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Am I being unreasonable?

  • 06-05-2009 8:26pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I went to court and had a protection order issued against my husband this year. A huge session turned nasty, guards, the whole works. It was more the threat of violence and threat of killing me rather than him actually hitting me (he didint actually hit me that is) he was hospitalised as a result as he was deememd to be a danger to himself as well.
    Solicitor dragged his heels, and in the end he advised me not to go for the barring order as during the 4 months of the protection order my ex pretty much stayed away (he no longer lives in the family home, hasint done for a long time) and when he did stay he didint drink and it was only for one night. (I could not stop him coming into the family home as it was not a barring order)

    The instant the protection order ran out he landed back for a couple of days, drinking every night that he was here. He is verbally abusive and honestly, lying in your bed wondering if tonight is going to be the night, is no way to live (if only for a few days every couple of months). I am back at the solicitor tomorrow, i doubt i will be able to go for a protection order as he hasint threathened me but good God it's so hard to try to raise kids this way. He refuses to accept the marriage is over, even though his actions say otherwise.

    What im wondering is, am i being unreasonable when i ask him not to drink while he's here? Apparantly " I'm not ther boss of him" and he can come and go as he pleases until the judge tells him other wise. He says "i managed to get him to slip up before, but he's alot smarter now".

    Making very little progress with the actual seperation and it looks like it will be judicial court. He pays nothing towards our mortgage or the 2 kids as he has lost his job now. I care less about the money.

    Do i think he could do it (carry out his threats) in a drunken rage? Yes i do. Any advice appreciated, especially from anyone who's been down this road.


Comments

  • #2
    bluecell99
    Closed Accounts Posts: 259 ✭✭bluecell99


    Sorry to hear about this.Yes,he could carry out his threats.Tell your solicitor to get his bloody finger out and get the barring order.You need it.You deserve it.He sounds like a nasty piece of work to me.Get rid of him out of your life for your sanity and health.Change your solicitor if you need.Dont be soft.he is a controlling bully and I have seen so much of this.Please believe me;he wont change.I am begging you for your own sake be strong and get the order and try to start living a normal life free from the shadow of a disgusting alcoholic who blames ,and destroys,everybody but himself.


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