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boyfriend losing his dreams

  • 03-05-2009 9:00am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. In the last few months he has gone from someone who would talk about their creative college projects to someone who has no confidence in their work. He has stopped going to classes and plays computer games all day long. He feels like no one at college likes him and that the lecturers have 'given up' on him.

    I don't know what to do.

    I might have been a bit harsh with him last night, when we were talking. I telling him not to give up and to go into college (not in a bossy way- just in a wishful motivating way). He said that he didn't think I liked the way he was living right now. And I bluntly said no I don't. I have friends well up in his industry and I can see how hard they have had to work. But it's worth it. They're wiling to help him with work experience etc, but he ALWAYS thinks he's not good enough no matter how much I try and encourage him when he puts himself down.

    He said he's just going to 'take things one day at a time'. But I know how competitive this creative industry is and you need to really want to do well in it and have faith in your own work.

    I don't want to change him but I feel like he is changing - and not in a positive direction. All his dreams and ambitions are something that attracted me to him in the first place.He says he hasn't changed and that all his dreams are still there etc- but all this not going to college/not caring, can this be true?. I'll give him some time to sort his life out and support him all I can. I'm afraid he'll end up with no qualification from uni, working in a fast food joint for a long time. (No disrespect to anyone who has that type of lifestyle). It's just that he has so much potential, it'd break my heart if he just cruised through life without trying.

    Any advice on how I can help him? Thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    Lollipops23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,420 ✭✭✭Lollipops23


    while i'm no expert,your description smacks of depression. the giving up on himself attitude,not wanting to go out...it just sounds like he may be depressed,would you be able to get him to go to a doctor?a doc may be able to help your BF, perhaps through therapy to discuss the issues that are obviously getting him down.good luck.


  • #3
    That_Guy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    I see that you've been encouraging him which is the best thing you can do but unfortunately for you it doesn't seem to be working very well.

    Maybe you could try and inspire him by maybe talking to him about how all of his dreams came about in the first place and what made him want to do what he does. It might just jolt him back into a really positive mindset once again.


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