I'm pregnant-don't know how to tell him

LegacyUser

Need some help because I dont know what to do.
Ok well I found out I'm a few weeks pregnant totally unexpected.
Thing is I'm so scared to tell my boyfriend because I know he'll be angry and the rest .
What makes it even harder is that only yesterday we saw a few pregnant women about and he made a comment saying "god I'd hate to have a baby now,could you imagine us two with a child,our lives would be so miserable how could we look after one or afford one hahaha " now while he said this jokingly I know he's serious too.
By the way we're both in our early 20's and in college and both living at home still.

Just really need some advice from anyone on here who may have been in a similar situation because I really can't tell him at the moment.
Thanks for reading

star-pants

This site may be of some help http://www.crisispregnancy.ie/programmes.html.

Also people say things like that and even though they may mean them at the time, when it's real it can be different. I don't mean he'll jump up and down but that he may not be as uninterested as you think. Also he shouldn't get angry - it takes two to make a baby.
People can still finish college & have their child. I think you need to make sure you're calm and know what you want before you sit down to talk to him. Try not to get upset.
Have you told your parents yet?

trevo

if he get angry i think it just show's you he's not ready. but every body handle's things in their own ways. you need to talk it will help.

all the best

ohdelightful

Hey,

I was in a similiar situation as you are currently in.I know it seems daunting and you are wondering how you will ever cope. But you do. You need to tell him as soon as possible. Not only for him to know but so there is the added support. I got pregnant when I was in college and I have now finished college and working full time. It is not the end of the world by no means.

Hel probably be just be as shocked as you were. Not telling him will only lead to needless fighting and he'l end up upset & angry to !!

You'l be ok!!

Devi

First off, congrats. Not the end of the world.
I used to say things like I didnt wants kids yet, we cant afford it yet etc etc. When my girlfriend got pregnent it was hard at first (didnt say that to her though) but I got used to the idea then really started to look forward to it. I was 23 at the time. Now my son is my world, I couldnt imagine my life without him. And the funny thing is I wouldnt see him as an expence now but before you experiance it ye kinda do. Im getting the feeling that your so worried about what the bf thinks that you havnt even thaugh how you feel about it. Look at it this way, its good news, its much better to have this in your life than say a death of a famly member and if the bf doenst see it in that way then its his loss imo.

LegacyUser

star-pants wrote: »

This site may be of some help http://www.crisispregnancy.ie/programmes.html.

Also people say things like that and even though they may mean them at the time, when it's real it can be different. I don't mean he'll jump up and down but that he may not be as uninterested as you think. Also he shouldn't get angry - it takes two to make a baby.
People can still finish college & have their child. I think you need to make sure you're calm and know what you want before you sit down to talk to him. Try not to get upset.
Have you told your parents yet?

Yea they know my dad knew somethin was bothering me for a while so I had to tell him and he's ok about it not so much my mam though ! They know he doesn't know yet also.

ohdelightful wrote: »

Hey,

I was in a similiar situation as you are currently in.I know it seems daunting and you are wondering how you will ever cope. But you do. You need to tell him as soon as possible. Not only for him to know but so there is the added support. I got pregnant when I was in college and I have now finished college and working full time. It is not the end of the world by no means.

Hel probably be just be as shocked as you were. Not telling him will only lead to needless fighting and he'l end up upset & angry to !!

You'l be ok!!

I feel so weird like I'm floating outside my body if you know what I mean
This is going to totally feck things up with his life !

gowayouttadat

Scared ! wrote: »

This is going to totally feck things up with his life !

No it won't. As other posters have said, it's not the end of the world. You'll deal with it and if he's any kind of a man he'll deal with it too. I'm pregnant at the mo. It was totally unplanned and my bf's jaw nearly hit the ground when I showed him the test. He was totally shocked and we went around in circles talking about the same things you've mentioned... we're not ready, we've loads left to do, loads of places left to see etc etc
At the end of the day we both came around to the idea. Just think about it, is there anyone you know who says they regret having their kid?? It'll change your life but not necessarily for the worse.

aare

Scared ! wrote: »

This is going to totally feck things up with his life !

TOUGH!

Hopes he survives...

Right now it is YOU that you need to worry about...you need some tranquil space to work out exactly how you feel and what you want to do...sorry but you just don't have the time or the energy to be bothering about anyone else until you are clear about that.

You must be in a HEAP, but it really isn't the end of the world...

star-pants

Scared ! wrote: »

Yea they know my dad knew somethin was bothering me for a while so I had to tell him and he's ok about it not so much my mam though ! They know he doesn't know yet also.


I feel so weird like I'm floating outside my body if you know what I mean
This is going to totally feck things up with his life !

Ok well I'm glad your parents know, at least you have support there. Your mother will come round to the idea, it's just probably a bit of a shock at first.

I understand you feel so out of it, almost like it's happening to someone else.
But it is you and it will seem more real as time goes on don't worry, you're also probably in some form of shock and it will pass.

As I said earlier, it takes two to make a baby, it's as much his responsibility as yours. Life doesn't have to stop, things can be worked out.

King of Kings

I remember it was summer time and I was in town (i worked near holles street) and laughing to a mate about all the pregnant women we saw - we were joking about running into a one night stand and the "Oh ****" scenario of her shouting across the street "you're the dad".... then we were debating if condom worked that well and so forth...........a few weeks later I met somebody and by the next jan she was pregnant and none of that ****e talk every came into it.

you could be well surprised about his reaction..over the years I've known some wild fellas (myself included) would became model citizens, good partners etc... when the responsibility of a kid came along.

You owe him to tell him he is going to be a dad. Let him make react how he does. Be prepared for a negative reaction followed by a apology a few hours later when the news has sunk in. Remember very few guys actually **** off an leave a girl in the lurch. The vast majority will attempt to continue the relationship and try to make it work.

The fact your dad supports you is good. So you have a support structure there.

star-pants wrote: »

Life doesn't have to stop, things can be worked out.

this is v.true. life is different but far from over.

LegacyUser

star-pants wrote: »

Ok well I'm glad your parents know, at least you have support there. Your mother will come round to the idea, it's just probably a bit of a shock at first.

I understand you feel so out of it, almost like it's happening to someone else.
But it is you and it will seem more real as time goes on don't worry, you're also probably in some form of shock and it will pass.

As I said earlier, it takes two to make a baby, it's as much his responsibility as yours. Life doesn't have to stop, things can be worked out.

I know what youre saying is true I just hope the courage to tell him comes soon cause I really need to let it out !
This is probably the closest I've come to telling him because he's beside me now watching tv while I'm on this.
One part of me wants him to see this the other doesn't.
My parents are a bit weird with him the whole weekend which he has picked up on and is wonderin what their problem is feel sorry for him ha he has no idea at all !

LegacyUser

Well i finally told him but it couldn't have gone more wrong ! I told him and he passed out and hit his head off the fireplace and is currently still in hospital ! Only me this could happen to :rolleyes:

Now the thing is too that he's only come round a short while and hasnt said anythin about it so I dont know what to think

ellie1

I know its not funny but thats hilarious.......still laughing. Sorry!

Op, I am sure he will come around. Give him a bit of time. What a shock he must have had. I really hope that you both will be looking back at this and laughing.

Stheno

ellie1 wrote: »

I know its not funny but thats hilarious.......still laughing. Sorry!

Op, I am sure he will come around. Give him a bit of time. What a shock he must have had. I really hope that you both will be looking back at this and laughing.

Thank God someone posted it before me!

OP laughter aside, he's had a pretty massive shock and walloped his head, he's probably trying to figure out where he is, let alone take in the shock of what caused him to suffer concussion.

Give him a couple of days to recover, he'll probably bring things up, a bang on the head can cause short term memory loss from sheer shock.

And laughter aside, I hope you are ok and haven't had too much of a shock, you both need to take care of yourselves at the minute.

LegacyUser

ellie1 wrote: »

I know its not funny but thats hilarious.......still laughing. Sorry!

Op, I am sure he will come around. Give him a bit of time. What a shock he must have had. I really hope that you both will be looking back at this and laughing.

nouggatti wrote: »

Thank God someone posted it before me!

OP laughter aside, he's had a pretty massive shock and walloped his head, he's probably trying to figure out where he is, let alone take in the shock of what caused him to suffer concussion.

Give him a couple of days to recover, he'll probably bring things up, a bang on the head can cause short term memory loss from sheer shock.

And laughter aside, I hope you are ok and haven't had too much of a shock, you both need to take care of yourselves at the minute.

it is funny looking back at it now (not sure that he'd see it like that though :P ) but it wasn't funny at the time he was loosing so much blood from the gash in his head I thought he was going to die on me .
Just hope I'm not back in the same position as before i.e havin to tell him again if he has forgotten !

pandas

ha ya that was hilarious!!! but anyway has he remembered or ya have to tell him again?

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

O'Coonassa

Scared ! wrote: »

Well i finally told him but it couldn't have gone more wrong ! I told him and he passed out and hit his head off the fireplace and is currently still in hospital !

O rly? Are you sure he's a real boy and not a cartoon character?

Wibbs

O'Coonassa to quote Thaedydal above, Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum. Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.