Wisdom of old people

newmills

Sitting in the local the other day. The village alcoholic pensioner is sitting at the bar after a hard day backing horses and drinking pints. Young lad is at the bar chatting to the barman. The old lad turns to him and says "You're twice the man your father is". "Why's that?" says the young lad. "Cause you were able to get out of a hole that he could only get in to!!" Priceless nugget of wisdom from the oul lad I thought.

Anyone else ever get any top pieces of info from the older generation?

Snowie

old people arnt wise just exerperenced

Abi

Id have knocked the fcuker off his bar stool.

Some old people are just bitter and know-alls. I certainly wouldnt pay heed to a man as described above.. I couldnt quote anything my grand parents say. It would be deemed racist against colour and religon.

If you asked the gobshyte at the bar how much he paid for his pint, he'd probably answer you in shillings. While there are some that are on the ball, there are some ignorant know-all **** out there.

me_right_one

newmills wrote: »

Sitting in the local the other day. The village alcoholic pensioner is sitting at the bar after a hard day backing horses and drinking pints. Young lad is at the bar chatting to the barman. The old lad turns to him and says "You're twice the man your father is". "Why's that?" says the young lad. "Cause you were able to get out of a hole that he could only get in to!!" Priceless nugget of wisdom from the oul lad I thought.

Anyone else ever get any top pieces of info from the older generation?

Classic!!!

Snowie

I know a 76 year old man nice man hes dyslexic but hes a computer programmer at 76 years old... really interesting to talk to complete pervert in a funny sense... ANd his words of wisdom to me where" do the work " :cool:

waraf

Abigayle wrote: »

Id have knocked the fcuker off his bar stool.

Some old people are just bitter and know-alls. I certainly wouldnt pay heed to a man as described above.. I couldnt quote anything my grand parents say. It would be deemed racist against colour and religon.

If you asked the gobshyte at the bar how much he paid for his pint, he'd probably answer you in shillings. While there are some that are on the ball, there are some ignorant know-all **** out there.

:eek: jebus mate relax

magick

it was a wind swept pub by the west coast of ireland, rain battered the windows and doors of the place..........

i staggered in for a pint of whatever......it didnt matter the weather had beaten me into submission.

I sat there.....by a dimliy lit fire, hearing the wind and rain battering against the window. I sat there giving praise to God for my pint i walked 5 miles in the rain for............then out from the darkness an old man appered.

He said "are you a plumber?!"

Slowly i pulled back and said...."no"

to which he replied...................

"well if you ever are........NEVER DO ****E!"

and he walked out to the storm that swept him away with the wisdom of times.............

Abigayle

Abigayle wrote: »

Id have knocked the fcuker off his bar stool.

Some old people are just bitter and know-alls. I certainly wouldnt pay heed to a man as described above.. I couldnt quote anything my grand parents say. It would be deemed racist against colour and religon.

If you asked the gobshyte at the bar how much he paid for his pint, he'd probably answer you in shillings. While there are some that are on the ball, there are some ignorant know-all **** out there.

not being bad here but you sound like you're gonna be quite the handful when you're old.

magick

it was a wind swept pub by the west coast of ireland, rain battered the windows and doors of the place..........

i staggered in for a pint of whatever......it didnt matter the weather had beaten me into submission.

I sat there.....by a dimliy lit fire, hearing the wind and rain battering against the window. I sat there giving praise to God for my pint i walked 5 miles in the rain for............then out from the darkness an old man appered.

He said "are you a plumber?!"

Slowly i pulled back and said...."no"

to which he replied...................

"well if you ever are........NEVER DO SHI*E!"

and he walked out to the storm that swept him away with the wisdom of times.............

Abi

Deleted User wrote: »

not being bad here but you sound like you're gonna be quite the handful when you're old.

Lulz, Id go far as to say that I already am

Snowie

Deleted User wrote: »

not being bad here but you sound like you're gonna be quite the handful when you're old.

id like to agree shes very scarey :eek:

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

When my mother came to Berlin to visit for the first thime, she couldn't round the fact that the dials on my cooker were marked with 1 then 1. (like 1 and a half) 2 2. and 3.

She kept telling me my food would never cook when the cooker only went up to 3. Even when I told her that three was the fifth mark and the same as five, she said, "But... it only goes up to 3...."

It's been known ever since as her "Spinal Tap" moment.

S.I.R

my granny and me where out and about before in a shop being served by some Wannabe poshie with his head Rightly lodge up his hole...


ask for lotto tickets and such and the dialog goes like this:

Shopfella: i can't help you atm, im going on my break ill be back in five the guy next to me will help you out
MeGranny: oh jasus lad - must be starvin
Shopfella: oh yeah... an empty sack cannot stand
Megranny:*butts* And an full one cannot bend.


Classic imo

waraf

S.I.R wrote: »

Shopfella: oh yeah... an empty sack cannot stand
Megranny:*butts* And an empty one cannot bend.

eh??

Abigayle

Abigayle wrote: »

Id have knocked the fcuker off his bar stool.

Some old people are just bitter and know-alls. I certainly wouldnt pay heed to a man as described above.. I couldnt quote anything my grand parents say. It would be deemed racist against colour and religon.

If you asked the gobshyte at the bar how much he paid for his pint, he'd probably answer you in shillings. While there are some that are on the ball, there are some ignorant know-all **** out there.

Jesus Abi.

There is an anger in you these days

S.I.R

waraf wrote: »

eh??

Hangovers Ftw.

Abi

Deleted User wrote: »

Jesus Abi.

There is an anger in you these days

S.I.R wrote: »

Hangovers Ftw.

Theres your answer :pac:


I'll be fine after teh fry:D

My name is URL

My granda was very wise. He couldn't read or write but somehow became the Lord Mayor of our village. He got by on reciting proverbs at people I think :pac:

Whosbetter?

Years ago myself & some of the other 'young bucks' of the village were having a few pints down the local.
At the other end of the bar was a solitary auld lad nursing a bottle of ale & a half one.

Anyway we young lads started getting into an animated discussion on what vehicles were the most difficult to drive.
i.e." I drive a tipper truck."
"That's nothin' I drive an Artic."
"So what, I can drive a Combine Harvester."
"Well, I'm in the Army & I can drive a Tank!"

And so on........

Anywho,as the discussion escalated, I could see the auld lad shuffling in his seat & gettin agitated.
Eventually,he let a roar at us.

The place went silent.
He said.

"Y'know lads, there's only 2 things in this life that are hard to drive.
Ones a Bad Ass,
The other is a Soft Mickey!!"

That kinda ended the discussion..

Overheal

My favorite local would always walk in announcing himself by roaring LiiiiVERRRRRRpoooooolhhh.....

Nutter that one.

K4t

Old people are experienced as another poster already said.

Poor Uncle Tom

K4t wrote: »

Old people are experienced as another poster already said.

Yup, we didn't get old by being stupid...;)

marcsignal

My Grandfather gave me some sound advice on his death bed..

"It's worth spending money on Good Speakers"

he told me :pac:

Acacia

Old people are cute. Like wrinkly babies.

GirlInterrupted

K4t wrote: »

Old people are experienced as another poster already said.

With age and experience comes wisdom. My grandparents lived with us for years until their deaths, two years apart.

I loved listening to their take on the world, and all their life experiences made them interesting and insightful people.

I think its a shame that so many old people are underestimated and undervalued.

Snowie

Poor Uncle Tom wrote: »

Yup, we didn't get old by being stupid...;)

i was talkin about people over 60 at least if you think you can hog the exprenced thing you cant....

theres an age limit....

Orla K

I met my granny with another old woman, so I stopped and talked to them. Out of the blue the other old woman said "your in love, arn't you" I was taken by surprise so just stood there with my mouth open. They went on to say "Love few but share with many" they then walked off giggling.

The same old woman is a friends gran, over sunday dinner she tells him and his brother to have lots of sex with different people.

brianthebard

newmills wrote: »

Sitting in the local the other day. The village alcoholic pensioner is sitting at the bar after a hard day backing horses and drinking pints. Young lad is at the bar chatting to the barman. The old lad turns to him and says "You're twice the man your father is". "Why's that?" says the young lad. "Cause you were able to get out of a hole that he could only get in to!!" Priceless nugget of wisdom from the oul lad I thought.

Anyone else ever get any top pieces of info from the older generation?

I can't tell if there's supposed to be a serious nugget of wisdom in there or if he just made a dick joke....

ejmaztec

Orla K wrote: »

I met my granny with another old woman, so I stopped and talked to them. Out of the blue the other old woman said "your in love, arn't you" I was taken by surprise so just stood there with my mouth open. They went on to say "Love few but share with many" they then walked off giggling.

The same old woman is a friends gran, over sunday dinner she tells him and his brother to have lots of sex with different people.

When you're old there's a very fine line separating wisdom and insanity.

Aodan83

brianthebard wrote: »

I can't tell if there's supposed to be a serious nugget of wisdom in there or if he just made a dick joke....

Hadn't noticed it (slow day) but now that you mention it, i think it really is just a well disguised sex joke.