Is it possible to move on after a break-up without getting any answers?

LegacyUser

As the title suggests, broke up with boyfriend of a few years a few weeks ago. He didnt treat me particularly well. He was always broke and had money issues. I have questions for him on areas which affect people/area where I live. Basically he can leave when he wants-he is not tied here. I was born and bread here. I get the impression he has made a bit of a fool out of me money-wise and I cant get any straight answers-from anyone including him.

Its gotton to the stage where people where I live have stopped talking to me, ignore me or are just plain akward around me, including some people I would consider friends. I am still heartbroken over the ex although I am mad at him. Stories seem to be coming out left right and centre about him asking for or borrowing money.

I dont know what to do. I have asked him outright and nothing. Anything I have said he denies it, but there are too many stories and coincidences. The sad thing is (I imagine like alot of heart-broken people out there) is that I am 1/2 considering if he comes clean to forgive him. I have always stood by friends and that that you should not be with someone because you are scared to be alone, but right now I feel very alone because of all this and seems to be pushing me back to him. Am very upset and confused right now. I cannot believe he did this to me.

ellie1

I cannot believe he did this to me

Sounds like you need to believe it. Stop looking for reasons to forgive this man. I am reading between the lines here and he has obviously treated you worse than you are saying.
Start by writing here the full truth so that you can accept it.
Then kick him to the curb, he will lie continuously and continue to hurt you but only if you let him

Nervous Wreck

Agreed. My ex didn't exactly treat me too well either and she left me with a LOT of questions.... But she also left me with a lot of unnecessary heartbreak and, for that, I am willing to forget the questions and say f*ck her. You should do the same. Move onwards and upwards.

bluecell99

Oh my god ................why would you forgive him if he came clean??

Dont let yourself be fooled again.You've made the hardest move - breaking this so called relationship.Fot your future you must continue with your new found resolve and forget him.You know he is not for you.There is somebody else out there.

But you'll never find him if you give another minutes thought to this guy.

take it day by day and your recovery will be real and strong.

Just dont give in and contact him in ay shape or form or you will be back to misery and the fog.

pow wow

Yes, once you stop caring what the answers are. That comes with time, and it'll come to you eventually.

spinandscribble

when my ex broke up with me it took me very much by surprise because as far as i was concerned, there wasn't any big problems. he didn't give me any real answers as to why. things he couldn't possible tell me like "you don't love me really, you're faking" or nonsense like "you're too nice for the likes of me". i also felt i'd been taken a fool of (money wise) and just as i needed him the most i got kicked to the kirb.
over time you'll realise such a person who hasn't the decency to be straight with you as to why he broke up with you isn't any sort of man you should be dealing with anyway.

i had decided that when i eventually heard reasons (from a mutual friend) that he gave to him, i was at first shocked at his crazy logic but then realised how lucky of an escape i had. six months on i can happily say i'm definitely over him and have found someone who (when i last checked) has the spine to have an adult relationship.

LegacyUser

OP here. I just never thought that if you were with someone and you love them that they would end up treating you like a piece of crap. I always try and tell the truth, no matter how hard it is.

I am the one asking for answers while he seems to able to move on. I cannot get my head around this. Moving on is alot easier said than done, thats for sure. Im thinking even if I do get to sit down and ask him what the hell he was doing and why, Im not sure I will get answers that make sense or answers that I want to hear. He wont own up to anything-always had an excuse-always played the innocent.

Am still caught. Cause I still cant get my head around whats happened. I still have feelings for the f*cker!!!

Nervous Wreck

Honestly OP, I know where you're coming from. My ex was always totally honest with me about everything (sometimes brutally so) until the day after we broke up. Then all of a sudden it was "I can't talk about that" and "That's too awkward" and such. In the end, it's not worth it. I realised that she was being a horrible c-to the-unt and I stopped with my questions. In fact, I stopped communicating with her full stop. And honestly, the questions (now this is only a month on but) still pop in to my head once in a while... But I just tell myself "F*ck it, it's totally irrelevant now anyway" and I go about my day. You need to do similar....