The Laws of Attraction.....

LegacyUser

Ok there are some stunning & beautiful people out there, we all turn to look.
The gorgeous guy, the girl with the long hair & fabulous legs that catches your boyfriend eye.
I read once that men tend to go for the 'average' woman, she's attractive but not stunning as they feel they haven't a chance with the real knock outs. I asked my boyfriend this the other day. He infered same in roundabout way, he doesn't see himself as anything 'fabulous' at all so he wouldn't approach a woman like that. Well I suppose makes me wonder what he sees in me, he's never talked to me about apperance much and if I ask what he thinks of me physically he gets annoyed, probably feels put on spot. He's said the odd time 'you look nice, lovely', loves my boobs, the odd nice compliment but rare... We met on a blind 'internet' date so that was different than meeting someone in a bar and starting off based on physical attraction, we'd got to know each other for other things.

So is it true ladies and gents -do we tend to go for average atttraction and why?

star-pants

Are you enquiring as to why your bf finds you attractive or are you asking a general question?

LegacyUser

Think it's plain enough starfish. Nobody else can answer what he finds attractive in me. I think I'm attractive, told I'm goodlooking. Need to lose more weight, WIP which can get me down when dating. I don't know what or anything he likes about me physically (bar the big boobs lol) and neither does anyone else.
My ex of 11 years never said much either, I assume it's a man thing and try not to take it personally. Do girls ever compliment their boyfriends much??
So am asking do we tend to go for the 'same' as ourselves. If we think we are average to we go for average and so on.

Wibbs

A lot of men(and women) are not as demonstrative, but it doesn't mean they don't find you attractive and love you for who you are. Does he tell you he loves you, does he show you he loves you, is he emotionally and practically demonstrative in the right ways? If so I wouldn't worry as that's what counts. People's taste differs and what some may find attractive, others won't. I normally poo poo the usual cliches as easy answers for hard questions but I do believe "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" to be so true. I wouldn't have gotten action in the past if it wasn't

Yes I would tend to be of the opinion we usually go for people on our "level", but its more than just the physical and it's pretty subtle too. It's down to the overall package. I would also say I hear far more men saying that their partner is "out of their league" physically, so him saying he thinks of himself as nothing to write home about is little enough reflection on you(again in my own life I have gone out with women that were so far ahead of me in an obvious physical sense you would require the services of the Hubble telescope to see them).

OK there are the extreme examples in both sexes that the opposite sex holds as the yardstick of beauty, but that does not mean they would go for them. OK it may be a lack of confidence, but it could also just be down to lack of actual attraction too. I've seen that in action too.

As I say if he loves you and treats you as you should be treated and is sexually attracted to you, I would honestly try and put it out of your head as an issue.

LegacyUser

Thanks Wibbs, that's a great post.

I personally believe true attraction is based on love. When I 1st met him I was not attracted to him physically i.e. he was fine but didn't instantly fancy him - but that changed after a little now I love him he's only gorgeous to me now and I can't keep my hands off him.
Same with my ex (was too drunk to remember).
That's why I always think it's a pity people don't give each other a better chance when dating and not just base things so much on looks and this instant 'chemistry' thing.

I digress.....

BumbleB

runwithit wrote: »

I read once that men tend to go for the 'average' woman, she's attractive but not stunning as they feel they haven't a chance with the real knock

For that reason, I have found real good looking girls are far easier to approach . Average girls are used to men coming on to them and will knock you back easier.

AARRRGH

runwithit wrote: »

do we tend to go for average atttraction and why?

An average looking friend of mine only goes for stunners, another friend of mine only goes for fat women, and another only goes for short women.

We are all different.

Personally I go for cute, intelligent women. Think Janine Garofalo.

SarahSassy

I have a number of stunning friends who are single and I asked him what men are looking for in women. He said in general they appreciate good looks in women more than women do in men but at the end of the day, they all want someone they fancy and who is ‘sound’. She could be stunning and ‘sound’ or a minger and ‘sound’ but its down to the individual.

I’ve also been told by a number of my single male friends, that they play with the good-looking girl who may not be overly smart or interesting but they marry the girl with the personality….

Oh The Humanity

My boyfriend says stuff to me like

'you're lovely to me'

Which of course what it actually means is: 'You're average but I like you'

but Im happy with that!

I think if its not broken dont fix it. If you're not stunning, he wont tell you you are and it'll only make him uncomfy if he feels you are trying to pin him down!

Dont worry about looks, if you have the man you want! Good enough!

LegacyUser

Youre spot on Sarah ,


After travelling a good bit with my job , I don't idolise attractive irish women the way I used to .When I see a beautiful girl I just have to wonder ,is there anything going on below the makeup ,mascara ,fake tan and false eyelashes. I much prefer pretty girls with a heart of gold.


The main thing is whether she is fun and interesting and that really where it's at.