really, I'm not exaggerating when I say that there is no one to mind the kids. Hubby works weekends too - lost his job a while back and is now working 2 (menial) jobs to get us through..

If your financial issues are that bad then you should look to see if you can apply for Family income supplement and at cutting back your own goings.


http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/social-welfare/social-welfare-payments/social-welfare-payments-to-families-and-children/family_income_supplement

LegacyUser

Hi Op,

Sounds like your in chasing your tail a bit,


The added stress of all the money and family issues you have has probably added to your underlining issues,

Is there a way you can just assess your life where you allow yourself to settle into this job for a while, maybe put the therapy on hold, Get some self help books in your area and prepare yourself for therapy when your ready, there is a great book called ' toxic parents' and it also helps you write a letter to your parent to finally confront the issues you have, weather you send it or not is another thing but the book will guide you to whats right for you,

I would suggest doing a clas of yoga, reading and writing for now something where you are giving some attention to yourself but not having to stretch yourself further,


Also there is some things i watch on line a lot Oprah's soul series was brilliant, and its all free and can be downloaded on your ipod, it means even if you go for a walk you can get some self help and release.

Also could you discuss some things with your husband and try and get some loving support,

Best of luck op xx

orestes

I'm currently in counselling for depression and related issues and I can honestly tell you that online counselling is one of the most dangerous things I can imagine, for many of the reasons that have been pointed out by Thaedydal and aare. Best of luck with getting help and sorting out your situation so you can do so, but please stay away from online counselling, it is far too dangerous and open to abuse by unqualified people no matter how well intentioned they might be, not to mention the possiblity of people who are not well intentioned and are just unscrupulous.

LegacyUser

Firstly, thank you all for taking the time to reply - sometimes you really just want someone to listen to you and not say 'here we go again...'
This issue has been with me all my life and the previous poster was right, sometimes when my life gets difficult in other areas, the issue of my relationship with my mother rears it's ugly head and I think 'Hey, I must actually deal with that!'.

Anyway, I would honestly not have thought of the pitfalls of online counselling, I really wouldn't. I feel a bit ridiculous now tbh, because of course there would and could be major pitfalls.

I'll figure something out but like someone else said, I'll probably wait a while until I'm settled in this new job, have gotten to know a neighbour or two and found someone to mind kids.

Thanks again, even this thread has helped me enormously