"We've been observing your earth"

CUCINA

A super advanced civilisation from the other side of the universe sends an exploration crew to study our planet. They marvel at some of the highly organised societies they find here, like ants, bees, and dolphins. But they are puzzled at the anomolies and oddities of a race called humans. They make a list of what they see...

A stream of metal boxes being propelled by ancient technology along a road. Most have one occupant, but room for three more, yet all travel in the same direction, using three times more precious oil reserves than they need to.

Observe people on African continent walking miles each day for a container of clean water, while millions of gallons of clean water used every day to wash above ancient-technology machines.

People inhale poisonous smoke, then breathe out and poison those around them

Some wear strange plastic things on their faces, supported by the forces of gravity on their noses and ears

What else is on their list????

omyatari

tom cruise knows all about it.

dan719

Fail.

Saibh

CUCINA wrote: »

Some wear strange plastic things on their faces, supported by the forces of gravity on their noses and ears

Goes off to invent a name for those strange plastic things...

Loomis

Incredulous at those that leave the toilet seat up, lazy bastards that they are.

Captain Darling

CUCINA wrote: »

What else is on their list????

People making semi pompous, meandering posts on the internet whilst pausing to smell their own smug farts because they smell so good.

Pherekydes

"Klaatu barada nikto"


Translation: Klaatu is dead. Nuke the bastards.

Highsider

ET phone home

fryup

dan719 wrote: »

Fail.

what does that stand for??

Pherekydes

fryup wrote: »

what does that stand for??

Not pass.

Saibh

fryup wrote: »

what does that stand for??

Funny Aliens Institute (of) Linguistics

johnny_knoxvile

The aliens were very impressed by Mary Harney's ability to eat Mars, Milky Way & Planets...

...and i'm not talking about chocolate made Cadburys.

Jesus Wept

Mary Harney's weight references are the new 'Yore ma!' around here, except they're worse, they should be treated with even more contempt, I'm fúcking sick of reading them, they're the anti-funny.

Pherekydes

The-Rigger wrote: »

Mary Harney's weight references...

I'd like to refer you to the 'swine fever' thread...


(Since she's the Minister of Health)

Jesus Wept

I prefer to call it Piggy fever.

Numina

CUCINA wrote: »

Most have one occupant, but room for three more

Then why are there 4 passenger seat belts?

FlutterinBantam

Spinning rapidly.................................

Loomis

Bringing in penalty points for invalid NCT cert but shutting down the NCT website and not answering phones when people ring to make an appointment.

Rented Mule

The-Rigger wrote: »

I prefer to call it Piggy fever.

Does Mary Harney dance with John Travolta in that one ?

johnny_knoxvile

The-Rigger wrote: »

Mary Harney's weight references are the new 'Yore ma!' around here, except they're worse, they should be treated with even more contempt, I'm fúcking sick of reading them, they're the anti-funny.

Mary Harney is the new Chuck Norris.

Rented Mule

johnny_knoxvile wrote: »

Mary Harney is the new Chuck Norris.

Livestock cooks itself when she looks at them.

johnny_knoxvile

The-Rigger wrote: »

Mary Harney's weight references are the new 'Yore ma!' around here, except they're worse, they should be treated with even more contempt, I'm fúcking sick of reading them, they're the anti-funny.

Mary Harney is the new Chuck Norris.

She gave birth to Chuck Norris... And then ate a hospital.

Hagar

.....

Naos

Mr. Anderson wrote: »

Bringing in penalty points for invalid NCT cert but shutting down the NCT website and not answering phones when people ring to make an appointment.

Upon completing a test for these metal boxes, a person is issued a "Certificte of Competency" proving they can operate this metal box, however is unable to drive on the motorway until they send away and receive a small pink sheet.

Rented Mule

Hagar wrote: »

Mary Hearney ate the old Chuck Norris.

Wait until you see how Chuck gets out of this one !!

johnny_knoxvile

Mary Harney would eat ET, Mork & Mindy, The Darleks and the cast of Star Trek in the one sandwhich.

Rented Mule

johnny_knoxvile wrote: »

Mary Harney would eat ET, Mork & Mindy, The Darleks and the cast of Star Trek in the one sandwhich.

So quickly that warp speed, FTS and hyperspace would seem like slow motion.

Mr.Lizard

CUCINA wrote: »

A super advanced civilisation from the other side of the universe sends an exploration crew to study our planet. They marvel at some of the highly organised societies they find here, like ants, bees, and dolphins. But they are puzzled at the anomolies and oddities of a race called humans. They make a list of what they see...

A stream of metal boxes being propelled by ancient technology along a road. Most have one occupant, but room for three more, yet all travel in the same direction, using three times more precious oil reserves than they need to.

Observe people on African continent walking miles each day for a container of clean water, while millions of gallons of clean water used every day to wash above ancient-technology machines.

People inhale poisonous smoke, then breathe out and poison those around them

Some wear strange plastic things on their faces, supported by the forces of gravity on their noses and ears

What else is on their list????

Toilet paper.

johnny_knoxvile

Rented Mule wrote: »

Does Mary Harney dance with John Travolta in that one ?

haha!

I think she was in Feeder too.

And the smash hit comedy "There's Someting About Mary (Harney)"

Smart Bug

The Earth and entire solar system orbit in an ever decreasing circle around Mary Harney's black hole.

Rented Mule

Smart Bug wrote: »

The Earth and entire solar system orbit in an ever decreasing circle around Mary Harney's black hole.

Which brings you straight into the bowels of hell !!