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and that's how the fight started...

  • 12-05-2009 3:22pm
    #1
    Conor OH!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭


    And that's how the fight started...
    One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
    cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he
    didn't buy her a gift.
    When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still
    haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

    And that's how the fight started...

    ************************************************************************
    My wife walked into the den & asked "Whats on the
    tv?"
    I replied "Dust".
    And that's how the fight started...

    ************************************************************************

    A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
    She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
    'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really
    need you to pay me a compliment.'
    The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near
    perfect.'

    And that's how the fight started...

    ************************************************************************

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
    anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes
    from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.
    I bought her a scale.

    And that's how the fight started...

    ************************************************************************

    I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our
    anniversary?' It warmed my heart to see her face melt in
    sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a
    long time!' she said.
    So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
    And that's how the fight started...

    ************************************************************************

    My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
    while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you
    want to have sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then
    said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't
    even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
    So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

    And that's how the fight started...

    ************************************************************************

    I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light
    for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for
    $7.95.
    I told her the beer would make her look better at night
    than the cold cream.

    And that's how the fight started...

    ************************************************************************

    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
    reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip
    steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't
    you worried about the mad cow?'
    'Nah, she can order for herself.'

    And that's how the fight started...


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