My friend

zedhead

I have a friend who I am crazy about. The problem is we spend a lot of time sorting out each others love lives. Trying to help the person go up and chat to someone in a club or bar etc. And he is contantly talking to me about his conquests. We are very close and have shared a bed (fully clothed and no funny business) and would go around holding hands, or him with his arm around me on nights out when we're drinking. About a year ago i made a subtle move on him which he just laughed off. So i decided never to try it again. I have hooked up with one of his friends (last summer).
I've managed to ignore the fact im crazy about him and just be ok with being really good friends
Now I'm going tavelling in 2 months for a year. And last week when we were out and i was at the bar one of my friends made a comment to him about us. She said from his reaction, she thinks he's crazy about me too, but he mentioned something about me going travelling. I think he was taking the p*ss a bit with her, but she's not so sure.
Anyway, to make things even more confusing, tonight at 10:10 i got a text from him that just said "i like you x". It came totally out of nowhere and i dunno what to do.
Part of me thinks he was taking the p*ss or he's out on the beer with a couple of his really immature mates and they sent it. But then there is a part of me that thinks my friend is right and he does like me.
If its option B, then i dunno how to take it, i'm absolutley crazy about him, but i am going away, and wouldnt want to ruin the friendship on a 2 month fling. Also if it was to develop to more i dont want a LDR affectign how much i enjoy my year away, i dont want to spend the whole time thinking about or missing someone at home. I dont think either of us would be good at LDR. Also i think even if we didnt get together but i knew he was as crazy about me as i was him, id spend a good part of my travels wondering what could have been, or if ive missed my one opportunity with him.
Also I'm a little angry at him, if he is serious for telling me in such a way. Basically, based on my reaction he can then decide how serious the text was, leaving me to be the one open to get hurt or feel stupid. Like surely if he is that into me, he should either just make a move when we are out or just tell me.
I have so far ignored it, but i dont know what to do now, should i text him back, or keep ignoring it, or maybe drop him an email.
Im totally confused and this is wrecking my head!

gabbygirlgavin

hi,
Text him back NOW, if u are. dont leave it till the morning cuz the moment is gone. more than likely its a friend... sorry... but text him back.
text him back ignoring the text and say, "hey how are u getting on? are u out?"
if u want, if u call him hun or have a pet name at the end of the msg say "like u too pet/hun/etc" and put a smiley face so if it is a friend u can be like oh i knew hence the smiley face! if its him then u may attack for the freakin out he just put u thru...
let me know how u get on...

gabbygirlgavin

Or.... text back and say the truth. your leaving 4 the yr anyway, get it alll out! oh lord even im confused now... someone else help!

zedhead

Hmm mailed him this morning and he said was out on the beer and his friend sent it! I know some of his friends are immature, but do many 26 year old men just randomly send texts like that taking the p*ss!
So frustrating!

qt9ukbg60ivjrn

i reckon it was him, if i was out on the piss with a friend and i got my hands on their phone, i'd send something a bit more full on

something like...I want to put my **** in your **** and then cook some chicken and lemon

Taltos

You could always have that open chat with him - or simply reply to his email "pity it was your mate" and leave it there...
If he wants to follow up on this then he will and you know where you stand.
If he does not follow up - well you will still know where you stand too.

Would suggest though having a talk before you go - and soon, depends on how you feel about him though. You never know maybe he is scared of losing his friend - that fear nearly kept me from asking my now wife out all those years ago...

prinz

zedhead wrote: »

Hmm mailed him this morning and he said was out on the beer and his friend sent it! I know some of his friends are immature, but do many 26 year old men just randomly send texts like that taking the p*ss!
So frustrating!

Unfortunately yes. Cue lots of awkward and embarrassing return texts and calls. .Guys.

You're going to miss him on your travels anyway no? Sounds like a close friend. Might as well miss him for being more than a friend.

zedhead

Taltos wrote: »

Would suggest though having a talk before you go - and soon, depends on how you feel about him though. You never know maybe he is scared of losing his friend - that fear nearly kept me from asking my now wife out all those years ago...

I'm scared of losing him as a friend tho too. We get on so well, he is so easy to talk to! And i have already made a move on him a long time ago and it go laughed off. And i decided then that unless he was to say anything, I would just have to be happy with just being friends.

I will miss him while i'm away, but i might regret leaving now if i say something to him or might mess things up completely between us. Wheras if i dont say anything, i know for 100% sure he'll be here as a friend for me when i come back!

Taltos

zedhead wrote: »

I'm scared of losing him as a friend tho too. We get on so well, he is so easy to talk to! And i have already made a move on him a long time ago and it go laughed off. And i decided then that unless he was to say anything, I would just have to be happy with just being friends.

I will miss him while i'm away, but i might regret leaving now if i say something to him or might mess things up completely between us. Wheras if i dont say anything, i know for 100% sure he'll be here as a friend for me when i come back!

Life is full of regrets - trust me have a few like this from my past.
While I am really happy now I do still wonder what-if - even over 20 yrs later. Do you really want to be like that?

It all comes down to how you approach this. I'd say send the text tonight around the same time. Gauge his response - if he acts all worried - use his response - "my mate texted it..."
Maybe he is being totally honest here - maybe his mate did send it - but maybe - just maybe he did. You are going for a year so by the time you are back any awkwardness will have faded, unless you end up dwelling on it - but if you do then the awkwardness will just be in your head.

Sometimes you have to take the risk, and be willing to live with the result.
Really is there a better time for this? If he does not feel the same way - at least you will not have to see him for a year - during such time you might well end up meeting another bloke of your dreams - because you will have had to finally give up on this one. And if he does feel the same way - the year will pass all the faster to get back to him.

LegacyUser

Listen if you like him and maybe want to have a good "physical relationship" before you leave then text him call him, etc. Otherwise dont, he might like you and he probably does, however there is a reason why he didn't ask you out.
I ve been in the same position you have and if you are frustrated its a bad sign
This is my experience, maybe it will be different for you.

If he is a good friend, no matter what, you wont loose him, it might be awkward for a while tho.
my 2 cents

and you know what, enjoy the trip.