Ex-boyfriend in my dreams

LegacyUser

Hey everyone,

I was in a relationship with my ex boyfriend for almost 3 years. It was an abusive relationship both physically and emotionally and i am very thankful that i eventually managed to get out of it!

I am now in a very happy relationship which i entered into around 7/8mths after i split with my ex with a guy i have known for a long time. I am crazy about this guy and i know he feels the exact same way about me and it is the best feeling ever!

Occasionally, i would have a dream in which my ex lets call him niall - would be in. We wouldn't necessarily be an item in the dream but he could be present. Does anyone have any idea why this would be?

I honestly have no feelings towards niall but resentment and hatred so why is he in my dreams?

Any advice is appreciated!
Thanks

kevmy

He was a part of your life for 3 years so of course he is going to pop up in your dreams.

I have had dreams where friends I haven't seen or talked to in years are there. It generally means nothing.

However if it is the same recurring dream that you have night after night then there might be something in it.

seanybiker

It probably happened the first time and now when you go asleep you are thinking about not dreaming of him. Thinking bout not dreaming is planting the little nugget in your mind therefore when ya do sleep he is gonna pop up in the dreams.
It doesnt mean you still have feelings for him at all.

I know it sounds funny but ill just say pink elephants. Now when your going to sleep tonight you are probably gonna think about the advise ya got in this thread and think of pink elephants. I know it does sound weird but ya will be suprised.

niallon

Seany's right, it's all about what's on your mind on the day before the dream. I wouldn't panic too much about this though, generally speaking for me I find that if one of my dreams entails a person it's usually someone who features/featured prominently in my life, it's just a memory that's burned into your mind. The only think that would mean anything is if you were thinking about "niall" whilst awake, when you are in control. Whilst asleep it is out of your hands, don't be fooled by these musings that our dreams reveal our true thoughts.

Forgive my unfortunate username by the way!

LegacyUser

This is a sign of unresolved issues with your ex. It's nothing to do with wanting him in your life or anything but there are some things that perhaps you need to address or even let go of. Any 3 year relationship will leave some kind of residue but this is even stronger as it was, unfortunatley, an abusive one and will leave imprints on you which are illustrated in your dreams. Perhaps write a letter (you don't need to send it!) to your ex saying all those things you need to say...it might help and you might find him featuring less and less in your dreams.

Unregistered wrote: »

Hey everyone,

I was in a relationship with my ex boyfriend for almost 3 years. It was an abusive relationship both physically and emotionally and i am very thankful that i eventually managed to get out of it!

I am now in a very happy relationship which i entered into around 7/8mths after i split with my ex with a guy i have known for a long time. I am crazy about this guy and i know he feels the exact same way about me and it is the best feeling ever!

Occasionally, i would have a dream in which my ex lets call him niall - would be in. We wouldn't necessarily be an item in the dream but he could be present. Does anyone have any idea why this would be?

I honestly have no feelings towards niall but resentment and hatred so why is he in my dreams?

Any advice is appreciated!
Thanks

LegacyUser

Thanking you all for comments!Have taken all on board!

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

This is a sign of unresolved issues with your ex. It's nothing to do with wanting him in your life or anything but there are some things that perhaps you need to address or even let go of. Any 3 year relationship will leave some kind of residue but this is even stronger as it was, unfortunatley, an abusive one and will leave imprints on you which are illustrated in your dreams. Perhaps write a letter (you don't need to send it!) to your ex saying all those things you need to say...it might help and you might find him featuring less and less in your dreams.

Sorry but to me this is rubbish

What you had was a close relationship with someone, there are no unresolved issues as you seem content to be out of the relationship. What happens is that due to time and closeness this person is still linked in your subconscious. In time it will pass. No need whatsoever to contact the ex, just get on with your new happy relationship and enjoy it.

And no need to tell the new person either if you don't want to, honestly it will pass pretty quickly.. best of luck!

LegacyUser

I do not intend on telling mu boyfriend, it would cause unnecessary anxiety imo!!

I do think that the more i became concerned about it the ore niall featured in my dreams!Now i have just got to get on with it and make sure his presence in my dreams doesn't become a fixture in my everyday life!No reason why it should!

Thanks to all!

Crannog

Not to worry at all, at all.

Niall only represents something in your dream that is about your life now or this particular day.

Were you feeling used or put upon that day perchance?

Decoding the language of our dreams is not easy but when you figure out what he represented in the dream then you can put your mind at rest.

Best of luck.