Take a job and move away from OH?

LegacyUser

This is a bit of a hypothetical PI. It involves me maybe being offered a job but turning it down so I'm sorry if it seems a bit insensitive to any of you who are currently out of work. I am newly qualified in my area and have strong reason to believe I may be offered a one year job starting in about 5 months. The only thing is that it is based in my hometown, about 2 hours where I currently live with my partner. He is planning on going back to college in September (in the city where we are now) which means if I take the job I will have to move home and see him weekends or every second weekend (I don't yet drive and he doesnt have an irish license).

We have done long distance for years with an ocean between us and I am eternally grateful that we now have the opportunity to be in the same country. On the one hand I think it's cool that I may have a job offer when jobs in this area are fairly scarce but on the other hard, I really believe I would be misreable moving back with my parents and not being with him everyday. I guess at the end of the day I'm gonna do what pleases me (which will probably be to stay put where I am and look for a job here) but I still would like to hear your advice. Has anyone been in a similar situation.
Before anyone says it's not that bad just seeing your OH at weekends, I personally would find it really sh*tty, having gone through worse before.

Anyway, thanks!
C

Snowie

some people spend 3 hours driving in to work due to traffic.... 2 hours is only 2 hours,

lau1247

2 hours to and 2 back.. so 4 total

MB Lacey

agree - 2 hours away isn't too bad - if you're feeling the need to really see each other you might stay over with him mid-week in addition to seeing him at weekends.

Also if he's starting college he actually might do a bit better with you out of the house giving him space for college work!

all in all - i don't think it sounds too bad moving the 2 hours away for a good job - see it as a short term step on the ladder to being offered a job in the city you both live.

enda1

You could both move to one hours distance from each detination? Meet half ways so to speak!?

amybabes

currently in the same position, the bf has been in oz since last june, im in my final year in uni, just doing my final exams, have to pick between an unexpected job offer here or going to oz to be with him.

think ive decided on going to oz, as the last yr has been so miserable without him, i dont think i could truly be happy staying here and taking the job. plus, the recession will turn back around. i dont want to look back with regrets thinking i wish i had gone to oz etc. im still young, so i have alot of mistakes to still make and maybe this will be one of them but sure if i dont go ill never know.
as for your situation, 2 hrs isnt that far away hun.....and believe me, i know from experience, that having a few nites off per week will do ye some good, ye will really make the most of yer weekends etc. try and do as another poster suggested, spend a nite midweek at his, to break the week, so if you stayed with him fri, sat, sun and maybe a weds, you only wouldnt see him on mon, tues and thurs nite! win win situation!! plus youd get to do other things which u dont always get to do when your living with someone....spend quality time with yer friends, girls nites/boys nites etc, spend more time with ur family, take up classes such as yoga etc, or just have some alone time! honestly, i did it for a year when i was on placement away from my uni city and my bf was there and id been living with him for a year, and it brought a new lease of life to our relationship, he was so romantic and really appreciated d nites he had wit me etc. we kinda felt all new again....txting cant wait 2 see u 2moro nite etc... which u dont get if ur living with the person!! my advice would be to give it a try, if ur finding it too hard, u can always pack the job in and move back in with him!! u can always be applying for jobs in the same city as him on d sly while ur working in the job u take & gaining experience & GETTING PAID!! best of luck hun!! xx

Nitxteha

What does he think about this? I am of the opinion to put private life always before work. However, we all need the money to live.

I would go only as the last resource. Jobs are difficult to get now, but it's more difficult to find the right person to share your life. Sooner or later you'll find a job, but take care of your OH.

Talk to him and try to find a way so that you don't have to separate from each other

RoadKillTs

In fairness thats not too bad. Some couples are countries apart.
If you want the job then you should go for it.
Im sure your OH will understand.

the_syco

unreggal wrote: »

he doesnt have an irish license

So? I know a few people in the company I work in that have Polish driving licenses, and are able to use them to get a car and (cheap) insurance (as they've had a full license for a few years). A full license from anywhere in the european union will get your insurance here.

I think you should move near your new job, get him a cheap car, and he can drive to college.

wolfpawnat

OP I know the pain of separation from OH.

He's in Dublin in college and I am in West Clare. Though unemployed I cannot move up to him as I recently had our baby. This summer he probably will have to stay in Dublin if he can find a job.

Separation is hard, you have to weigh up which is more important, seeing him every so often and having money or being with him and having very little money. Only you can make that decision and if you have to try to justify your answer to yourself, its the wrong one.

Good luck OP:)

LegacyUser

Hi, OP here,

about the car, he is from the States and cant use his license, its different to using an EU one.

I talked to him about it and he thought it it is great opportunity and that it wouldnt be too different to our life now (he currently works nights). So as amybabes said I could spend a night mid week and every weekend with him. It wouldnt be so bad I guess but it just makes me feel sad that I couldnt see him whenever I wanted, not in a stalker-ish way, we are together nearly 6 years, but we are very close etc.

Also, moving home would mean living with the parents again (!) which, while not the end of the world and a good money saver, I would probably have my head wrecked after a week....Anyway nevermind, I appreciate all your advice, thanks for taking the time!!!!!

LegacyUser

about the car, he is from the States and cant use his license, its different to using an EU one.

He can use his licence for one year. Get moving on the Irish licence and driving test now. it may take six months to sort this, but not a lifetime. You too can learn to drive in 6 months.

LegacyUser

Meet halfway, move an hour away from both place and get yourself driving. Get him to apply for a test here! Five months is loads of time to get yourself a full license.

I am doing the whole LDR thing for the past 4 years and the freedom of driving has really improved things.