Ponderism 1: Midgets

RunToFart

Was out for a run tonight and had a couple of thoughts.... it was a long run!

1. People.
There were tonnes of people out and my first thought was how brilliant it was to see runners of all varieties out and about even if it was a painfully windy evening

2. Midgets
a) In a year how many midgets(i), flies, sea gulls do you swallow, get stuck in your teeth or inhale up your nose while out running

b) What happens to the midgets(ii) that go into your eyes but you don't get out. Do they go behind the eye ball and rot? I know people can have bad breath from decaying food. You hardly have bad smelling eyeballs from rotting midgets(iii)

c) Apologies to any midgets (iv) reading this

(i) By midget I mean small annoying flies whose sole purpose in life is to hang around in large groups annoy runners. It could be classed as anti social behaviour. I do not mean small dwarf people who never developed into "fully grown people"
(ii) Please see definition (i)
(iii)Please see definition (ii)
(iv) By midget I mean little dwarf person with many wonderous talents like kicking themselves in the head, wrestling with other midgets(v), hopping onto chairs on Jerry Springer and also having relationships of the intimate nature with very large people (typically 8 times their own body weight) also on Jerry Springer. I did not mean little athletic small flies that wear asics gear and do session of 10 by 400 in 62seconds off 30 recovery and who also have access to the internet and the ability to log into boards.ie
(v) Please see definiton (iv)

3) Hope
I really hope this post does not get deleted my the moderators lol

Racing Flat

Don't know why I'm replying to this, but you wouldn't need any of the definitions if you realised that 'the little fly' is spelt 'midge' as opposed to 'midget'

RJC

Would wearing sunglasses solve this problem?

Bambaata

Good source of protein while u run too!

RunToFart

RJC wrote: »

Would wearing sunglasses solve this problem?

I don't think they would solve the problem and obvious annoyance to other readers of my mistaking midget for midge no. I do apologise for my mistake.

They would however aid in the fight against midges getting into your eyes unless they were clever little midges that used lots of flying skill to get in between the glasses and the face

RacoonQueen

Wear a cap and run into them, head down...

thirtyfoot

Reminds me of the episode of 'one foot in the grave' where Victor Meldrew gets beaten up by the midgets in the bathroom of the guesthouse when he bursts in to kill them with insect repellent while they are shaving and having a wash.

Zuppy

Take midge spray with you and spray ahead all the time. I hope you don't mind breathing the stuff though.

enda1

RunToFart wrote: »

I don't think they would solve the problem and obvious annoyance to other readers of my mistaking midget for midge no. I do apologise for my mistake.

They would however aid in the fight against midges getting into your eyes unless they were clever little midges that used lots of flying skill to get in between the glasses and the face

Swimming goggles :cool:

Zuppy

enda1 wrote: »

Swimming goggles :cool:

But you would have to put them on in a midge free environment. Or the really clever ones would get ya

cesytnuochtaem

Full-face motorcycle helmet with ventilation ports blocked.

[might be more practical for sprinting than distance though :eek:]

thirtyfoot

cesytnuochtaem wrote: »

Full-face motorcycle helmet with ventilation ports blocked.

Would be handy for a midget doing hurdles, protect their head.

SucCes09

i was hit with similar thoughts the other night when running, and have 1 further item to ponder - do migets taste different in different parts of the country?

cesytnuochtaem

SucCes09 wrote: »

i was hit with similar thoughts the other night when running, and have 1 further item to ponder - do migets taste different in different parts of the country?

Suppose it depends on who's blood they've been sucking!!!!!!!!

Woddle

I saw a guy running the national road relays wearing what looked like swimming goggles.
Also back in 2002 in an IMRA race, Maulin I think, the midges were everywhere and one of the runners in the race turned up in one of those white bee suits, netted hat and all, 1 min before the race he took it off, I was standing around for about 20 mins beforehand getting eaten alive

thebouldwhacker

RunToFart wrote: »

b) What happens to the midgets(ii) that go into your eyes but you don't get out. Do they go behind the eye ball and rot? I know people can have bad breath from decaying food. You hardly have bad smelling eyeballs from rotting midgets(iii)

c) Apologies to any midgets (iv) reading this

(i) By midget I mean small annoying flies whose sole purpose in life is to hang around in large groups annoy runners. It could be classed as anti social behaviour. I do not mean small dwarf people who never developed into "fully grown people"
(ii) Please see definition (i)
(iii)Please see definition (ii)
(iv) By midget I mean little dwarf person with many wonderous talents like kicking themselves in the head, wrestling with other midgets(v), hopping onto chairs on Jerry Springer and also having relationships of the intimate nature with very large people (typically 8 times their own body weight) also on Jerry Springer. I did not mean little athletic small flies that wear asics gear and do session of 10 by 400 in 62seconds off 30 recovery and who also have access to the internet and the ability to log into boards.ie
(v) Please see definiton (iv)

3) Hope
I really hope this post does not get deleted my the moderators lol

Hey runtofart why not edit your post changing midget to midge and just delete the section quoted above.

Oryx

I was expecting a very un-pc thread on jogging for small people. Hmmm.

Midges taste minty around these parts. Vicious little beggars they are too, I have no sympathy for them getting eaten.

Ive never gotten one in my eye, so cant say where they go.

Ive never seen midgets out jogging, either.

jlang

Too late to edit now - the post's earned a place in the collective memory.

Had a similar concern about midges in the eyes but worked out what happens when I sneezed one out. At least I think it went down the tear channel - could have just flown up the nose.

Zuppy

To make the thread really un-pc.

Not really seen vertically challenged people run. (more a fact I don't get out much). But if you were to train one for say a 5k, I presume the same training plans are used?
They don't really come under special populations like masters, wheelchairs or youths (I am referring to training books here)




And before I get slated, this thread is labeled as ponderism's and I state the above in a curious way and is not meant to be offensive. But will delete if someone takes offense.

hunnymonster

Oryx wrote: »

Ive never gotten one in my eye, so cant say where they go.

between your contact lens and your eye and it's quite sore, and people ask why I wear my sunnies even when it's quite dull :-)

wizwill

i swallowed a mouth full of midgets whilst running in a park a few weeks ago, i was chatting with a running partner, gave me terrible indigestion