My boyf is addicted to gaming

LegacyUser

my boyfriend is addicted to World of warcraft to the point he plays it instead of talking or doing things with me. its not all the time but its enough of the time. its killing me and though he doesnt see it, its ruining his life to. i wish more than anything he would see that.

liah

This ended a relationship for me and made me add a dealbreaker to my list: I refuse to ever date a man who plays World of Warcraft, EveOnline, Everquest, or any other MMO.

I'm a gamer (PC FPS for the most part), don't get me wrong, and I love guys who game and who can game with me, but I just can't deal with MMOs. They're too engrossing and it's too easy for them to take over a large part of your life.

My ex got addicted to EveOnline a couple years back. Started off alright, was only on it for an hour or two a night, which is fine, you wanna play as much of a new game as possible.

Then he started going on it the second he was done work. Then while working (he did his work remotely via the net, and dual monitors made multitasking easy). Started turning down sex, we never went out anymore. Ignored me flat-out when I would speak to him sometimes. Was just degrading.

Sit him down and have a talk with him. Tell him that if he doesn't start to cop on, that's it. You deserve better than a guy who values a computer over you, it's just not right. I gave my ex a month, nothing changed, so I split. I had been with him for 2 years. That was that.

Gaming's a tough thing. Especially MMOs. You get a feeling of community and a like-minded social scene. You get to dive into this impossible world full of things you wished could happen in real life. You get to be something you wished you could but can't be in real life. I can see why it's addicting and have walked that line myself a couple times, but never let it affect my relationships. Ever.

Don't let him have his cake and eat it too-- it's degrading and you deserve a guy who wants to give you his attention, not some cold piece of steel.

LegacyUser

OP, i can sympathize with you to no end. My OH has been addicted to this game for years and I am glad to finally know that somebody else understands. I love my OH, there is no question about that, but this game has also come between us too. When he is not playing this game he is the nicest, sweetest person, who I adore. He is the person I fell in love with. He can't see, or doesn't want to see, what it is doing to me as a person and to us as a couple. I am sick and tired of getting told to wait until this challanged is finished or somebody has just logged on and he can't leave now.

I have no problem with anybody enjoying something and having a hobby, but when it takes over everything else that is the problem. I wish my OH could see this. I often feel like I come second to this box. I like you, often wish he could see it from my side. I am not trying to stop him doing something he loves, I just wish he could see how it is effecting me.

The way I often feel when I let it get to me is that he works us around the game other than the game around us.

I have too had this discussion with my OH many many times, to the point I jut don't care any more. It does not make any difference. They say they will change, but unfortunatley, like any other addiction, they will not change until thay want to, which could be a long time from now.
I have learnt to accept that this is just part of him. And though I will still express my feelings about it, I know deep down nothing will change until he is ready.
If you can, maybe you could possibly join him at the game. I know this has worked for some people.

I do hope everything will be ok for you OP. Be strong.

Tinchy

i agree totally with liah, this happened to me too. i thought the novelty would wear off after a few weeks of him getting a new console but it just got worse
ended up never going out and eventually i got sick of it, even after me talking to him about it(we split too). i hope this doesnt happen to you but sit him down and have a serious conversation about it, he may think you over-reacting like my boyf did but show him this thread and he might realise.
best of luck, i know how demeaning it can be.

LegacyUser

An ex wow player here.

I played the damn thing for almost 2 years.

Lost a girlfriend (serious relationship), stopped going to work, effected college work SEVERALY, lost allot of my `social` friends
and effected my life in other ways too.

Your gona have to lay it out on the cards, and tell him to stop playing it NOW. there is a reason its called online heroin. And the only way to stop is to stop for good.

I found it almost impossible to quit, so what I did is got my 3 accounts banned, I didn't try sell them cause I knew id try scam them back. I logged on and starting saying racist stuff in trade chat e.t.c until they were all gone. (im not racist but its the quickest reason for a ban without warning)


3 years on, Iv made most my friends back, I'm in a new loving relationship, nice job, social life a.o.k. I still play online games (quakelive mainly) but only once a week MAXIMUM. Theres a whole world out there, and I believe LOVE is the most important thing to me right now so I quit and changed for that. never looked back.