Not living up to my potential...

popecatapetal

This is a pretty minor problem, compared to a lot of the threads on here, but it's been bugging me lately.

Basically, I'm worried about not being as motivated as my family wants me to be. I'm quite smart, and I've just finished my degree, but I don't really have particularly high aspirations in life. My family have always assured me that I'll be great, that I'll get a good job, that I'll make important discoveries, and so on. It was basically just family being supportive, I think, but it's made me start thinking about what I want.

And I've come up with a pretty short list...
I want to be a housewife. Have a couple of kids, do parent stuff, cook and clean, have a nice house, have some pets, learn an instrument, maybe have an office job later, and go on holidays occasionally.

I don't want the huge things that other people seem to want, or that my family expect me to aim for... When I mentioned it to my boyfriend, he said that I should be trying to be the best I can be, cos it'd be a waste otherwise, and he thinks I'm just settling for that sort of life cos I'm lazy...

I'm probably just worrying about nothing. I should just aim for the things that I think will make me happy, and at least I know what some of those are. But it worries me that people might think less of me for not trying to be great, when all I want to be is average.

Nevyn

If you suceed at everything you have listed above and are happy then you are far from not living up to your potiental and you will not be living an average life and if you make a loving, happy and supportive home for your children then that is a far from a wasted life.

Liber8or

I think you are spending too much time worrying about the future. If you just finished your degree, and I assume you started it after secondary school, I estimate you are around 21/22. If that is the case, then stop worrying, you have your whole life ahead of you.

Sure, you may want to have the relaxed life of being a Mom and an office job, why wouldn't you? It seems a hell of a lot easier than what you have been through in the last few years.

Did you enjoy your Degree and the type of work it is associated with? Can you see yourself in some sort of employment relating to it? If so, then pursue that if you want. Or take some time out and get any job and live for the moment.

You need to stop listening to those voices around you and do what you want to do. Everything is relative and if some people think having children and being a house wife is a waste of talent or ambition then tell them where to stick it. It is a perfectly acceptable and admirable quality. You have your own life, do what you want with it, because at your age, it goes fast.

Give yourself at least a year of relaxing and taking things easy to discover what you want. Then start thinking about these things. Who knows? You might even find the "normal" life too boring and want excitement and challenge back in it before you know it!

smk89

I used to think that education and achieving my potential was everything in life but then one day I realised it wasn't what I want. Now all I want is good friends and a good life. And no dead end job will ever bring me down (though I still want a good job though).

Skyhawk1990

If it's what you want go for it don't let your family stop you. Get what YOU want out of life not what your family want.

2Scoops

Is it also possible that you have a subconscious fear of failure and want to avoid things that are challenging in case you disappoint your family? In that case, your modest ambitions will be much more satisfying than the stressful existence that is trying to reach that BS goal of 'your inner potential.'

Similar boat OP but its me myself that feels i need to have more ambitions/drive. I haven't the supportive or ambitious family...my only goal is to have a successful family. I don't think thats such a small ambition. Be like me....work to live, dont live to work.

Since you're only 22 i would say, do something you are interested in. If you're not sure what that is...do something that you can travel with.

LegacyUser

I think many people have a natural desire to have a happy family and a comfortable, stress-free life. Over the past 50 years people, especially women, have moved away from what is natural to them and seek to pursue goals and careers that they think they should be aiming for. Media and society have undermined to role of mother/homemaker to such an extent that decent, well meaning people like the OP have begun to doubt the importance of this role. Being a father/mother to your children is probably the most important job you will ever do. If its your aim in life to do this properly then be proud of your choice and don't let anybody muddy your thoughts. Your children will thank you for it in the end and you will thank youself too.

dyl10

Potential and success are overrated.
The most important thing is happiness.

RossFixxxed

If you are happy with what you do then you've got one up on most people. Do what brings you satisfaction and happiness, the rest is over rated.

Though I must admit this is a case of do what I say not what I do. I often feel the same way as the OP. It's hard to balance the two, and I don't have a clue what *I* want to do. The fact you have an idea of this is great, ignore other people's expectations.

r

tonsiltickler

You sound like a real nice person, always remeber life is too short to plz other ppl, do the things you want to do and be the person you wanna be

Oh The Humanity

There seems to be two types of people in life:

1. Those who view life as a huge competition, take on a lot and attempt to excel at status related stuff.
(Fine if thats what you are into, but if others aren't leave them alone!)

2. People who want to enjoy the journey and are not interested in living their lives to impress others.

You sounds more like the second. I think you are wise in knowing what you want.

Tell them you have made the important discovery that you know what makes you happy and you are going to do that!