Problem with work colleague

LegacyUser

Hi,

Title says colleague but we are good enough friends. Basically, I work in a small team (8) in a large bank. I am above 4 people and am responsible for their work.

One of the lads, who I am usually quite friendly with, go to lunch everyday etc, has really started to act up. This is only a recent thing and was never a problem before. On one occasion he blatantly refused to implement a small process change (for no other reason than it didn't particularly suit him). In the end he did and of course went back to being friendly as ever with me.
On another occasion, when asked to do something, he turned and said, I am not doing that I am doing this etc (blatant refusal as oppose to just saying that he is overloaded). I shrugged that off.
This week, I asked him about some of his work that was wrong and he straight away started to get angry saying that it is not wrong (I never actually even directly said that it was wrong, I asked him to explain his calculations, it was wrong though). After much protesting without even looking at it, he realised it was wrong ie. looked at it and then fixed it.

I said all of this to my manager (who I am also friends with), nothing formal, just over a lunch, saying that I could understand he might be frustrated as he has not been promoted because of the recession cut backs and he could feel that he should be in my position (and if that was the case i would be in my managers position). My manager agreed that that could be the problem and that he had noticed his behaviour. I asked the manager for some light reinforcement to avoid the situation getting worse which he said he would do.

Come today then, a problem with a report he submitted and i asked him to change it. He dropped it back to my desk and told me that it was now online (we print everything for backup). I asked him for a print out and he told me (in front of the entire team) that if i wanted it to print it myself (I would have absolutely no problem printing it if he just asked me?). The manager did hear this and asked him to print it which he did. To me, this is not reinforcement, the fact that he is not doing his job or not doing what i reasonably asked was not even questioned. My manager "does not like conflict".

He has also started to go straight to the manager with questions that he should ask me. I have also said this to my manager and he has agreed that it is undermining but "finds it hard not to answer when he knows the answer".

No doubt this guy will be my best friend again by the time it comes to going out for pints tomorrow evening, he will be all chat for the day to get things back to normal. I am so pissed off at him, but of course dont want to be fighting with anyone, especially someone I work with and we also have friends in common.

I am just as pissed off with my manager for being so spineless and not doing anything about this at a blatantly obvious oppurtunity. This guy is "putting it up to me" in front of everyone and on one occasion literally did in front of the manager, with the manager just staying quiet looking at computer screen, pretending he couldn't hear.

So, what do i do now? I am now giving both the cold shoulder (to prevent myself from telling them both to fck off). I am not a pushover, quite the opposite in fact, but bite my lip and restrain myself for the sake of getting on with everyone and being professional. I feel that this is being taken advantage of now because I am not being given any respect by this "friend" and my manager does not want to deal with it because it does not directly effect him (and doesn't like conflict of course).

Sorry for the rant, I am just so pissed off with all of this. Its all so petty and rediculous. I would be grateful for any advice.

nicegirl

Like I said in another post, I am not a solisitor, but I do know alot about employment law and legislation, as I am initiating legal proceedings against my own employer.

1. How long is he working there for? If he is working there for under a year, he has no full employment rights under irish legislation, and his probation period, and performance can be reviewed before the year is up. If he is working there for over a year, he has full employment rights, and the following will apply -

2. Since you are this guy's boss, under his contract of employment he must carry out whatever duties are required of him, if he refuses he can he subjected to disciplinary action.

3. Since your manager is aware of his attitude and the way in which he has "humiliated" or "belittled" you, should his behaviour continue or get worse, you should make a complaint in writing to your manager about this, and have dates and incidents recorded.

4. Should it be a case that your manager ignores it, or dosn't deal with it properly, then I would suggest making a written complaint to the manager above him/her.

5. Should that complaint be ignored, you have the right to refer the entire matter onto a court for their adjudication, under the Health Safety and Welfare Act of 2005 for harassement in the workplace

I would also recommend reading a little about employment law, as it has really helped me with my battle against my employer, and it will help you. If you know your rights and responsibilities under irish employment law, no one can touch you, and it will all be sorted out.

I hope this will help you in some way:)

eth0_

It looks to me like part of the problem is you - that you're afraid to lay down the law with this guy because you are/were friends.

You can't expect your manager to jump in when this guy is rude to you - he's a manager, not a babysitter. He's there to back you up, not do your job for you and make sure your subordinates do their work to the required standard.

nicegirl

I agree it is difficult to lay down the law to someone you are friends with in the workplace, however be honest and say you need work to be done and up to a required standard, but be friendly and professional about it. If he is till a git then i would suggest telling him he must do what he is told under his contract of employment, but be nice, and friendly about it. If he continues to be a git then I would tell him the law and let him know because at that point i would consider him to be not complying to the requirements of his job, and just being a git. If i was a manager I would always give someone a chance to improve, but if they don't after being told then i would be a bit more stern with them. I hope it goes ok, but under his contract of employment, he must do what he is told to do, no matter what that may be. Good luck with it all

Jonty

you can't go for dinner and be mates with this guy and still expect him to respect your seniority. simple as that

kippy

Jonty wrote: »

you can't go for dinner and be mates with this guy and still expect him to respect your seniority. simple as that

Well, you can. But the guy is taking advantage of the situation. Most people would have the cop on to realize you cant mix both situations up.
I've had plenty close friendships with managers over the years, never caused any problems and at times, if you were close to your manager you'd generally work harder for them......my personal experience, different people, like this guy, would take advantage.
OP, it really is up to you to put the foot down. He is undermining you, making you look bad in front of the team. You need to pull him aside and discuss this with him. If you dont it will get worse.
It looks like his behavior is linked to his lack of promotion, which I can understand, but he has to be reeled in and told to get over it, another opportunity may arise,
Kippy