Single now 2 years....

iguana2005

how depressing...no shags...no snogs...no catching of eyes of a guy ANYWERE...no meeting new guys and having them grow on you into potential relationship status....nothing...zero.....makes me feel so unfeminine...unloved...not part of this world...

yes i have a great social life...am not bad looking...done the internet dtating(not my cup of tea...)

There is a new breed of women...30/40 yrs young....single....some renting still some lucky enough to have purchased houses...working full time living hand to foot....

What do you do for spare time?? All friends married(always call and love to hang out)...many the weekend I spend on my own...would go shopping etc..love to walk...bake...always go off on sunny holidays(backpacking) alone...

Is this norm? Have never met anyone like me?

LegacyUser

Join the club!!!!

AARRRGH

I know some guys in the same situation as you.

I am going to give you some good advice:

If you live in Dublin, start playing pool in the Camden Deluxe Hotel pool hall on Wexford street. It is full of single men in their mid to late thirties, and there are hardly any women there.

Just ask the guys at the table next to you for a game of doubles.

G-Money

Take your situation, take the 2 years, multiply it by 4 or 5 and make the person male. What do you get? Me!

You're not the only one out there feeling that way.

soundsham

AARRRGH wrote: »

I know some guys in the same situation as you.

I am going to give you some good advice:

If you live in Dublin, start playing pool in the Camden Deluxe Hotel pool hall on Wexford street. It is full of single men in their mid to late thirties, and there are hardly any women there.

Just ask the guys at the table next to you for a game of doubles.

fkn brilliant.......you don't research the jerry springer show by any chance:rolleyes:

iguana2005

grandmaster wrote: »

Take your situation, take the 2 years, multiply it by 4 or 5 and make the person male. What do you get? Me!

You're not the only one out there feeling that way.

Do you mind being single at your age(young young)? I feel the world is geared towards coupledom...im very independent women..change a lightbulb sort of chic...i stand way out from my friends as im the most confident and willing to do suff..muck in...

i worry about getting to my 50's and still being this way...no kids..no house still renting...living like a herit although very well liked and a character... it makes me sad....and retirement...the dread...I cant afford to save....rent...bills...

AARRRGH

soundsham wrote: »

fkn brilliant.......you don't research the jerry springer show by any chance:rolleyes:

Pardon?

Richard Dower

OP...i'm single, call me :-)

Wibbs

soundsham and Richard Dower read the charter of this forum about non helpful posting.

dazberry

iguana2005 wrote: »

I feel the world is geared towards coupledom...im very independent women..change a lightbulb sort of chic...i stand way out from my friends as im the most confident and willing to do suff..muck in...

Just make sure you're not hiding behind your independence and confidence - I'm not being smart - I did for years (while still feeling deeply lonely and unhappy). I found it a difficult thing to admit (to myself) until I read a few very good responses to ppls PIs (mostly from Wibbs - thanks dude) and it really made me step back and take a (more) honest look at things. Ultimately the person that has me here today is me, but that is the way thing were, things don't have to stay this way...

D.

G-Money

iguana2005 wrote: »

Do you mind being single at your age(young young)? I feel the world is geared towards coupledom...im very independent women..change a lightbulb sort of chic...i stand way out from my friends as im the most confident and willing to do suff..muck in...

i worry about getting to my 50's and still being this way...no kids..no house still renting...living like a herit although very well liked and a character... it makes me sad....and retirement...the dread...I cant afford to save....rent...bills...

I'm 32 and if I'm being honest it does bother me. It kind of nagged me for a while but for some reason, over the last few months, it's REALLY started to get to me. It's like I often say to myself "There must be something wrong with me." Then I say to myself "But what about when such n such said they couldn't believe I was single etc". Then I just think "Ok, there REALLY must be something wrong with me". It does get depressing to be honest. You see and hear of people who just seem to fall from one relationship to another and it's sickening. Or like others who have more than one person on the go at a time. Or you come on here and read endless posts like "oh I got drunk and slept with this person" or "I have a f*** buddy blah blah blah" and I often think to myself "I wish you'd stop complaining over nothing" You often think there's no justice in the world. It's getting to the point where I'm thinking about not coming on here anymore at all

Anyway, sorry for the rant.

LegacyUser

OP i dont know where your from but down the country there is a chronic shortage of half decent women, certainly over the age of 25 where single women are single for a reason...

iguana2005

grandmaster wrote: »

I'm 32 and if I'm being honest it does bother me. It kind of nagged me for a while but for some reason, over the last few months, it's REALLY started to get to me. It's like I often say to myself "There must be something wrong with me." Then I say to myself "But what about when such n such said they couldn't believe I was single etc". Then I just think "Ok, there REALLY must be something wrong with me". It does get depressing to be honest. You see and hear of people who just seem to fall from one relationship to another and it's sickening. Or like others who have more than one person on the go at a time. Or you come on here and read endless posts like "oh I got drunk and slept with this person" or "I have a f*** buddy blah blah blah" and I often think to myself "I wish you'd stop complaining over nothing" You often think there's no justice in the world. It's getting to the point where I'm thinking about not coming on here anymore at all

Anyway, sorry for the rant.

Here Here!!

Ah well...I wrecken in my previous life I was a housewife with loads of kids and I dreamt of being single and having no kids/nagging husband..travelling the world...being independent...and God went ya...you did well with the family life here is your dream life now - enjoy

Dudess

Make the most of your appearance - like, REALLY hotten yourself up. And go to gigs. You're in Cork aren't you? Plenty of bars do mid-week gigs with people aged 18 to 40 attending them.

Madame Razz

Unregistered wrote: »

, certainly over the age of 25 where single women are single for a reason...

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Dudess wrote: »

Make the most of your appearance - like, REALLY hotten yourself up.

+1

You're probably perfectly happy with your appearance, and you probably look great already, but you'd be amazed what that new hair do, or sexy dress, or nice shoes, or hot make-up will do for YOUR confidence, not necessarily anything else. You feeling good about yourself will shine thru and I suspect thats what is lacking at the mo; subconsciously you're probably quite negative and a bit down cos of this and that may be showing thru to people.

Also, as a previous poster said, don't use your confidence and independence as some sort of shield; in the main it tends to scare the bejeebus out of a lot of men.

Don't give up hope. And try not to think about it. Sounds daft, but its amazing what comes your way when you don't look for it;)

LegacyUser

AARRRGH wrote: »

I know some guys in the same situation as you.

I am going to give you some good advice:

If you live in Dublin, start playing pool in the Camden Deluxe Hotel pool hall on Wexford street. It is full of single men in their mid to late thirties, and there are hardly any women there.

Just ask the guys at the table next to you for a game of doubles.

Ya know what, he's right! I've been there and the place is crawling with them, and its quiet enough to talk too!

On a side note, my last single spell (30s) lasted 2 and 1/2 years and then bingo! Met my man backpacking alone!

Yes try to stay looking hot all the time, I'm serious, its good for the head. Other than that its a waiting game but it does happen at any moment. 2 yrs seems like a lifetime but its probably just an average single spell for adults. Things can all change overnight as when you meet someone at 30 something you don't spend years getting to know each other.

Of course the men are hotter, more plentiful and less hung up abroad - consider a move?

Dudess

Yeah OP, looks may not be everything ultimately, but initially, they're what get you noticed.

Unregistered wrote: »

down the country there is a chronic shortage of half decent women, certainly over the age of 25 where single women are single for a reason...

You're obviously 19 - why the rush to settle down?

OneArt

Being single's fun. I wouldn't have it any other way. I think I'd sooner have a gun to my head than be asked out, personally.

You should just enjoy your freedom.

SarahSassy

OP, a number of my friends are long term single, mid 30's, all attractive (and I am not being biased), good jobs, well travelled etc etc etc and I once asked a male friend of ours why none of us were meeting men.. He knows us all well for years and is quiet gregarious and he said he would be afraid to approach us as we all come across so confident and independent.. He also said that we look like we were having such a good time in our own company that a man would be an unwelcome intrustion.

I know its good to be independent and able to stand up for yourself but do not use it as a shield or a guard as I used to do.. I think I used to pretend not to care so people would not think I was desperate to meet someone and in the end I was doing such a good job of acting this way, I was not drawing men to me.

I know you dont need a man but you would like the company etc. Take a step back and have an independent look at the way you are coming across. Men like to be needed but you dont want to be needy - there is middle ground. Good luck and dont give up.

CDfm

Dudess wrote: »

Make the most of your appearance - like, REALLY hotten yourself up. And go to gigs. You're in Cork aren't you? Plenty of bars do mid-week gigs with people aged 18 to 40 attending them.

That is really good advice - I dress really well and get a haircut once a month.

So you should make an effort -women do..

In Cork you have great mens clothes shops and a good Tk Maxx so you can buy good branded clothes well and go to a perfume shop and buy some aftershave good perfume or cologne.

SarahSassy

CDfm wrote: »

That is really good advice - I dress really well and get a haircut once a month.

So you should make an effort -women do..

In Cork you have great mens clothes shops and a good Tk Maxx so you can buy good branded clothes well and go to a perfume shop and buy some aftershave or cologne.

I think the OP is a woman...

CDfm

SarahSassy wrote: »

I think the OP is a woman...

Must have chocolate as my concentration is shot.Whoops to that.

It goes to show what to do is not gender specific.



My g/f is a professional person and I would definately not be suited to an immature young thing .

G-Money

Being confident and independent is good. However some girls seem to constantly bang on about it. When they do, it makes me think two things:

1. If you were really so confident, why do you have to keep telling everyone you are.

2. They would probably do my head in.

As someone else pointed out, there's a happy medium. Some girls can be so aloof that if you dared say hello they'd respond like you just tried to steal their ovaries. Ironically I'm guessing these are the girls who are probably terminally single.

It's nice when a girl is independent enough to do her own thing and not always need their bf or whatever to hold their hand. It goes without saying that there are times when a couple needs to support each other etc. But being each others shadow sometimes is too much. Needy clingy people can become tiresome. At the same time too much independence makes you think "I bet she's out f****g other guys".

Just my two cents worth.

musicmonky

dont count your chickens before they are hatched.
a good few of my friends have laid chicks.
They are up to their eyes in muck and loads of screaming.

Women can mix up independence with cockyness.
Chatting up/going out has now become a fecking blood sport.

With the right hair colour or wonderbra you can get back out in the field.
for men its a lot trickier.

Quandary

For what its worth, if you're looking for someone maybe you should try asking someone out? Being a confident girl like you seem to be then taking control of the situation should appeal to you?

Just a thought & best of luck either way!:)

AARRRGH

Dudess wrote: »

Make the most of your appearance - like, REALLY hotten yourself up.

I completely agree with this.

If there is a problem with your appearance - bad skin, bad hair, bad clothes, bad body, bad teeth, etc. - spend a bit of time correcting these issues and you'll find people will be more attracted to you.

You're not 'lying to yourself' or whatever by changing your appearance - you're just making the most of what you have.

The reality is people are attracted to attractive people, and there's no excuse not to look good.

Bad skin? Get a facial and start looking after yourself.
Bad hair? Find a photo of a hairstyle you like (e.g. from a celeb magazine) and bring it to a salon.
Bad clothes? Buy from the like of Genius or websites like karmaloop.com. Throw out your old crappy clothes.
Bad body? Join the gym...
Bad teeth? Go to the dentist...

Nearly all of the above only require you to spend a bit of money - very little effort is necessary.

Once you have improved your appearance you'll immediately start feeling better about yourself, so your confidence and 'mental health' will improve.

musicmonky

what about..... not to be taken seriously . although im considering it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r7UMKUJo4E

gabbygirlgavin

well... if he found himself there is hope for us all!
Look, cheer up, love yourself (not like that!) and your confidence will shine thru.

rockchik

Oh god i hear ya!!!You must be in Cork because there is fek all guys here!well nothing worth talking about neway!!:p