Crazy about a girl, but...

LegacyUser

Hey folks. I'm 22, and I'm a bit all over the place at the moment, just looking for some advice. Basically, I've been with a girl on a couple of occasions over the past two or so months. I am crazy about her, she's possibly the nicest girl I've ever came across, and would really like to go out with her as such. We've been texting on and off for the past couple of weeks, and seem to get on really well together.

BUT, heres the thing. I remember overhearing her saying (not towards me) that she hates the thought of having a boyfriend. Now I'm not sure what her reasons are, I suspect it could possibly be based upon some of her friends having bad experiences with boyfriends or something like that, well thats my theory anyway. I just don't know how to approach the situation. I want to just ask her out or something, but I'm completely unsure as to what her reaction would be. What we have had over the past number of weeks and months has been really informal, but I don't want to let her go without trying I guess. I'd love to know what she is thinking. Any opinions?

Kimia

Why don't you ask her to meet you for a drink alone? Move it onto date territory.

Also, I wouldn't worry about her saying she doesn't want a boyfriend to her friend - it could be just a throwaway remark so don't let it deter you.

Give it a chance! You'll never know until you try, and you might be very pleasantly surprised!

ÁineP

I agree with Kimia.
Take it from me, (A girl who got treated like crap and was very anti-men and who then got won over by a pure gent and I'm very happy now) I would ask her out on a date. See how you feel after a couple of chats and dates and such slowly you can broach the subject of maybe possibly become boyfriend and girlfriend. The worst thing that you can do is let it slip between your fingers and regret not taking a chance.

Hope this helps - Best of luck

AARRRGH

The longer you wait, the greater the chance some other guy will nip in there.

Make your move...

all is violent

Don't worry about it, i'm with a girl now who "hated relationships" and we've been together for over a year now. Go for it man, take it nice and slow but show your intent

fez22

Unregistered wrote: »

Hey folks. I'm 22, and I'm a bit all over the place at the moment, just looking for some advice. Basically, I've been with a girl on a couple of occasions over the past two or so months. I am crazy about her, she's possibly the nicest girl I've ever came across, and would really like to go out with her as such. We've been texting on and off for the past couple of weeks, and seem to get on really well together.

This is a good post, as a lot of guys have thought or being in similar situations before. Firstly, you need to not describe yourself as all over the place. Be cool and collected, you sound like a nice dude. There is no reason to get stressed at this stage, because if you get nervous and clingy you may make her uncomfortable. If you get on well together and she is as nice as you claim she is, just do what you have been doing. Ultimatums for dates are not a good way. Just keep it cool, and the right side of moving towards a boyfriend situation. Invite her somewhere fun, not for dinner, and keep moving things on and on until she feels she wants to be around you every minute of every day (and even though you may feel this too and maybe by the sounds of you, you are quite attatched already, don't tell her just yet ), hold off until some time when you feel good and you can have the 'chat' of how you want to go out as a couple. She may say she is not into boyfriends, but everyone wants to feel like someone cares for them and I don't know any girl that doesn't like to be treated well. I think this is a defensive mechanism, just keep up what your doing and stay calm about it all.

hotchick77

i had a pretty bad experience with an ex and it completly put me off having relationships until i met my current boyfriend that was, we started out as just a bit of fun nothing serious until i realised i had fallen in love with him. just go for it whats the worst that happens????

IWishh

Don't mind what you heard.
Exactly same thing happened to me, first time I met this guy he told me he hated the whole relationship, having a girlfriend thing.
It stayed in the back of my mind whenever I was with him, as Im sure it is with you, but we just continued dating, texting and got on incredibly well.
That was months and months ago and now we're properly together and I know hes really happy with me, not thinkin of me as some ball and chain haha. Im sure she'll be exactly the same.
Go for it!!

LegacyUser

fez22 wrote: »

This is a good post, as a lot of guys have thought or being in similar situations before. Firstly, you need to not describe yourself as all over the place. Be cool and collected, you sound like a nice dude. There is no reason to get stressed at this stage, because if you get nervous and clingy you may make her uncomfortable. If you get on well together and she is as nice as you claim she is, just do what you have been doing. Ultimatums for dates are not a good way. Just keep it cool, and the right side of moving towards a boyfriend situation. Invite her somewhere fun, not for dinner, and keep moving things on and on until she feels she wants to be around you every minute of every day (and even though you may feel this too and maybe by the sounds of you, you are quite attatched already, don't tell her just yet ), hold off until some time when you feel good and you can have the 'chat' of how you want to go out as a couple. She may say she is not into boyfriends, but everyone wants to feel like someone cares for them and I don't know any girl that doesn't like to be treated well. I think this is a defensive mechanism, just keep up what your doing and stay calm about it all.

This is good advice here. I was with a girl a while back who made all the effort and I just played it cool and she was mad about me. It was all very casual but then something changed and I fell for her, didnt handle it well and got a little insecure, nervous and clingy. This put her off so she ended it but once she ended it I was back to my normal self again and was able to just be cool around her once more and she ended up making all the effort again....very strange!

Mistika

Just give it a try and don't bother about what she said. Sometimes people say things suddenly, maybe she wasn't serious about that.