Can she come???

LegacyUser

Me and my girlfriend have been having sex for about two years now.
It is amazing and I love her to bits.
Only one problem is she doesn't come.
I've tried everything. Oral, fingers, bought her a rabbit.
Nothing works. She always stops me before she does.
She told me that she's never had an orgasm and is afraid of what might happen.

Recently she has said that she might be coming but isn't sure.
Says it's really intense and then goes tickly.

I'm confused.

Any help appreciated.

Miss Fluff

Well in my opinion it is nigh impossible for someone else to make you come if you're not able to do it yourself. Does she masturbate OP? To be honest I'd advise against the rabbit if she is not used to making herself come. They are heavy and cumbersome and I think fingers are far better if starting off. Skin on skin is far more effective in exploring yourself and learning what works. Why don't you focus on trying to pleasure her with your hands and tongue. If she practices in the meantime she will be in a position to guide you with what feels good. Also is she lubricated enough?

Relaxation is absolutely key in all of this too. Why don't you put off penetration alltogether or take it out of the equation for now. Start with a bath and a full body massage, soft lighting etc etc and let the magic happen. Communication is also key, encourage her to get tell you what feels good as you do it. When she gets more practiced in masturabation she will be able to show you.

LegacyUser

hi there, just wanted to say that it is possible to come even if you can't manage to make yourself. When I started sleeping with my boyfriend first - I thought yeah that's grand, but one time I did come (penetration alone) - and you are sure of it when it does happen. Of course he thought he was great as I admitted I didn't masturbate ( at least not successfully).
I haven't come that often though - like most guys he seems to feel a failure if it doesn't happen each time, but it's as much down to the girl as it is to the guy as if I'm not mentally there, then nothing will work from his part.
From my experience as a woman, you have to be really into it yourself,as otherwise it's not going to happen, so maybe if you have a couple of drinks first and cuddle/kiss a lot - foreplay etc, it might be easier for her. (If you're not already doing that!)

LegacyUser

I kinda agree with Miss Fluff about the rabbit. Ive finally got one after years but I wont have anything to do with that big churny ballbearing bit that sounds like a cement mixer.....like whats that supposed to do....?

The noise puts me right off, it reminds me of a blender or something! NO THANKS!

I only like the less noisy buzzy rabbit, bit, just set that at a constant high buzz and lean against it works best for me.

I can come through fingering but not through oral as its much too sensitive and almost hurts!

Everyone is different.

Find out what she is afraid of happening if she comes!

Beruthiel

Unregistered wrote: »

Recently she has said that she might be coming but isn't sure.
Says it's really intense and then goes tickly

She is not relaxed.
She needs to be 100% relaxed.

LegacyUser

Its not going to happen unless she can dot it on her own first.. I would encourage her to masterbate. She could use a clit bullet vibe which is small and not as scary as the full vibrator. She needs to learn what turns her on, so she should read a saucy story, images, videos ect... I was in the exact same scenario and this worked for me!

Taltos

She really does need to be relaxed, and that might mean your not being there or involved the first few times.

Even if you are in the house the fear of being walked in on might put her off.

As to the bunny - there are a few different types, the differences might be small but they can really effect how each stimulates.

ibarelycare

Beruthiel wrote: »

She is not relaxed.
She needs to be 100% relaxed.

Exactly. OP, you could spend 5 hours flat trying to work your magic but if she can't let herself go then there's no way it's going to happen. Your mind needs to be free of thoughts, in my experience. You can be on the verge of orgasm and suddenly a work issue, an exam, even a big pile of ironing that has to be done, can pop into your head and you'll completely lose it!

She seems very self-conscious about letting herself completely go around you, and I find that strange since you've been having sex for two years. The fact that she's "afraid" is also a huge issue. What exactly is she afraid of? I think some things need to be addressed in her head before you make any leeway on making her orgasm. You can't force her to cum if she's not in the right frame of mind.