Nothing to do, feel so down

LegacyUser

Hi,

I lost my job just before christmas and for 1st few weeks it was fine. I kept busy applying for other roles, and i did a couple of interviews.
But in the last couple of months, i've had no luck with applications/interviews etc and i am just at home all day every day slowly cracking up.

I feel useless, if i stay in bed late i feel guilty, if i get up early i have nothing to do. I just feel bad no matter what.

Parents come home at 4 or 5 and ask what i was doing all day...and i have no answer. Even at mealtimes etc while they all chat about their day, i have nothing to add. My life just seems empty and i just feel so bad about my situation.
Highlight of my day is if i have to go to do something in town for an hour or 2.

What is anybody else doing to keep busy or occupied who are out of work?
My evenings are fine, but its just the daytime is killing me.

eddie.fandango

Hey OP,

I know exactly how you feel. From September 08 until the end of February, I was in the exact same position. I was out of college, unemployed, and felt worse than I ever have, as you said, life just felt empty. The way I got through it was by being creative: I spent my days working on different projects, working on music, programming etc. Ask yourself what your interests are, and set yourself goals. This lull in employment won't last forever, so right now, you should work on something that will develop yourself personally and professionally, while you have the time to do so. Look at it this way, thousands of people work from home every day, so even though you're not being paid in cash, you will reap the benefits in the long term.

Finally, if you're going to make any improvements and achieve something, you need to give yourself a kick in the ass and stop feeling sorry for yourself. There are plenty of people in your position or worse, so get yourself motivated and do something constructive.

(One final thought, as tempting as it may be, PLEASE don't become a chugger!)

Glowing

Volunteer? Walk dogs at your local dog shelter? Volunteer in the local charity shop? All these things look positive to prospective employers and will give you valuable skills in the process ....

LegacyUser

No job, no life wrote: »

Hi,

I lost my job just before christmas and for 1st few weeks it was fine. I kept busy applying for other roles, and i did a couple of interviews.
But in the last couple of months, i've had no luck with applications/interviews etc and i am just at home all day every day slowly cracking up.

I feel useless, if i stay in bed late i feel guilty, if i get up early i have nothing to do. I just feel bad no matter what.

Parents come home at 4 or 5 and ask what i was doing all day...and i have no answer. Even at mealtimes etc while they all chat about their day, i have nothing to add. My life just seems empty and i just feel so bad about my situation.
Highlight of my day is if i have to go to do something in town for an hour or 2.

What is anybody else doing to keep busy or occupied who are out of work?
My evenings are fine, but its just the daytime is killing me.

Hi OP, I'm in the same boat, I registered for a Fas course thinking I would be 'snapped' up haha, (I wasn't)and six months later -nothing..so, I was getting into the horrible cycle of bed, jeremy kyle, sandwich, google a bit, judge judy etc etc..It had to stop, or I would've been on medication for depression by end of the month.so, i went to the local gym in Tallaght, starting swimming, circuits, spinnning-anything.Then would get a stack of books from the library etc, I'm a stone lighter, never been fitter and wonder how i can fit my new excercise routine into my life if i ever get back to work! There are loads of free things on in every area, the library/citizens advice is a great starting point! Good Luck OP

Agree with Eddie,

There is unlimited numbers of things you can not do. There are so many things your body is capable of that you do not do with it. There are so many things you can do with your mind that you cant do right now. If you have free time then LEARN some of them.

It can be something work related. A new skill that will be directly beneficial to what your line of work is.

It could be a new language so that if you can not find work here you may find it in another country. Especially in Europe there are many English speaking companies which still have to use the local language from time to time.

Or it could be something totally for you. Learn to dance, to play music, or get out and do some landscape design in the garden or grow some vegetables.

There is too many things this world has to offer to allow yourself to be bored.

Orla K

I'm in the same boat as you (except depression came before the unemployment). I did hear that you should get up in the mornings it's better but I can't remember the reasons. I was talking to someone where she had to ask me if I was working but when she found out I wasn't she asked me what I did all day(she was nice about it unlike other people I've met) I hadn't thought about it in ages. I've a bad memory and said that all last week I was minding two dogs (both just got neutered, one was very sick after, they're also not mine). She also asked me what else do I do. I don't have much spare money so what ever I do has to be cheap, I'm learning to drive, I did a bit of work last summer and spent the money on a home learning course, I take the dogs for walks to the woods or go by myself, I have a digital SLR camera so I take photos, I read (since I don't have a tv this is great, I love books also not having a tv is what the woman was most shocked about) and of course I go on the internet.

If you don't know what to do then just go outside for a walk somewhere, it's a really simple thing to do but it can really clear the mind.

Whatever you do don't get stuck onto doing nothing, it's the worst thing you could do.

Xiney

Hi OP.

I lost my job the very last day of November and still haven't found work. I have been really down since then. I knew I was suffering from depression but I figured I would try to get out of it myself.

Anyway, last week I made a deal with myself: I would accomplish one small thing per day all week plus getting showered and dressed before noon or else I would see my GP. I ended up having to see my GP.


Basically, there is no shame in asking for help if you need it.

nedoo

So many people need help out ther, go help them. Get out of bed early, get ready as if you were going to work and then do something. Go help old people, collect for groups, read to the blind, anything. Fill your days, you will feel better and more motivated to get your life back on track. You never know who you meet or what path your life will take but you have to make this all happen by getting out there and having a life.

Dudess

Glowing wrote: »

Walk dogs at your local dog shelter?

That's what I plan to do (out of a job in a few weeks) - great idea. Gets you out of the house and it's exercise.
Also OP, what about doing a computer course with flexible hours (so that you're free if any work comes along)?
Apply to Lidl/Aldi too - they seem to have loads of jobs going.

LoanShark

I know where you're coming from!
I was unemployed for four months at the end of 08 and for march of this year..

• You have to get out of bed EVERY morning not afternoon MORNING!

My way was to get up with my Girlfriend and make her lunch Even on the morning she was going to work at half six.

• Apply for everything that you are qualified for and even what you think you might be qualifed for!
• Does the experience form your last job allow you the chance to get back into it as a consultant type role?
• Think what jobs around the house you put of until you had time?....You're unemployed you now have the time!
• One of the things I wanted to do was draw up my family tree, (Fortunately I'm back working and this has gone on the back burner...But I will do it...When I get time....)
• Getting involved as a volunteer is probably harder than getting a job these days as alot of people have been made redundant and are unsing their time to volunteer.
• What hobbies do you have? Can you make any money from it if you really spent time at it?

I could on, But I hope you get the point...

As My Dad used to say"Boys get up off your arse and do somthing!"

estar

http://www.volunteeringireland.com/

weed the garden

weed your neighbours garden for nothing. visit elderly neighbours. bake for them. do their shopping.

drop leaflets in every door in your estate offering to mow the lawn clean houses and garden, or if you dont want to work for your neighbours in every other estate. clean windows. make your parents dinner every day, do the housework and shopping.

offer to walk dogs. go to your local old peoples home and offer to be a companion. offer to babysit friends kids for free to give them a night out.

volunteer on literacy programs. volunteer to do the soup kitchens for the samaritans. volunteer to work in oxfam shops. keep a daily diary of what you have done thought achieved every day.

ban all TV if you find yourself getting sucked in by it. it will take over your facility to think and depress you.

every day you must contribute to the world in some way for free. if every person adopted this attitude imagine how great the world would be.

i have to work so my contribution is reading posts on here (which some people would argue is not a contribution at all given some reactions to my posts) and some other volunteer work, and regular free babysitting.

make all your food from scratch.

in interviews - if someone had been long term on the dole, the most intersting thing to me would be what had the person done. and the answer i would not be looking for was - i looked for a job

big swing. you looked for a job AND. what else did you do. i am not going to employ someone who doesnt have an AND. self motivation, drive, balls, never say die. this is what we need.

the reaction to failure or disappointment is the most telling about the character. i dont want to know how people do when they succeed. i want to know how they react when they fail. do they sink. or do they triumph and refuse every to be taken down.

say to yourself every morning, this is an exam, a test. your exam is are you internally or externally motivated. are you independant enough to maintain your standards and self belief in the face of no current external reason to suceed.

when the chips are down what do you want to be. someone with an enclycopediac knowledge of day time TV or someone who adds value to this planet. this country has given you a lot, we all should give something back.

when faced with the negative we must turn to a positive.

look around your local community. is there something that can be improved. is there a local youth centre that needs someone to supervise in the evenings. could you offer local children free grinds in any subject. by the time you get a new job you could have helped a child pass their junior cert with one on one training or helped someone learn to read. or listened to someone by volunteering for the samaritans.

and these skills will transfer into your next job. the confidence you will get from managing on your own and contributing and differentiating yourself from people who lay down - that will make you a success in everything else.

idontknowmyname

I was in exactly the same position as yourself only a few weeks ago, applying to loads of jobs i was qualified for and some I had some skills for- nothing much. In two months I had an interview for a sales assistant, got told in the interview I was way over qualified as years ago I was a department manager in one of the big stores, then the 2nd interview I didn't have the specific experience they were looking for.

So I was getting all seriously depressed and my confidence was completely shattered- I'm usually an outgoing person. The last straw for me was when I was dumped by the guy I was seeing- I have never been so down and spent the weekend in bed but it gave me the kicking I needed.

I booked a one way flight to London as the job market is still pretty decent here. I've been here just over a week and have had 3 interviews already, I'm at 2nd round tomorrow for my dream job so fingers crossed- would not have had a hope in hell in getting anything like this position in Ireland.

My advice for the Irish market is to try and stay positive, I know it's really hard to keep yourself motivated, is there any way you could look at moving abroad to look for work? I wasn't in a financial position to do it myself so my parents gave me a help-out.

b12mearse

I know how you feel buddy. Try three years.

The best way to deal I find is create your own routine.
Get up every morning at say 8 as if you were going to work mon-fri. Sleep in weekends.
Join the gym..this will expend some of the energy you have. Keep a routine there also mon-fri or whatever suits you.
The most important thing is routine..thats what your body is missing out on

Queen-Mise

all the summer camps are looking for volunteers at the moment. Your trained to work with kids 3 - 15.

Great exp, lots of fun and meets loads of people. You may get something else out of it.

Lots of different organisations need help so look around a good bit.

LegacyUser

Im not being santinmonious, but I swore that if I lost my job and had time.. I would go down to bru caoimhin on cork street and talk to the elderly.

Just talk for an hour or so. I go by on the bus every day in a rush and I see an old man standing at the fence when the weather is good dying to talk to all these people rushing by.

I should do it anyway really in the evening, but I'm too tired.

Maybe you might consider it.. and fill in for me until I'm unempoloyed ?

If you are not into that sort of stuff, which I realise alot of people arent then take up running in the morning after breakfast. Never get up later than 10.30am and set a little goal each day. Plan your day out in half hours until the evening and that way you might feel like you've obtained a little goal each day perhaps?