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Lost all confidence since having my child.

  • 14-05-2009 3:38pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have a 5 year old son, and am a single parent.

    I have completely and utterly lost all my confidence in the past 5 years. I used to be full of life, 'bubbly' some would say. I had many, many friends and we went out regulary. I have had 3 long term relationships, the last one being with my sons father. Him and I split when my son was a baby, he is a great father and we have both moved on with our lives.

    So I need to 'get back out there' so to speak. I have had enough of being single (yes, for five years). I have devoted the past 5years to raising my son, working full-time and buying my own home. But I am terribly lonely and want to meet someone to share my life with.

    But my confidence and self-esteem are at an all time low. I've put on weight and feel very unattractive and know that no-one would take a second glance at me if I went out to a pub/club and so I can count on one hand, the number of times I've gone out in the past five years. I look awful, even when I get dressed up. I really don't know where to begin to start becoming 'myself' again. Help?


Comments

  • #2
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    Hi OP - its SOOOO common for this to happen to women. I have known a number of friends its happened to, self esteem just took a nose dive after having a baby.

    Here are some tips to start improving that self esteem.
    Start exercising - itll help release good endorphins and youll lose weight as well.
    Get yourself well groomed - by that I mean hair, nails, toenails, tan (you can do all this yourself).
    When you are groomed to within an inch of your life go out shopping and buy something that fits and suits your figure - so what if theres extra poundage? If its dressed well its gonna look great.

    And then after all that pampering, join something where you can meet other singles - preferably male singles. Or if you meet female singles, start organising places to go with them.

    I know YOU think you look terrible - but I betcha the world thinks you look grand. Looking good is 90% confidence and grooming. So start on the grooming and let the confidence follow.

    Oh and join weight watchers and go to that too - itll help meet new people AND get some weight off.


  • #3
    Oh The Humanity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,324 ✭✭✭Oh The Humanity


    I agree, weight watchers is a great place to start, because its fun adn everyone is in the same boat. There is no show off Gym Bunnies smugly strutting about in leotards as in a Gym!

    Also note they DO NOT call out your weight in front of everyone. You go up one by one and meet the teacher at the scales, anyway no one else is trying to know your weight cos they are too busy thinking about their own.

    Almost everyone there is there alone too so its good.

    Also, it doesn't all revolve around weight and how you look. God we all have our good and bad days, one day where we feel hopelessly ugly and others when we feel better!!!

    Just start off with meeting people in general, not just men but everyone! Your confidence will slowly build.

    Also well done on getting your son to 5 alone and buying your own house....! Thats some going!


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